One of the Worst Books Ever

Well, certainly one of the worst to read a week away from your baby's first birthday.

I happened across this book while at a local Christian bookstore, getting a baptism present for one of our favorite little dudes. Oh. my. god, I had to shut it quick before I started crying big ugly tears right there in the store.

I mean this one ranks up there with Robert Munsch's Love You Forever. You remember that one where the grown man rocks his elderly mother on his lap as she had done for so many years. KILLS ME.

You can see a few pages here but get out the tissue.

"Long ago you came to me,

a miracle of firsts;

First smiles and teeth and baby steps,

a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away

and leave me to your past.

And I will be left thinking of

of a lifetime of your lasts..."

*SOB*

"The last time when you ran to me,

still small enough to hold.

The last time when you said you'd marry

me when you got old.

Precious, simple moments and

bright flashes from your past-

Would I have held on longer if

I'd have known they were your last?"

Seriously, bad idea.

I am so not ready for his birthday to come. Please sweet boy, please stop, for just a little while. I'm not ready to let go.

Dear Baby Mine

3w4d

Dear Baby,

I have waited so long for you. So long that I could hardly believe it when I saw those two pink lines that told me you existed. It was so hard to believe and you were such a miracle, that it took three days and three tests for it to sink in. And although you are only the size of a poppyseed or something rediculously small like that, I love you as if you were already in my arms.

So here we go Baby, off on a great journey together. I'll make a deal with you. I'll take whatever you dish at me as long as you stick around. These sore boobs, they're cake. The cramping, I have to admit it freaks me out but if it means you are just burrowing in tight, we're golden. I'm looking forward to morning sickness in a way because it'll feel all the more real. Crazy? I guess so.

I have to admit Baby that I am scared. As scared as I was thinking I'd never get to have you in the first place, I'm even more terrified to lose you. You are my miracle and I so very much want to be your mommy.

I have been waiting 36 years for you. That's a long, long time and there's a whole lotta love just waiting for you. May God bless you and keep the both of us in his hand.

I love you,

Mommy