New Meanings, New Beginnings

This Sunday is Father's Day which historically is a day in which I'd rather gargle turpentine than celebrate. I believe I started calling it Non-existent Father's Day in my teens and oft wished they had Hallmark cards celebrating it or cards you could give to moms for being both mom and dad. Who knows, they probably have them now.

See, my dad was an abusive asshole, probably still is considering that he's still alive as far as I know. That day was never a time to celebrate and its arrival would always make me cry many daddy-less tears, second only to watching the father and daughter dance at a wedding (I have to leave the room for those).

However, now I can put that behind me. I can start anew with the afore dreaded Father's Day. Father's Day has new meaning for me this year.

I only have to look at my husband playing with Sebastian or hear him tell him he loves him to have that sadness wiped away. I can celebrate what my son has and what he and my husband have given me rather than what I don't have and for that I am so grateful.

I may get irritated at my husband sometimes and wish he helped me more, I may get pissed off at the whole me/him/step-daughter triangle, but he is first and foremost a great dad and boy does he love his kids.

Thank you Alex for what you have given me and for how much you love our baby. I love you and Happy Father's Day!

My Mother, My Hero

We've already established I am turning into my mother, yet sometimes things remind me that I will never be half the woman she is in certain respects.

I was truly lucky to have a mother who stayed at home with me until I was eight years old and a welcome divorce necessitated she return to work. She was a wonder mom, the type who kept a spotless house, had a home cooked dinner on the table every night, and fresh cookies in the cookie jar each week. She also was my room mom every year.

Now that I'm a stay at home mom myself I have to ask myself, do I strive to be that wonder mom? Could I even do it? I don't think I can and here's why.

I am not anyone's damn maid.

(Well, anyone other than myself and my infant son's)

Perhaps I'm just bitter. Let me clarify and say that I am thrilled I can stay home with my son. Not being able to legally work worked out for me in that aspect. I am very grateful I can watch him grow and learn every day, and spend so much time with him. Those are moments I could never give up. However, I don't understand why SAHM = maid to all.

I get it, I get that many folks think if you are a SAHM, your job is the home and you should take care of it but that means that your job is raising the kids AND taking care of the whole house. Ideally I can see that happening when Sebastian is a bit older but now, *phhhhtt*, forget it.

It's hard because sometimes Alex comes home and makes comments about food on the highchair or crumbs on the counter (not always mine)and it makes me feel like crap. I know he sometimes wonders what I do all day. I certainly don't sit on my butt and eat bon bons. Now that Sebastian is crazy mobile I literally chase him and play bodyguard ALL DAY. I can't leave him alone for a second because he'll pull up somewhere he shouldn't, be pulling books off of the shelf (having a great time while doing it), or falling over and hitting his head because he'll try to stand on his own.

He's also very clingy at the moment so most of the time I have to be right next to him or holding him. Forget peeing in peace. If I want to get anything done while he's awake I have to wear him in my Ergo.

By reading the Bump message boards you'd think my kid is an alien because unlike the two - three naps most babies his age are taking, I am lucky if Sebastian takes one, ONE! So during that one nap I have to pack all of my cleaning for the day in and try to find a few minutes for myself (like I'm doing now by writing on my blog) lest I go crazy. Plus now that it's nicer out I try to get Sebastian and I out of the house for walks or to go to the park or library a couple times a week because we both can get stir crazy stuck inside the house.

This doesn't leave much time to clean up after everyone, because that's what I am doing. Since I've started staying at home it seems I have become everyone's maid. We don't have a dishwasher so I do all dishes. I'm the only one who cleans the bathroom, the kitchen, the dinning room, the living room, or Sebastian's room. I'm the only one who vacuums, sweeps, or mops. I'm the only one who puts Sebastian's toys away, does his laundry, or organizes his room. If I didn't wash and change our sheets we'd be sleeping on the same sheets for months. It's very frustrating when there are two other adults in the house that don't help.

Now I am grateful that Alex does much of the cooking because if he didn't love it so much or do it as much, Sebastian would be living in that Ergo.

I guess my point it, how did my mom do it? How did my wonder mother not go bat shit crazy? How come women of old could do so much more than I can? Did thy hold secret resentments or did they just put up and shut up because it was "women's work" they were expected to do and love it?

We could discuss this further but Sebastian just woke up after a 30 min nap and I need to finish washing dishes, finish cleaning the bathroom, fold and put away laundry, clean the living room, get the corned beef and cabbage ready to go in the oven, prep the house for my stepdaughter's guest,.....

We All Turn Into Our Mothers in the End

We always hear as little girls that you turn into your mother. You think as a teen that it will never happen to you but then one day, perhaps in your 30's or even earlier, you realize that yes, you have turned into your mother.

The transformation first happened with my voice. Sometimes I say things in a tone or manner that sound just like my mom. The horror! Even Alex would notice it. Then it spread to word usage. I catch myself using words my mom use and some of them are super annoying. It happens mostly when I'm talking to Sebastian. Ummm "stinky poo"? I hated that stupid phrase as a kid so why the hell am I using it with my son?

Voice and words aside the worst possible thing about turning into my mother happened and I just about wanted to die.

It happened one evening as I was picking up Sebastian's toys in the living room. I bent over in front of Alex and he says, "Your butt is starting to look like your mom's".

Instant. tears.

You see, my mom has always been a stick, like seriously 110 lbs and 5'8. While that seems like an awesome thing to some, it isn't. She has NO ASS, none. It's really tragic and even she doesn't like it much.

The sad thing is...he's right. Pre-pregnancy one of the things I really liked about my body was my bigger butt and now it's disappearing. I don't get it. How can having a baby make your nice butt go away? And it has, I checked in the mirror. My once firm butt has sagged.

So yes ladies, not only is loss of butt something they don't warn you about post pregnancy, it can be yet another example of how we all turn into our mothers in "the end".

For Purple Mountains Majesty

I've almost been in Canada for six months. It'll be six months on the 15th of March and the time has flown by. I've had some thoughts about it that have really been brought to the forefront by the Olympics of all things.

Many of my Canadian friends ask if I'm torn between who I'm rooting for, or joke that I better be rooting for Canada. Initially I thought that I wasn't rooting for anyone and today I realized (or realised for my Canadian readers)that no, I can't deny it, I'm rooting for Team USA. Despite being a resident (though not permanent resident yet) of Canada I am rooting for who I am and I don't think I'll ever change.

This morning Alex, Sebastian, and I were watching the ice dancing that he had PVR'd for me. As the Canadians were presented with their gold medals and "Oh Canada" played I had a twinge of sadness, sadness that I would be raising Sebastian away from my home, his first home, out of the United States. He would never be saying the Pledge of Allegiance each morning at school or singing the Star Spangled Banner. I wanted to cry and then felt really stupid.

Because, if he wasn't being raised in Canada he would be raised in the States and wouldn't his Dad feel the same way? Probably not (Alex roots for Holland in the Olympics) but I still feel like maybe I'm being a little unfair.

Unfair and homesick. There are things I like about living here and then there are many things I love and miss about living in the States. However, this is our choice and someday this will be my new home where America the Beautiful lives on in my heart and through my son as I teach him that he is lucky boy who can wave two flags.

She Gave Me a Gift

Something happened today that helped my heart just a little bit.

My grandmother was from Michigan. She grew up the youngest in a large family on a farm. She moved to California with my Grandfather after the war and although she loved California, she missed certain things about Michigan and the sight of snow and cardinals were a couple of them.

When I moved here she always asked me if I saw any cardinals because she loved them so, and even though they are apparently common around here, I never did. My mom said she would also ask her if I had any reported sightings.

This afternoon I took Sebastian out into the snow for the first time. I figured it would be a fitting goodbye, being out in the snow. We made a snow angel for her and then came inside.





I looked out into our backyard and asked her to watch over us and about 30 seconds later two cardinals, a male and female, flew into our yard and onto a tree outside the window. I can't help but think it was my Grammy and Pompy, together again after all these years, showing me they we indeed watching over us.

I'll Love You Forever

This morning one of my biggest supporters and undoubtedly one of the most special people in my life passed away. It was a day I was dreading and a day I didn't expect, not yet anyway.

My Grammy, Evadene Brooks, died this morning after a fit of characteristic stubbornness. She had collapsed this morning and refused to go to the hospital. She died shortly thereafter. She would have wanted it that way as she always hated being in the hospital ("their food is terrible!"). When my mom called to tell me it was if a little piece of me died.

My grandma, "Grammy" named by my older cousin, was quite the matriarch, a matriarch of a family of all women. She was always so very loving towards me but also a bit of a battle-ax when it came to others. If she she didn't like something, you'd hear about it.

A majority of my childhood was spent either at her house or with my grandparents over to ours. Dinners were always a special time except for the odd meal here or there where I or my cousins would pull the ol' food in the napkin trick. She never caught on or at least never acted like she did. We spent countless hours taking walks and going to the beach to have picnics. We played in her backyard climbing trees and I loved dancing for her. When I started teaching Sunday School and working at her church nursery we would spend every Sunday together. That's a lot of dedication to cart a sleepy teenager to church every Sunday. My mom and I even lived with her for 6 months while she recovered from knee replacement surgery. Three generations of women in one house was like a battle royal. My poor mom. It was us against her for sure.

As I got older my grandmother continued to be one of my biggest supporters and I always knew I had her unfaltering love. Life has a way of keeping you busy and even though we lived 15 min from each other, I didn't get to see her as often as I would have liked. That killed me because she noticable loved us coming over. I regret we didn't put things aside and go see her more often.

Her health had been bad for quite a few years and we always thought she may not make it too much longer. Part of me knew she wanted to stick around to see me have a child. It had been a long wait. I wear an Uncommon Thread bracelet which was given to me by a friend during my infertility struggles and she was the only person to ask me what the bracelet meant. She knew we were struggling and was beyond thrilled when told her I was pregnant. Now that I think about it, it was about a year ago.

She loved Sebastian. We would go over and visit her and she would hold him for a little while until she felt she was too shakey to continue.

Saying goodbye to her for the last time, before we moved, was terrible. She kept hugging me and telling Sebastian and me that she loved us. She also gave me a Loonie that she had saved in her desk for years (why, I don't know)and gave it to me for good luck.

The last time we saw her would have been three months tomorrow. For three months she was so far away and now I'll never get to see her on this earth again. I just have to have faith that we will be together again. All of us, my beloved Grammy and my beloved Pompy.

I love you Grammy. I am glad you are no longer hurting. I hope you are enjoying a new life with Pompy and having the best food ever. You will be so very missed for the rest of my days.

Time to Lock Up the Electronics and Other Silly Sebastian Happenings

My kid is going to be one of those kids who takes apart Mommy and Daddy's DVD player and cell phones. I can see it already.

We are considering getting him a dummy remote because he love, love, loves our TV remote. He'll just stare at it and lean out of our arms to try and get it. I don't know how I feel about that.

He seems sort of bored with his toys in general, like he needs more stimulation though I don't know what that could be at 5 months (on Thursday). He can't sit up on his own yet so it's not like he can play with some sorts of toys yet.

Not that kids need tons of fancy toys anyway, right? Sunday, we had Alex's mom over for dinner and afterwards Alex, his mom, and I played Rummy Cube. Sebastian switched off from being on my lap to his dad's. At one point I was drinking out of my water bottle and he tried so hard to rip it out of my hands. Once I finished with it I let him have the bottle and he played with it for a good 45 minutes. He'd chew on it, stick the opening in his mouth like he was going to try drinking out of it, and ripping the label off. He actually got the whole label off!





Another occurrence that makes me fear for our gadgets besides how manipulative (in the motor skills way) he is, is how smart he seems to be.

He already knows how to remove my nursing pads and will do so sometimes when he wants to nurse. Last night as Alex and I sat on the couch watching House, Sebastian started trying to undo my nursing tank. He sat there staring intensely at it, making his old man working/thinking sounds of "Ehhhhhhhhhhhh". After he couldn't get the right one undone he started in on the left one. Poor little guy, he just doesn't have the fine motor skills.... yet. Heh. We just about died.

Oh and we have two teeth!

Sebastian at 11 Weeks and Moving Day

Our last few days on the Monterey Peninsula were so very busy with all of our last minute errands and trying to fit in visits with special people. Being busy was good for me because it gave me less time to think about what was happening. Luckily new adventures also helped curb the sadness and anxiety.

One of those special people was Auntie Megan. We decided to take the babies (inside and out)to some of our favorite places to eat together. I wanted to have a last meal, as it were, at The Brit and some "Sex in a Dish" at The Crown. It was kind of weird hanging out at a pub midday Saturday. We were the only chicks in the place other than the waitress (Betty). Needless to say I didn't nurse in public on this occasion.



Sebastian had a good time staring at everything, most especially Megan's food. He would just stare and drool.



We got to visit with Betty, my favorite waitress ever and say goodbye.



After lunch at The Brit we went to The Crown for dessert and had to introduce Sebastian to the Xlerator. He was not impressed but we had to take a pic for old time's sake.



The next day my mom, Sebastian, and I braved the crowds at the Monterey Bay Aquarium to go to Otter Days. It was going to be Sebastian's first visit to the Aquarium. We didn't stay long because, really, how interested and entertained can a 2 month old be by tanks of fish? He liked the Outer Bay exhibits the best and actually watched the fish and jelly fish for a bit. He got to see the Aquarium's newest Great White Shark (number 7). I was amused by how many people thought the Galapagos sharks were the Great White and would say so to all around them. Never mind that they look totally different from each other.


Sebastian admiring the fish



Monterey Bay Aquarium's Great White

After a while we knew we had hit our limit. There were way too many people around. We stopped into the gift stores to find something for Sebastian to commemorate his visit. He got an otter book, a sea otter plushie, and a shark plushie. I was wavering on which shark to get and was holding this one near him. He reached out and grabbed it so we figured he chose it for himself. His daddy wasn't thrilled with yet another stuffed animal when I told him. Later Sebastian was holding the shark in his stroller and it looked like he was kissing it. In reality I think he was tasting it.



Afterwards Sebastian and I took my mom out for her first Grandparent's day lunch. Her card made her cry.

Eventually moving day arrived. My cousin Kristin came to the airport to say goodbye and as support for my mom afterwards. I had Sebastian dressed in a onesie one of my students made for him. It was a Gerber so although it was the right size month wise, it didn't fit. So he wore it as a tee shirt.



Boarding came all too soon and I was rushed ahead in the security line making our goodbyes quick. It might have been for the best because I was already crying enough. A nice TSA woman gave me a kleenex and another, a guy, helped me through security with all of my crap.

Dealing with my shoes, jacket, moby wrap, diaper bag, car seat, stroller, laptop and bag, not to mention my 2 month old son could have been a nightmare but it went pretty easy. Everybody was so nice and helpful at Air Canada, especially when they realized I was alone.

I was worried that Sebastian would freak out and cry during the flight. Obviously the other passengers were as well. The looks of fear as we walked down the plane aisle were hilarious. It was as if there were at least three dozen brains thinking, "Please don't sit next to me, please don't sit next to me. Oh thank God they passed me."

We got an aisle seat which we requested. They left the seat in the center empty (thank goodness because I ended up needing that space for breastfeeding)and there was a quiet businessman sitting in the window seat. The dude who was sitting across the aisle from me was noticeably bummed that he was going to be sitting across from a baby. "I always sit next to the youngest person on the plane, no fail." I must brag that this was the same guy who loudly declared, "He was the best baby EVAR!" at the end of the flight. That's right, Sebastian made it through the whole flight with nary a peep. Everyone around us was so impressed. I was just grateful.

All in all the flight section of our trip was great. I have nothing but good things to say about Air Canada. The counter folks and flight attendants were so very helpful.



Then we got to customs...yeah different story. On the plane we had to fill out a declaration form. I filled it out as someone who lived in Canada with my Canadian address. This obviously was confusing and not satisfactory to the customs agent who gave me the third degree while staring me and my passport down. He freaked my shite out and grilled me for about 10 minutes. Finally he said I could go through the gates.

And then I was stopped by two other agents/guards/whatever blocking my way. Original agent must have clued them in somehow and I was told I had to go to the immigration office.

Oh My God!

I could have dropped dead of a heart attack right then. I just wheeled Sebastian, in the stroller, down the hall to the office saying, "Mommy screwed up". I totally thought I was going to get deported. Luckily the next agent was super nice. He understood what was going on, approved my paperwork saying I could bring Sebastian in the country, and stamped a visa in my passport. He said he wouldn't stamp the little boy's because he was Canadian. He wished me good luck with my permanent residence paperwork and sent us on our way. One difficulty down, one to go.

Take it from me Toronto aiport sucks beans. I had never seen an airport that did not allow outside people into the baggage area. What the hell? Here I am, all alone with a baby, immigrating with three gigantor suitcases, two carry ons, a stroller, and a car seat. Uhhhh yeah. So I quickly got one of those roller carts (thanking myself for saving some Canadian currancy from our last visit) and after putting Sebastian into the Moby, loaded all of it onto the cart like a giant tower worthy of the Duggars. That Moby saved my life, for serious. I wouldn't have been able to make it without it. Off we went through the sliding doors to see Alex waiting for us and waiting for us to start our new life.

Oh Canada!

Sebastian at Ten Weeks

Another busy week at Gramma's full of activities and goodbyes.

On Labor Day we were extremely lucky to have lunch with Mel, who came up from LA to visit her mom. Sebastian took to her which I expected him to do. Seeing Mel with him was awesome and I was amazed at what a natural she was with him.

Oh yeah, I got a haircut

We had a great lunch at Tillie's for old times sake. I shall miss the Jive Turkey for no matter how he tries, Alex can't get it just right when he makes them at home.

Sebastian had a female admirer at Tillie's in young miss Alexi who was sitting a table away. At three she kept commenting how he couldn't talk yet, but he could wear her dress if he wanted. Uh oh, chicks are already wanting to take off their dresses for him. LOL To be fair it was a very cute dress.

Wednesday my mom took us to lunch at Nepenthe in Big Sur. It was another one of my last things I needed to do before I left. I love their Ambrosia burgers so much so we went to get one. It was basically another photo op with Sebastian and luckily it was a beautiful day. Sad to think that we won't see this view for a year. I think it I took it all for granted for way too long.



*Warning poop mentioned*This week was the week of the blowout. When a baby goes a whole day without pooping you know there is going to be hell to pay somewhere down the road, and oh yes, did we get it, all up the back and out the legs. Then he decided to pee on my mom before pooping yet again, sans diaper. After I ran around and got all the supplies and new clothes together he decided to pee again, but only hit himself. You just had to laugh at the whole thing. Sebastian laughed, himself. I almost took a picture for posterity and to show Alex but refrained. Man, it was bad. And wouldn't you know, a few hours later in McDonald's it happened again. This time he got himself and me with the blowout. Luckily I caught it before standing up at the register.

Sebastian also has had blowouts of the milk variety a few times causing him to be bathed a lot. He didn't seem to mind that so much.

On Friday, Sebastian and I celebrated an early grandparent's day, taking my mom and grandma to lunch at my grandmother's favorite Mexican restaurant. It's so hard for my Grammy to get around now and I am glad she let us take her out. Sebastian and Grammy happened to match so I got some shots of them and a couple of me and Sebastian. He was all about the duckies that day.



We were about to leave when my mom realized her car wouldn't start. A call was made to AAA and we waited. Have I ever mentioned that Sebastian doesn't wait very well in the car? He hates his car seat anyway and a stopped car with the car seat is a deadly combo. Of course I was sitting nursing when the tow truck rolls up. Long story short, the car had to be towed and my mom and I need to walk ourselves back to her place (same town)with the baby in the stroller. Out of the car comes all of the baby stuff and I notice that, once again, we have a blow out.

Thankfully, we are just outside my grandmother's residence so I trudge upstairs to her room to change the messy little boy, passing through a room of elderly folks celebrating September birthdays. I felt like a heel rushing through as I heard countless squeals of, "Oooh a baaaby!" but I had a diaper disaster to avert. My grandmother explained to me that babies were the best thing for these folks to see. I continued to feel like a heel as I rushed back through the room to meet my mom outside. I did stop a second to make Sebastian wave to the sweet old ladies who again squealed in his presence. Honestly, it made me sad.

Eventually we got home to my mom's, all in one piece and poop free.

More random Sebastian cuteness of the week.

Sebastian at Six Weeks and the Day We Went to Pixar

First things first, moving is so not cool with an infant, especially one that needs to be held all time. My mom has been a doll coming over to help but I have to stop and breastfeed Sebastian every hour and a half or so it's difficult. They've been able to spend some good time together though and for that I'm grateful.

They went for a walk using the Moby.



They read stories.



They shared lots of smiles. Sebastian seems to think Gramma is the silliest and smiles for her the most.



My mom is going to have an emotional breakdown when we leave for sure.

Unfortunately, packing is going uber slow and I'm freaked out that I only have 9 days to finish. I have so much crap, I don't know how it'll get done, nor do I know how it'll all fit in the U-haul.

Also, in other moving news, Alex is doing well on the job front. He has three interviews and four separate companies are highly interested in him and loved his resume. We also have a townhouse rental unless we find something we like better. Contracts will remain unsigned until Alex gets there.

The best part of our week happened on Tuesday when our family went to Pixar Studios. It all happened because we are huge ass nerds who loved Wall-E so much we got I heart Wall-E vanity plates.



Some dude followed Alex home one afternoon because he saw these plates. Turns out he works for Pixar and wanted to ask if he could take a picture of said plates and send it to his boss. His boss turned out to be Andrew Stanton who directed Wall-E, Finding Nemo, and A Bugs Life. He also wrote most of Pixar's films. Stanton went nuts for the license plate and, long story short, we were invited to Pixar.


The entry gates


Luxo, Jr. and the ball at the front of the main building. These are huge.

Now, I didn't take many pictures, sadly. Most areas I was not allowed to and the rest of the time I was breastfeeding Sebastian. Oh yes, even in Pixar.

For more pics than mine and of places I mention in this post check out:

Rotten Tomatoes Tours Pixar

Anyway we check in and are able to first tour the main lobby which is like an atrium. It's huge and light and airy. It was built by Steve Jobs who apparently was anal enough to have one brick wall demolished two times before it was good enough. He also had each bolt hand riveted rather than machine riveted. That's pretty nifty.

They have a cafe, a cereal bar where everything is free, a shop, and a mail room. There were various Pixar figures, lifesize and larger, around the lobby. Some employees were getting around on skateboards and these crazy mini skateboard things that were only big enough for one foot each and each with only two wheels.

We weren't able to go into the theater or screening rooms because all were occupied. As we were standing there the director of Toy Story 3 came out of one with all of his animators. That was pretty cool.

Like I said, much of the areas were closed off to us, like the head honcho's offices. We were told they used to use these garden sheds (like they sell at Orchard Supply)to store supplies but now they use them as office cubicles. At the link I posted you can see a picture of one of them.

Next we saw where some of the sound was recorded, though most is done at Lucas's Skywalker Ranch. On the wall were the signatures of people who had recorded there. Often employees get picked to be voice extras which is pretty neat. My favorite was the huge scrawl of the little boy who voiced Nemo.

Then we were able to go upstairs and check out the gallery. They always have concept art up for the current film which was UP. I felt bad saying I hadn't seen it yet but, shoot, I was busy having a baby. The concept art was crazy amazing. There were models and sculptures, and plenty of paintings and sketches. I loved the concept drawings of the scouts badges. Who wouldn't want to earn a badge for "sushi eating" and "money grubbing"? Hidden in different places were stickers of the badges that child visitors could find. They must have done the same for Ratatouille because sketches of rats were here and there in random places.



After seeing the gym, the pool, and the beach volleyball court, we headed down another hall to the "Renderfarm". This huge room was filled to the brim with lit up computer banks. I thought Alex was going to pee himself. Right at the front of the room was an original Pixar computer. Turns out they had to buy that one back on Ebay for a hell of a lot more than it was in the first place. Funny.

Throughout the building and in the offices we saw, there were tons of funny signs, jokes (a foot coming out from under one of the Renderfarm racks for example), and toys and more toys. I could not believe how many trinkets and toys there were. Some people even had couches and chandeliers in their offices. It really made for a fun and creative atmosphere.

Before we left we were given a bag of swag that Andrew Stanton left for us (He was filming in Utah). Kick ass. He gave us some Wall-E toys, notebooks, jackets, an art book printed especially for Academy members that was to persuade them to vote for Wall-E in the Academy Awards, and The Art of Wall-E book that he autographed.


Notice what he drew in Wall-E's hands

It was a pretty awesome day. I was glad Sebastian got to be a part of it even if he never will remember it. We have his Pixar visitor name tag to put into his baby book along with this picture he and I took next to Sully, who was very soft and furry.




In other Sebastian news, he's been smiling a lot more and each smile melts our hearts, making us gush and goo. We also have an approximate weight for him. I say approximate because since his next pedi appointment isn't until September 3, I had to try to get a weight at my 6 week postpartum appointment. I had them take my weight first (8lbs to go) and then take it again with me holding him. He weighs approximately 13 pounds! This figures seeing how he has grown out of his infant cloth diapers and out of his size one overnight disposables. He is fully in 0-3 clothes and who knows if some of those will last much longer.

Another highlight of our week was a fabulous Greek dinner with great friends. It was a goodbye of sorts, certainly the last time we'll be together until next August when Alicia and Ken get married. That thought made me cry. Sebastian was unhappy too bu mainly because he had been in the car most of the day driving back and forth to Santa Cruz for my appointment, driving back and forth from San Jose to go wedding dress shopping with Alicia before she heads back to Kiev, and then to the restaurant. He was a little trooper though.



Additional Sebastian cuteness of the week.


Couch nap with mama




Big smiles


Hanging out with Eve at David's Bridal right before he had a colossal blow out on Eve and the David's Bridal couch

Baptism and Reaching a Month Old

Sunday was Sebastian's baptism day. Sadly the night before was a terrible one. He was up until 2am crying. We tried everything and I ended up swaddling him to get him to calm down. Actually, following The Happiest Baby on the Block's 5 S's worked. Needless to say we were sleepy on Sunday.

The baptism went great and was very special. Sebastian pretty much slept through the whole thing though he did nurse once during the service. He didn't even seem to mind the water being poured on his head. A little girl also being baptised screamed through the whole thing. Her parents looked mortified.

My fantastic, picture crazy cousin Kristin took pictures for us and was quite the paparazzi.


Nursing power! Proof I will feed my son anywhere






Me with my mom (Sebastian's Godmother)and Deacon Nick who performed the baptism.

Afterward we had cake and coffee at my grandmother's home. It was a nice time to spend with family.


My cousin Kristin's kids, Hunter and Taylor with Sebastian


My small family minus one cousin and her two kids


Partying is hard work

It was a great day and I was excited to bring my son into the Church. I am really grateful that Alex okayed it even though he is a stalwart atheist. He knew how important it was to me and was supportive of it from afar. My mom was also thrilled to pieces to be godmother and I couldn't have picked a better one. We were the lone Catholics in my family and sometimes it was hard being the only ones. My mom was the biggest supporter of my faith journey and I'm happy she can do that for my son.

Today was Sebastian's first month birthday and I wanted to commemorate it with pics. I've decided to get pics taken each month and will have month one and two taken at JCPenneys. There are no JCP in Canada so I'll have to find a different photo studio once we are there.

The pictures turned out pretty good for studio portraits. Our photographer has been working at that JCP for 25 years so she obviously has some skill. They do go crazy on the up sell but I'm not into all the fancy stuff so I got out of there spending less than $100. Poor Sebastian, he had a hard time though. He woke up early and was hungry which equals cranky. With those shoots you have only ten minutes so I couldn't stop to feed him. We made it through though.