...and the Walls Come Tumbling Down

Shortly after writing that last blog the rug was indeed pulled out from under me, worse than I could ever imagine.

My day started with taking Henri to the exotic vet and finding out it wasn't an abscess but a tumor. Of course it needed to be removed so I said good bye to sweet Henri and around $300.00 so he could have that awful thing removed. The vet seemed hopeful about it and said it would be easy to remove.

I was supposed to hang with my mom but shelling out money, when I was already worried about money for IVF, didn't put me in a real festive mood.

Then I got the call that made everything crash down around me. Melissa, the finance person at my clinic, called to tell me that my RE no longer carried my insurance. I knew they weren't a provider for Cigna but they were for Beech Street which is under the Cigna umbrella. As of June they no longer contract with them. This is why she had such a hard time getting exact prices for me the day before.

She explains how I could pay as a cash patient and then bill my insurance. However, if we were stressing over $5100 how on earth could I pay $10,000 upfront for the procedure alone? All I could do was cry and tell Melissa that that wouldn't be feasible for us and we'd have to cancel going forward on the cycle. I know she felt terrible but I also know there wasn't anything she could do. "This is what I hate about my job", she said.

When I got off the phone with her I tried to call Alex but couldn't reach him. That didn't help because I was hysterical at that point and practically hyperventilating. I turned to my girls on the TTC6+ board and they helped talk me down.

The biggest help was Megan coming to see me. What an amazing friend. She actually left work to come sit and cry with me. That is worth it's weight in gold.

Before she arrived I had to call my mom and tell her the cycle was a no go. She just sat on the phone crying and saying, "Why?" You see, my mom wants this as much as I do and it made me cry all over again to hear her choke up. Alex finally got back to me and immediately suggested we switch to UCSF's clinic. We know they are under our insurance because before we found out my local RE was covered under Beech Street, we were going to go up to SF.

So it looks like we'll be heading to SF for IVF but the sad thing is we'll have to wait for next summer. I'll have to actually live up there for two weeks during stims and ER/ET because of all the monitoring etc. There's no way we can drive two hours every day with Alex's job. I hate this because I'll be another year older, less fertile than I am now. However, what can I do? My hands are tied.

I hate this.

One thing Megan told me to do was make a list of things I was going to do to get ready for next summer. She said list making helps her so just for her I'm going to do it. Bold things are done.

To Do Before IVF
- Keep trying naturally
- Buy OPKs
- Go back to temping all the time
- Take my pills regularly (I had stopped my PNV, because why bother?)
- Make sure Alex is still taking all of his supplements
- Buy more Pre Seed
- SAVE MONEY
- Request info from UCSF
- Make an appointment to talk to UCSF
- Finish b/w needed for IVF cycle (CF/STD screen)
- Keep praying for a miracle

There's probably more I could add but I can't think of it now.

P.S- Henri is home and is fine. He has steel stitches so he doesn't take them out but he did great.