Today has been a very difficult day for so many of my internet sisters.
This is a big pile of suckage for so many of us. The despair and hopelessness my friends have felt today, as well as my own craptastic feelings, makes me cry.
Why can't things be easy? They are all such wonderful people, with so much to offer. We would all be wonderful mothers and we are being robbed of that. I see so many unfit mothers around and it just seems so unfair.
So I ask why? Why me? Why any of us? When will it be our turn? Will we ever get one?
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2008
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July
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- Cycle 17 is Already a Bitch
- One Would Think I have a Masterbation Problem
- One is Silver and the Other's Gold
- ...and the Walls Come Tumbling Down
- The Emotional IF Rollercoaster
- Time to go back to School
- Infertility Round-up
- The Mermaid is a Stalker
- My Foray into Politics
- Demotivator of the Week
- Out Damn Spot
- I'm a Yo-Yo
- Stick a Fork in Me
- Like Sands Through an Hourglass
- Why?
- Can I Get an Amen?
- In Honor of Independence Day
- Big Sur is Burning
- The Importance of Wall-E
- A Trip to the Happiest Place on Earth (including G...
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July
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Favorite Books
- Animal Farm
- 1984
- Tobacco Road
- The Time Traveler's Wife
- The Great Gatsby
- Gone with the Wind
What I Am Reading Now
- The Baby Book
- Dr Sears Vaccine Book
Favorite Movies
- American Beauty
- Before Sunrise
- Before Sunset
- Blue Velvet
- Closer
- Dogville
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
- Fight Club
- Gattaca
- Gone with the Wind
- Happiness
- Human Traffic
- Mr and Mrs Smith
- Punch Drunk Love
- Requiem for a Dream
- The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
- The Good Girl
- The Others
- The Right Stuff
- The Virgin Suicides
- Titanic
- Waiting for Guffman
- Your Friends and Neighbors
What I've Watched Recently
- The Reader
Friend's Blogs
- All in Due Time
- Becca's Baby Blog
- Bella and her Fella
- Bless this Food
- Blog-abillie
- Carrying a Crystal Box
- Definitely Maybe...
- Emily the Hopeless
- H & T Try to Make Three
- I Can't Stop the Rain
- Just Trying to Make a Cub
- Look at the Birds
- Mats Weekly
- Mommy Wanna-Be
- Reflections of a Red Sox Fan
- Rising Through the Infertility Ashes
- Still Trying to Get Knocked Up
- Thank God There are Cookies
- The Adventures of A and E
- The Bailly Blog
- Waiting on the Baby Carriage
- What's Cookin?
- You Expect My Uterus to do What?
Save Handmade Toys
Sebastian's Ticker
See Sebastian Grow
Growing Day by Day
Birth- 8 lbs 13.3 oz, 21 inches
Two months- 15 lbs 2 oz, 24.5 inches
Four months- 18.5 lbs, 27 inches
Six months- 20 lbs, 15 oz, 28 inches
Nine months- 22 lbs, 6 oz, 28.5 inches
Ten months- 22 lbs, 11 oz
Twelve months- 24 lbs, 5 oz, 30.3 inches
Fourteen months- 26 lbs, 32 inches
Two months- 15 lbs 2 oz, 24.5 inches
Four months- 18.5 lbs, 27 inches
Six months- 20 lbs, 15 oz, 28 inches
Nine months- 22 lbs, 6 oz, 28.5 inches
Ten months- 22 lbs, 11 oz
Twelve months- 24 lbs, 5 oz, 30.3 inches
Fourteen months- 26 lbs, 32 inches
Sebastian's Milestones and Firsts
7/3/09- Holds head up (yes, from birth. The nurses were shocked)
7/31/09-Sebastian realizes he can control his hands and shakes his wrist rattle purposefully, Follows momma with his eyes. (28d)
8/8/09- Social smiling starts. (1m 5d)
8/24/09- Starting to laugh (1m 21d)
9/26/09- Sebastian starts to play with toys and tries to roll (2m 23d)
10/26/09- First time "swimming" (3m 23d)
11/12/09- Sebastian finds his feet (4m 9d)
11/17/09- First cold (4m 14d)
11/19/09- Rolling back to belly (4m 16d)
11/21/09- Lower left incisor errupts (4m 18d)
11/22/09- Lower right incisor errupts (4m 19d)
11/26/09- Rolled belly to back (4m 23d)
12/22/09- Starts to reach for Mama (5m 19d)
12/25/09- Starts solids (5m 22d)
12/26/09- Lower right lateral incisor errupts (5m 23d)
12/29/09- Lower left lateral incisor errupts (5m 26d)
1/3/10- Multiconsonant babble (6m)
1/4/10- Sitting unassisted (6m 1d)
1/24/10- Upper right central incisor errupts, "Self" discovery (6m 21d)
1/27/10- Upper left central incisor errupts (6m 24d)
2/14/10- Starts crawling, hits two objects together (7m 11d)
2/19/10- Pulled up on own (7m 16d)
2/20/10- Upper left lateral incisor errupts (7m 17d)
3/13/10- Gets into sitting position on his own, leans over and puts arm down to get out of standing, looks for covered object he knew was there (8m 9d)
3/28/10- Tries to flush toilet, tried to climb onto the bed but couldn't so he drags something over to climb on (8m 25d)
4/3/10- Uses a straw (9m)
4/4/10- Starts making a bunny nose- On Easter no less (9m 1d)
4/5/10- Rolls tongue (9m 2d)
4/6/10- Opens and closes drawers (9m 3d)
4/13/10- Upper right lateral incisor errupts, flushes toilet, waves to the hospital security guard (9m 10d)
4/19/10- Stands on own(9m 16d)
4/20/10- Jumps while holding on to something (9m 17d)
7/31/09-Sebastian realizes he can control his hands and shakes his wrist rattle purposefully, Follows momma with his eyes. (28d)
8/8/09- Social smiling starts. (1m 5d)
8/24/09- Starting to laugh (1m 21d)
9/26/09- Sebastian starts to play with toys and tries to roll (2m 23d)
10/26/09- First time "swimming" (3m 23d)
11/12/09- Sebastian finds his feet (4m 9d)
11/17/09- First cold (4m 14d)
11/19/09- Rolling back to belly (4m 16d)
11/21/09- Lower left incisor errupts (4m 18d)
11/22/09- Lower right incisor errupts (4m 19d)
11/26/09- Rolled belly to back (4m 23d)
12/22/09- Starts to reach for Mama (5m 19d)
12/25/09- Starts solids (5m 22d)
12/26/09- Lower right lateral incisor errupts (5m 23d)
12/29/09- Lower left lateral incisor errupts (5m 26d)
1/3/10- Multiconsonant babble (6m)
1/4/10- Sitting unassisted (6m 1d)
1/24/10- Upper right central incisor errupts, "Self" discovery (6m 21d)
1/27/10- Upper left central incisor errupts (6m 24d)
2/14/10- Starts crawling, hits two objects together (7m 11d)
2/19/10- Pulled up on own (7m 16d)
2/20/10- Upper left lateral incisor errupts (7m 17d)
3/13/10- Gets into sitting position on his own, leans over and puts arm down to get out of standing, looks for covered object he knew was there (8m 9d)
3/28/10- Tries to flush toilet, tried to climb onto the bed but couldn't so he drags something over to climb on (8m 25d)
4/3/10- Uses a straw (9m)
4/4/10- Starts making a bunny nose- On Easter no less (9m 1d)
4/5/10- Rolls tongue (9m 2d)
4/6/10- Opens and closes drawers (9m 3d)
4/13/10- Upper right lateral incisor errupts, flushes toilet, waves to the hospital security guard (9m 10d)
4/19/10- Stands on own(9m 16d)
4/20/10- Jumps while holding on to something (9m 17d)
Our TTC Journey
4/07- Started TTC
10/4/07 - First appt. with fertility clinic
10/8/07- CD 3 bloodwork (FSH 4.7, Estradiol 30, TSH 2.15, Prolactin 9.7, and LH 6.4~ All within normal ranges.)
10/11/07- Ultrasound ~ Uterus and ovaries look good.
10/15/07- HSG ~ Tubes are clear.
10/19/07- Hysteroscopy ~ All normal
10/27/07- CD 21 Blood Test ~ Progesterone 29.8
11/8/07- DH's 1st SA Volume: 1.0 Ph: 8.5 Motility: 1hr- 14%, 2hr- 11% Count, Viscosity, Morphology: N/A due to volume.
11/30/07- Endometrial Biopsy ~ Abnormal
12/1/07- DH starts 1000mg of Vit. C, 50mg of Zinc, and 500mg of L-Carnitine.
12/6/07- DH's 2nd SAVolume: 1.5 Count 185 million Ph: 8.0 Motility: 1hr- 33% Morphology: 55%
1/6/08- DH adds 200mcg Selenium
1/31/08- Final consultation at clinic to go over tests and come up with a game plan.
Diagnosed with MFI and Dysynchronous Endometrium
2/5 First IUI cycle w/ 150mg clomid and trigger.
2/13 U/S, Cycle cancelled
rt ovary- 20mm, 18mm, 17mm, 16mm; left ovary- 16mm ~ forced TTA
3/10 Baseline U/S all clear, 50 mg clomid CD 5-9
3/17 Self-cancelling cycle, took a one month TTC break
6/08- Hoping beyond hopes to start BCP/IVF in Aug/Sept.
10/17 Miracle BFP!
7/3/09 Sebastian is born
10/4/07 - First appt. with fertility clinic
10/8/07- CD 3 bloodwork (FSH 4.7, Estradiol 30, TSH 2.15, Prolactin 9.7, and LH 6.4~ All within normal ranges.)
10/11/07- Ultrasound ~ Uterus and ovaries look good.
10/15/07- HSG ~ Tubes are clear.
10/19/07- Hysteroscopy ~ All normal
10/27/07- CD 21 Blood Test ~ Progesterone 29.8
11/8/07- DH's 1st SA Volume: 1.0 Ph: 8.5 Motility: 1hr- 14%, 2hr- 11% Count, Viscosity, Morphology: N/A due to volume.
11/30/07- Endometrial Biopsy ~ Abnormal
12/1/07- DH starts 1000mg of Vit. C, 50mg of Zinc, and 500mg of L-Carnitine.
12/6/07- DH's 2nd SAVolume: 1.5 Count 185 million Ph: 8.0 Motility: 1hr- 33% Morphology: 55%
1/6/08- DH adds 200mcg Selenium
1/31/08- Final consultation at clinic to go over tests and come up with a game plan.
Diagnosed with MFI and Dysynchronous Endometrium
2/5 First IUI cycle w/ 150mg clomid and trigger.
2/13 U/S, Cycle cancelled
rt ovary- 20mm, 18mm, 17mm, 16mm; left ovary- 16mm ~ forced TTA
3/10 Baseline U/S all clear, 50 mg clomid CD 5-9
3/17 Self-cancelling cycle, took a one month TTC break
6/08- Hoping beyond hopes to start BCP/IVF in Aug/Sept.
10/17 Miracle BFP!
7/3/09 Sebastian is born
1 comment:
I don't know why but I do know that one way or another you will all get trough this. This isn't a path anyone would chose but it is the path we are on.
(((((HUGS)))))
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