She Gave Me a Gift

Something happened today that helped my heart just a little bit.

My grandmother was from Michigan. She grew up the youngest in a large family on a farm. She moved to California with my Grandfather after the war and although she loved California, she missed certain things about Michigan and the sight of snow and cardinals were a couple of them.

When I moved here she always asked me if I saw any cardinals because she loved them so, and even though they are apparently common around here, I never did. My mom said she would also ask her if I had any reported sightings.

This afternoon I took Sebastian out into the snow for the first time. I figured it would be a fitting goodbye, being out in the snow. We made a snow angel for her and then came inside.





I looked out into our backyard and asked her to watch over us and about 30 seconds later two cardinals, a male and female, flew into our yard and onto a tree outside the window. I can't help but think it was my Grammy and Pompy, together again after all these years, showing me they we indeed watching over us.

I've Been Tagged

From JackiTiger's blog...

"The Meme originated over an idea that was prompted by the book written by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, Not Quite What I was planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. It's a compilation based on the story that Hemingway once bet $10 that he could sum up his life in six words. His were- "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."

These things are always difficult for me. Can I really sum up my life in 6 words? It's quite the challenge. After thinking about it for a while I came up with an Emily Dickinson quote which seems to summarize much of my life and currently the bane of my existence.




Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.


Hope is something that I think I've had my whole life in one way or another. I started out on the hopes of others. I wasn't supposed to make it, I wasn't expected to last the day but as my mother and family hoped I would, I made it.

As a child I hoped my life would get better, that I'd find a peace in my world and someone to love me. Abuse has a way of stealing hope but I came out on the other side stronger than I could have imagined, and just...a little bit broken.

As a teenager, I hoped I would come into myself, that my eccentricities would be valued, that my looks be appreciated. I hoped that my self confidence would blossom. Through theatre it did. With adulthood, I learned to love me, well most of the time.

I had hope through relationships and hardships that I would make it through, that I would succeed. I've accomplished both at least a little bit.

That hope is now squarely focused on being a mom. There is nothing I hope for more than having a baby. Whether that hope is realized remains to be seen but I'll try to keep the hope alive, I will indeed try.

So my meme is: Hope is the thing with feathers

I will now tag:

MayT
Adkins
Mandybr
T-Bird
AlpacaBunny