We picked the kids up yesterday, both looking taller than ever. I don't know what they put in the water now a days but it's probably all the hormones in the milk or something.
We spent the late afternoon traipsing through the Valley Fair mall trying to find a couch cover for the nasty couch since the hamster bit a huge hole through the last one. Bethia and I ended up going into Limited Too, each getting a pet pet plushie. I bought a kadoatie and she got a ba baa. Very cute!
Next to target to pick out the couch cover we couldn't find at Macy's and new bedding for the kids. This brought us home very late so we ended up eating at 10 pm. Not the best schedule wise. We had a great talk after dinner. It felt very good for all of us to be able to communicate like that. There were no upset feelings like some of the convos at Christmas and everyone was able to open up. Both the kids expressed an interest in living with us if their mother had to move out of their current school district and enroll them in new schools. Seems the only thing keeping them there at the moment are their friends, at least in Bethia's case.
Today is a lazy day. We are eating breakfast late and plan to take the kids out to Indian for dinner. A new adventure..lol
OMG I just realized...there was no angst in this post...none....haha...weird.
6/27/03
I Am So Going to Throw Up
So Alex is coming home and then we will head over to the center so I can turn in my resignation. I just called to see if my boss (soon to be former) was there and she was. She was so nice and happy to talk to me. She even said "Oooh I can't wait to see you" No you don't..you don't want to because I'm the doom faeire. *sigh* I don't know if I can handle this. I've never had to resign and this is going to completely blindside them. Why do I feel evil when I'm finally doing something that is GOOD for me. I would be an idiot if I didn't take this opportunity and I just hope they see that.
6/25/03
6/24/03
Preparing for D-Day
I woke up this morning to a call from the principal at my prospective new job. We set up another interview tomorrow to talk over "ideas and possibilities" *sigh* I HATE waiting.
I'm scared about the whole prospect really. I've become quite comfortable in my situation as a Pre-K teacher. I know I am the best teacher these little ones can have. Sure lots of stuff at work stinks but there's a lot of positives as well....the kids and housing with free cable modems being one.
A new job means having to move again, not having the security ion the position I have now. I am having real fear wondering if I can actually teach older ones. I'm sure I can, I just am scared about it. I mean my god now I'm going to have to teach them how to read!!! This is if I get first of course.
Second grade is another story. Two teachers, the Vice Principal and the former Second Grade teacher (she's now moving to 8th)have said they think I would be excellent in 2nd. This is a major freak out point for me because as the 2nd grade teacher I would have to teach and plan the kids first Penance (confession) and first Holy Eucharist (communion). This is a BIG deal. To be in charge of First Communion for the Carmel Mission Basilica, the most famous mission of the California Missions is a HUGE deal. Not forgetting that I never had my own first Penance because I don't believe in it and neither does my mother...lol I've had almost all the other sacraments including Last Rights.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens. After all I believe things happen for a reason and if 2nd is where I am supposed to be...then 2nd it is.
I'm scared about the whole prospect really. I've become quite comfortable in my situation as a Pre-K teacher. I know I am the best teacher these little ones can have. Sure lots of stuff at work stinks but there's a lot of positives as well....the kids and housing with free cable modems being one.
A new job means having to move again, not having the security ion the position I have now. I am having real fear wondering if I can actually teach older ones. I'm sure I can, I just am scared about it. I mean my god now I'm going to have to teach them how to read!!! This is if I get first of course.
Second grade is another story. Two teachers, the Vice Principal and the former Second Grade teacher (she's now moving to 8th)have said they think I would be excellent in 2nd. This is a major freak out point for me because as the 2nd grade teacher I would have to teach and plan the kids first Penance (confession) and first Holy Eucharist (communion). This is a BIG deal. To be in charge of First Communion for the Carmel Mission Basilica, the most famous mission of the California Missions is a HUGE deal. Not forgetting that I never had my own first Penance because I don't believe in it and neither does my mother...lol I've had almost all the other sacraments including Last Rights.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens. After all I believe things happen for a reason and if 2nd is where I am supposed to be...then 2nd it is.
6/5/03
Please Make it Stop!
I have been running on empty lately. Physically and emotionally. The paperwork has buried me this year and the fact that my co-teacher and I, who have always gotten along, are now grating on each others nerves (at least she is on mine) isn't making things better. I know Head Start is a good program but to be honest I wish we were not in a partnership with them. They do not have the attitude of partnership nor does my co-teacher. With Head Start they believe their ways are best, do as we do. A lot of it just makes me want to puke. With my co-teacher it is the same way. Very unchanging and unwilling to compromise.
We have 27 students. Most of them are Head Start students. All but one are also State students. This means I am responsible for the paperwork for 26 student whereas she is for 19 or so. She also doesn't have to do the exact same paperwork as me, so while she does have lots to do it is not the extent I am doing mine. I also have to do mine all by myself on my own non-paid, non-benefited time.
I have been up till 3:30 am two nights in a row trying to get my paperwork done for parent conferences. This is a lot of stuff. For example we had 5 yesterday and were to have 5 today. She springs two new conferences tomorrow on our already planned two. Didn't bother consulting me, asking if it was ok or could we switch it to next week. Oh no, she has to go by her schedule forget the fact I haven't slept in days and maybe just maybe I can't get three new files done in one evening.
If I'm here next year things are going to change!!!
We have 27 students. Most of them are Head Start students. All but one are also State students. This means I am responsible for the paperwork for 26 student whereas she is for 19 or so. She also doesn't have to do the exact same paperwork as me, so while she does have lots to do it is not the extent I am doing mine. I also have to do mine all by myself on my own non-paid, non-benefited time.
I have been up till 3:30 am two nights in a row trying to get my paperwork done for parent conferences. This is a lot of stuff. For example we had 5 yesterday and were to have 5 today. She springs two new conferences tomorrow on our already planned two. Didn't bother consulting me, asking if it was ok or could we switch it to next week. Oh no, she has to go by her schedule forget the fact I haven't slept in days and maybe just maybe I can't get three new files done in one evening.
If I'm here next year things are going to change!!!
6/1/03
Dancing the Night Away
Ok, realization, I'm not as young as I used to be...lol...and It's very hard to stay awake when you are stone cold sober.
Alex, my best friend Amber and I went up to the City (San Fran for those not in Cali) to go to a club to see Infected Mushroom. They are Israeli Psychedelic Trance DJ's whose sound really just kicks your ass it's so hard. Awesome, awesome stuff. Of course Thump always puts their headliners on around 4 so that sucked. We danced super hard to some guy who played before them. Man was he good. Sadly all my energy was then spent my the time Mushroom got up to play. At that point Alex and I just sat and listened to the music and watched people just go off around us. I just love watching some of the dancers at these things....such joy and life in their dancing. It's wonderful. Those of us in this scene have all been there, that transcendent place where you feel one with everyone around you and with the world. It's as if you can accomplish anything. And all through music. I wish more people, those outside of this circle, would understand.
Earlier in the night in the upstairs room there was a DJ who was also playing guitar over some beats while a woman sang some middle eastern songs...wow beautiful. We sat up there for that whole set just listening to her. People got a big kick out of my flouro pants. Got asked left and right where I got them. Sorry folks gotta go to England for those babies.
It was a great night though I am sooo tired. A 5 am bedtime is no good for me. We slept until about noon in San Jose at Ambers and then went out to eat breakfast before heading back home. Ack it was so hot I thought I was gonna die. After Orlando and everything I am so done with heat...that is unless it involves a Hawaiian beach or something...lol
Alex, my best friend Amber and I went up to the City (San Fran for those not in Cali) to go to a club to see Infected Mushroom. They are Israeli Psychedelic Trance DJ's whose sound really just kicks your ass it's so hard. Awesome, awesome stuff. Of course Thump always puts their headliners on around 4 so that sucked. We danced super hard to some guy who played before them. Man was he good. Sadly all my energy was then spent my the time Mushroom got up to play. At that point Alex and I just sat and listened to the music and watched people just go off around us. I just love watching some of the dancers at these things....such joy and life in their dancing. It's wonderful. Those of us in this scene have all been there, that transcendent place where you feel one with everyone around you and with the world. It's as if you can accomplish anything. And all through music. I wish more people, those outside of this circle, would understand.
Earlier in the night in the upstairs room there was a DJ who was also playing guitar over some beats while a woman sang some middle eastern songs...wow beautiful. We sat up there for that whole set just listening to her. People got a big kick out of my flouro pants. Got asked left and right where I got them. Sorry folks gotta go to England for those babies.
It was a great night though I am sooo tired. A 5 am bedtime is no good for me. We slept until about noon in San Jose at Ambers and then went out to eat breakfast before heading back home. Ack it was so hot I thought I was gonna die. After Orlando and everything I am so done with heat...that is unless it involves a Hawaiian beach or something...lol
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