Children are a Work of ART

At least if I'm to have any, mine most likely will be, and by ART I mean Assisted Reproductive Technology.

I had my endometrial biopsy on Friday, since I had another failed cycle, and had arranged to take the rest of the afternoon off from work. I'm so glad I did because not only did it hurt like a bitch but I spent a good hour crying in the car with my mom.

I received some news that was something I didn't expect to hear. I expected that I would be the one with problems (I still may, I haven't gotten my biopsy results back yet) but it turned out it was Alex. His first SA was so bad they couldn't even complete all the tests.

It looks like he will be diagnosed with Severe MFI. According to my specialist, that means our only hope for a baby will be IVF with ICSI.

What? A test tube baby? Why God, why? I have never had anything easy in my life, never, and that news just felt like a slap in the face. I tried to hold it together in the office and ended up losing it in the car.

So now what? Alex has another SA on Tuesday and I'm praying that it be better, just 30% better so we could have the option of IUI. I don't know how we'll be able to afford IVF. I don't have $10,000+ lying around. We don't have credit and my insurance doesn't cover any infertility (a big FUCK YOU to the Catholic Church and their idea that IVF and other fertility treatments are degrading).

I am so, so sad. We need prayers right now, Alex for Tuesday (we don't have to tell Alex we are praying for him) and me for the strength to deal with it all. I'll take good, healing vibes too.

They Speak the Truth

I wanted to share two videos that really have touched me.

My Aunt Jane Knows More Than my RE

I seriously have had people say all of this crap to me already!


I Would Die For That

I cry every time I watch this and no, it's not because it's a country song. Make sure you have Kleenex handy.

Cycle 8

I'm a lame person. I have been entrenched in misery and so as to spare you all, have kept to myself. Probably not a good move but no one likes a downer.


Anyway, I should probably fill you all in on me these past couple months. The beginning of this post is a rant, or brain dump as I call them, I wrote about a month and a half ago. Read at your own risk.


******************************


Warning: If you are a guy you probably don't want to read this. If you get easily skeeved out by body fluids you don't want to read this. If you don't want to listen to me whine, well, there's the "back" button...


I'm turning into a Bitter Betty. My last few months have been children obsessed. I'm not even talking about my 5th graders. Ugh I try to forget them as much as possible (at least the 4 kids that make every day a living hell). I'm talking about making a child obsession.


For the past 6 months my life has been TTC hell and frankly I'm tired of it and it's making me bitter.


Honestly I think HS health teachers are friggen liars! "Oh don't have unprotected sex, you'll get pregnant! Don't pull out, she'll get pregnant. Don't let him breathe on you, you'll get pregnant." Bullshit! How can two people have so much unprotected sex and not get knocked up? Every other day and then some people.


I am tired. I am tired of all the charting, taking my temp before my eyes even open and analyzing it every freaking day. I'm tired of fingering myself multiple times a day to check for...wait for it...cervical mucus. Poor Alex knows more about CM than any man should. I'm tired on peeing on stick to see if I'm ovulating and two weeks later peeing on sticks, hoping to see two lines and only ever getting one.


I'm tired of the PNVs, soy isoflaves, Omega 369, cranberry, green tea, magnesium, grapefruit juice, and baby carrots. I'm tired of all the psychosomatic symptoms and weird twinges. I'm tired of hoping every month to only have those hopes dashed on a negative pee stick or seeing spotting. And the sad thing is no matter how tired I am of it all I'll keep doing it until we reach our goal.


I know it's only been six months (we "officially" started in June but were not preventing from April on) but six months more will surely drive me batshit insane or make me incredibly depressed. If I hear, "just relax, it'll happen" one more time I'm going to punch that person in the face. Relaxing doesn't get you knocked up. We tried that anyway. I'm freaking 35 1/2. I don't have time to "relax". I already feel like I've deprived my future child of time with my mom or, God forbid, my Grammy. This breaks my heart. Obviously many women have babies later but I never thought I'd be childless at 35, never.


To make matters worse, pregnant people are everywhere. My friends, co-workers, old ex-friends (with twins for christsake!) are all knocked up. I ride the bus home and pregnant women or women with newborns just have to sit next to me out of all the seats they could choose. I hate being bitter and angry that I'm not one of them, but I am. It makes me feel so, so sad. So here I am admitting my green eyed monster and my fear that it'll never be me.


So where do we go from here? We keep trying.I keep temping. I keep praying for two lines and a "sticky bean". We endure sex with cups, ultrasounds, and bloodtests, hoping we are ok, that I'm ok. That's its just me that is tired and not my eggs.


*****************************


So that was a little over a month and a half and another BFN ago. I'm now on cycle 8. We have started fertility testing with a specialist. I have endured being poked by needles and having various liquids and devices shoved up my cervix (Boo to balloons and dye) and insurance not covering any of it. Oh yeah, the Catholic Church doesn't like fertility treatments. They think it's "degrading to the baby". Luckily everything is normal so far. Now we are just waiting on Alex's boys' results and lucky me gets to have a uterine biopsy and possible LAP. Oh joy!


I'm just really hoping that we get pregnant soon. My hope for a summer baby is gone and now I'll just take one whenever.


Of course that's just the half of it. My life is pretty much crap due to one student in particular but I'll save that rant for another time.

I Fear for Our Future

Bwahahahahaha.

Stay in school y'all!

Stupid Family Drama

I don't know why the only time Alex and I fight is when the kids are here. Things have been great the past three months. A couple days with both of them here and he becomes a screaming ass.

I shouldn't really call it a fight because really it's just Alex being pissed. Apparently Bethia is sooooo sad because she couldn't see her new boyfriend. He lives in Gilroy and she wanted to go see him and stay overnight at his house and come home the next day on the bus. Supposedly the bus schedule doesn't work for her to go visit. Alex said he'd have to meet this dude's parents first before she could. Well she cried her eyes out.

Then he freaking caved and said *I* could meet the mom when they came to pick Bethia up and see if she's ok. I gave him a look to say, "why the hell did you cave?" and he freaks out on me. He goes, "What's that look for?". I said how I didn't approve but that it wasn't my choice. He already knew how I felt about her going to Gilroy to stay at her bf's house but he still kept pressing me on why I made a face. So then he got all mad saying he'd come home from work then and when I went into his office to talk to him he screamed at me to get the fuck out. I of course wouldn't until he asked me in a calm manner. That resulted in him calling me a bitch and leaving the house.

Fucking nice. We were fine, great, and then shit hits the fan. I'm tired of it. The kids are fucking drama. I'm sorry that I don't find that appropriate. I know what can happen even under parent's noses. Just because Alex was sleeping around at 14 doesn't make it ok in my eyes to even give Bethia the opportunity. I also don't appreciate that he called me a bitch in front of the kids. That's inexcuseable.

I'm pissed and I'm doubly pissed that I don't get to explain my feelings because he gets mad and storms off.

Rest in Peace, Dear Hearts

This week has just been too hard. Two loses.

I just found out Jerry Gill passed away yesterday from liver cancer. Very few people even knew he was sick. The family wanted it that way I was told. This just breaks my heart.

Jerry was really the first director who truly believed in me and gave me a chance. I didn't look the part of Honey in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf but he cast me out a whole room full of great women due to my talent. Because of that role, doors really opened to me. I will forever be grateful.

I'll never forget the "Freaky Fridays", my 2 year stint of hanging with "GillStone", and the love and support I received from him. He will truly be missed.

I also lost my sweet baby Daisy on Wednesday night. I'll write more about that later. I just can't deal with any more death at the moment.

Loneliness is a Bitch

At risk of sounding like an AW loser I just have to say that I am so damn lonely. Alex has been gone for over a week and it looks like he will be gone for all of next week too. I'm just rattling around in this apartment by myself with no desire to do much of anything but sleep and cry every now and again. I have spent some time with my mom which is nice but it doesn't help the aching loneliness go away. It seems everyone is too busy as well which doesn't help. It's always better for him to be out of town when I'm working because I at least have something to occupy my time and Bethia to talk to.

I need some cheese to go with my whine.

Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please!

Obama launches 2008 White House bid

By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer 49 minutes ago

Sen. Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) launched a presidential campaign Tuesday that would make him the first black to occupy the White House, and immediately tried to turn his political inexperience into an asset with voters seeking change.

The freshman Illinois senator — and top contender for the Democratic nomination — said the past six years have left the country in a precarious place and he promoted himself as the standard-bearer for a new kind of politics.

"Our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, commonsense way," Obama said in a video posted on his Web site. "Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can't tackle the big problems that demand solutions. And that's what we have to change first."

Obama filed paperwork forming a presidential exploratory committee that allows him to raise money and put together a campaign structure. He is expected to announce a full-fledged candidacy on Feb. 10 in Springfield, Ill., where he can tout his experience in the state legislature and tap into the legacy of hometown hero Abraham Lincoln.

In a brief interview on Capitol Hill, Obama said the reaction has been positive and added, "we wouldn't have gone forward this far if it hadn't been this positive."

Obama's soft-spoken appeal on the stump, his unique background, his opposition to the Iraq war and his fresh face set him apart in a competitive race that also is expected to include front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York.

Obama has uncommon political talents, drawing adoring crowds even among the studious voters in New Hampshire during a much-hyped visit there last month. His star has risen on the force of his personality and message of hope — helped along by celebrity endorsements from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, billionaire investor Warren Buffett and actors Matt Damon and Edward Norton.

"I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position a year ago," said Obama, who added that as he talked to Americans about a possible presidential campaign, "I've been struck by how hungry we all are for a different kind of politics."

The 45-year-old has few accomplishments on the national stage after serving little more than two years in the Senate. But at a time when many voters say they are unhappy with the direction of the country, a lack of experience in the nation's capital may not be a liability.

"The decisions that have been made in Washington these past six years, and the problems that have been ignored, have put our country in a precarious place," Obama said.

He said people are struggling financially, dependence on foreign oil threatens the environment and national security and "we're still mired in a tragic and costly war that should have never been waged."

Clinton is expected to announce her presidential campaign within days, but her spokesman said there would be no comment on Obama's decision from the Clinton camp. Back from Iraq, she abruptly canceled a Capitol Hill news conference minutes after word of Obama's announcement, citing the unavailability of a New York congressman to participate.

Other Democrats who have announced a campaign or exploratory committee are 2004 vice presidential nominee John Edwards, former Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack, Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd and Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich. Sens. John Kerry of Massachusetts and Joe Biden of Delaware and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson also are considering a run.

Obama's decision was relatively low-key after months of hype, with no speech or media appearance to accompany his online announcement. He said he will discuss a presidential campaign with people around the country before his Feb. 10 event, and he wasted no time calling key activists Tuesday.

New Hampshire lobbyist Jim Demers talked with Obama for about five minutes. "He is extremely pumped and excited that this campaign is coming together," said Demers, who accompanied Obama on his visit to the state last month.

Obama's quick rise to national prominence began with his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and his election to the Senate that year. He's written two best-selling autobiographies — "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream" and "Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance."

Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, where his parents met while studying at the University of Hawaii. His father was black and from Kenya; his mother, white and from Wichita, Kan.

Obama's parents divorced when he was two and his father returned to Kenya. His mother later married an Indonesian student and the family moved to Jakarta. Obama returned to Hawaii when he was 10 to live with his maternal grandparents.

He graduated from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where he was the first African-American elected editor of the Harvard Law Review. Obama settled in Chicago, where he joined a law firm, helped local churches establish job training programs and met his future wife, Michelle Robinson. They have two daughters, Malia and Sasha.

In 1996, he was elected to the Illinois state Senate, where he earned a reputation as a consensus-building Democrat who was strongly liberal on social and economic issues, backing gay rights, abortion rights, gun control, universal health care and tax breaks for the poor.

The retirement of Republican Sen. Peter Fitzgerald of Illinois in 2004 drew a raft of candidates to the Democratic primary, but Obama easily outdistanced his competitors. He was virtually assured of victory in the general election when the designated Republican candidate was forced from the race by scandal late in the election.

Obama insisted during the 2004 campaign and through his first year in the Senate that he had no intention of running for president, but by late 2006 his public statements had begun to leave open that possibility.

School's Out for Summer....

Hallelujah!

That is all.

"I Need to get my Drink On"

You have got to watch this.

Snip, Snip

Yeah I've been lagging on posting the reception pics but I *did* get my hair chopped off. Rayla cut off about a foot. I haven't had my hair this short since I started at MPC. Yeah...short. I like it so far though and it was good to get rid of all the unhealthy crap.

Though as Catherine in Proof would say, "It's dead. Hair is dead tissue you can't make it healthy". Either way 'tis gone. I'll have to take some pictures at dinner tomorrow.

Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady ~ Ceremony

Saturday leading up to the wedding was crazy busy. Alex's family was in town as well as his best man James and his girlfriend Talieh. Alex decided we should have everyone over for breakfast. Not the best idea in my opinion but hey he wanted to do it. It was pouring outside and we had to decided what to do to show his family around. Because of the weather we decided the Aquarium. Yeah, no. Crazy Saturday crowds and even crazier parking angst caused us to just walk around Cannery Row for a few hours. Alex had stayed behind so he could finish some wedding stuff so I showed his family around. His sisters and the one brother in law who was able to make it were awesome. I'm really glad to be a part of their family and my mother is even more thrilled.

After that we headed to Gianni's for pizza with everyone. That was some more craziness. I thought this one couple was going to shank me for trying to organize a seating area for everyone next to them. Luckily we were situated about 45 minutes later. Other than Bethia throwing assinine teenage angst towards her dad the night was great. So many wonderful people were there. Many of my out of town friends got to meet each other.

Two of my lovelies stayed with me at the hotel (OMG loved the Hotel Pacific!). Mel, Cath and I had a blast even with getting kicked out of the hot tub at 10pm. Who locks a dang hot tub? Spending time with them bonding over champagne and relationship talk was seriously a highlight. I miss both of them alot. Mel in particular was a wedding rockstar with all the help she gave me the next morning. Maybe I should call her Mel Stewert since she totally doctored my chandelier candles after I broke one.She was also right there with the coffee and food trying to get me to eat.

As I was getting beautified at the salon more of my favorite people showed up to hang out and sip oh so fancy champagne in a can. LOL I felt bad for my hair stylist. I changed things on her and then made her take it out half way through and restart. The resulting hair was a-fucking-amazing though so both she and I were happy with the change. I also threw a color change on the makeup artist but that too turned out better than my trial. Even Alex kept saying (to random people) my makeup was beautiful and that was rare for someone who usually hates me in makeup.

Other people who were rock stars our wedding day were our officiant and our photographer. Our officiant, Fr. Robert was out there on a ladder hanging lanterns. He put my veil on and he tried to help me hitch my dress up when my corset kept sticking out. I know that sounds weird but believe me it was just kick ass. Shannon, my photographer, was awesome because she was game for anything we wanted to do (yeah artsy shots) and I am dying to see my pro pics. She even took some boudoir type shots before I put my dress on. I was so stoked for that because I wanted to get some done anyway.

What was also awesome was our friends who stayed to help us tear everything down. That meant more to Alex and I than anybody could realize.It was a stressful bitch and I hated having to do it rather than party and hang out with my friends but what can you do?

Most things turned out pretty well. My bouquet kicked so much ass I too it to Santa Barbara with me. My dress was the most gorgeous thing ever and I'm so depressed at the thought of not wearing (or sleeping it it) again. Of course some things were totally jacked like the damn wind that ruined everything including my hair, the centerpieces, and guestbook table. I was super upset when I didn't have music to walk down the aisle to. (I felt so bad for Tim because it wasn't his fault). I almost cried but just sucked it up and walked anyway. It sucked that it was so amazingly cold and that lots of people left early. But what can you do. You can't control the weather and I just had to let stuff go. I think people still had a good time regardless.

Alex always used to say why get married. it's just a piece of paper. The best thing about the day was Alex's look on his face after we were married and him saying to me, "This feels so different, it feels so much better". That kicks ass.

The following are some pics taken by my brother in law Dwayne. I'm still waiting on my pro pics and pics from any other kind person who wants to send some my way. *hint, hint, Amber, Alicia, and Heather* I have a couple hundred right now so obviously I'm only posting a tiny fraction.

Alex and Fr. Robert

Pretty maids in a row

Painting the daruma doll. We both were painting it but I'm not in the pic. It's a great picture of Bethia.

This my, "Yay they're married, now where are my grandbabies?" picture of my lovely mom.

I love his face in this picture. Awww.

Well, I'll try to post some reception pictures tomorrow. I'm pooped.

Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady Part 2

So then there was bachelorette #2. Lovely ladies, Alicia and Jenn took me out to dinner and then out for a night of drinking and playing "That Guy". I was kicking myself for not bringing it on the cruise so we had to play it out on Alvarado.

We had a blast and had many Irish Car Bombs...ok Alicia and I did ;)

Such a cute pic, wish it wasn't blurry.

A sign of things to come perhaps?

Blurry action pic of Cameron as "Perfect Guy".

Jen Sercia and "Grind Guy"

Jen looks hot, I look silly.

The next day they both took me to lunch and for a massage at the Monterey Plaza Hotel. I really needed that. Thank you so much for everything ladies! It was another great weekend.

Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady Part 1

Our wedding day has come and gone and what a day, and time leading up to it, it was.

Wedding festivities started with Ms. evil Ambolina trying to sneaky and taking me on a surprise bachelorette cruise to Mexico. The paranoid over planner I am I had it figured out down to the ship we were on but kudos to her for keeping it from me and enlisting others to do the same.

We had a great time but man it was crazy. Some random cruise thoughts...

- Carnival Cruises are filled with drunk crazies.

- Amber and I are cursed. Loud idots will follow us wherever we are in order to wake us up at some god awful hour.

- Mountain biking in Mexico with no shade, not a good idea.

- "That girl" is freakin' hilarious. That girl face planted in the middle of the bar would have been funnier.

- Coffee!!!!!!!

- Cruise ship shows are sooooo bad. Why must they stick the bigger girl in a horrible, skimpy flapper outfit and make the guys carry her around over their heads?

- People would rather drown than listen to lifeboat instructions.

- Where's my $500 piece of art?

- Destino was kick ass.

- Mexico, or at least Ensinada was extremely depressing. The poverty was heartbreaking. I couldn't believe the amount of liquor ads on all the buildings.

- That drunk chick in the stairwell, she "rides John Deeres". Yep "she has a boyfriend named John and she riiiiides him". LOL

- Carnival Cruises are no place for children.

- Comedians are likely to cause a riot or at least some bitches pulling hair.

- Leopard bar = hotness.

Yeah good times! The amount of food they threw at you on the ship was crazy. It's like they wanted you to walk off the boat drunk and 50lbs heavier. It was certainly an adventure and I'm so grateful to Amber for doing all that for me. I have very few pics because Amber took them and hasn't sent them yet

*stares at Amber until she send me some pics*

Lifejackets are cool.

Gaze at the superfro! This was a white woman people!!!

So cool casino slots I NEVER got to play. People were always on it :( I don't blame them though. How could you not play something that cute and bright, not to mentioned named Lucky Lemmings?!

Sporty Ambo she's like a spicegirl, only better.

I love people who don't read. I photoshopped the pic a bit so you can read and revel in the great parenting. I count four kids in the pic but there were actually five in there.

Now We've Just Got to Win

Sen. Obama launches White House bid

By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer 40 minutes ago

Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) announced his bid for president Saturday, a black man evoking Abraham Lincoln's ability to unite a nation and a Democrat portraying himself as a fresh face capable of leading a new generation.

"Let us transform this nation," he told thousands shivering in the cold at the campaign's kickoff.

Obama, 45, is the youngest candidate in the Democrats' 2008 primary field dominated by front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and filled with more experienced lawmakers. In an address from the state capital where he began his elective career 10 years ago, the first-term U.S. senator sought to distinguish himself as a staunch opponent of the Iraq war and a White House hopeful whose lack of political experience is an asset.

"I know I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of Washington. But I've been there long enough to know that the ways of Washington must change," Obama said to some of the loudest applause of his 20-minute speech.

Obama is looking to cap his remarkable, rapid rise to prominence with the biggest political prize of all — the presidency. His elective career began just 10 years ago in the Illinois Legislature. He lost a bid for a U.S. House seat, then won the Senate seat in 2004, a relatively smooth election made easier by GOP stumbles.

In his speech, Obama did not mention his roots as the son of a man from Kenya and a woman from Kansas, his childhood in Hawaii and Indonesia or the history he would make if elected. That compelling biography has turned him into a political celebrity.

Instead, he focused on his life in Illinois over the past two decades, beginning with a job as a community organizer with a $13,000-a-year salary that strengthened his Christian faith. He said the struggles he saw people face inspired him to get a law degree and run for the Legislature, where he served eight years.

He tied his announcement to the legacy of Lincoln, announcing from the building where the future 16th president served in the state Legislature.

"We can build a more hopeful America. And that is why, in the shadow of the Old State Capitol, where Lincoln once called on a house divided to stand together, where common hopes and common dreams still live, I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America," Obama said. His voice rose to a shout as he spoke over the cheers from thousands who braved temperatures in the teens.

"I know it's a little chilly, but I'm fired up," Obama said as he took the podium with his wife Michelle and daughters Malia, 8, and Sasha, 5, with U2's "City of Blinding Lights" blaring on the speakers.

Local authorities estimated the crowd at between 15,000 and 17,000.

Obama gained national recognition with the publication of two best-selling books, "Dreams From My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope," and by delivering the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 — the same year he was elected to the Senate. His optimistic message and personal story immediately sparked talk of his White House potential.

"He's young and he's fresh," said 22-year-old Rachel Holtz, a graduate student from DeKalb, Ill., who plans to work in education.

Brenda and Michael Talkington, who live near Muncie, Ind., said they have never been involved in a political campaign, but both were laid off from jobs with a lighting company and plan to volunteer for Obama.

"He makes you feel like it is possible to change things," Brenda Talkington said.

She seemed to be reading from Obama's playbook.

He spoke of reshaping the economy for the digital age, investing in education, protecting employee benefits, insuring those who do not have health care, ending poverty, weaning America from foreign oil and fighting terrorism while rebuilding global alliances. But he said the first priority must be to end the war in Iraq.

"It's time to admit that no amount of American lives can resolve the political disagreement that lies at the heart of someone else's civil war," he said. He noted that he was against the invasion from the start.

Obama talked how previous generations have brought change — fighting off colonizers, slavery and the Great Depression, welcoming immigrants, building railroads and landing a man on the moon.

"Each and every time, a new generation has risen up and done what's needed to be done," he said. "Today we are called once more — and it is time for our generation to answer that call."

The Old State Capitol was where Lincoln launched his unsuccessful 1858 U.S. Senate campaign against Stephen Douglas with his famous "House Divided" speech. During his presidential campaign in 1860, Lincoln used rooms in the second floor as his political headquarters, and his body lay in state there in 1865.

Obama said it is because of Lincoln that Americans of every race face the challenges of the 21st century together.

"The life of a tall, gangly, self-made Springfield lawyer tells us that a different future is possible," Obama said. "He tells us that there is power in words. He tells us that there is power in conviction. That beneath all the differences of race and region, faith and station, we are one people. He tells us that there is power in hope."

Obama planned to travel throughout Iowa on Saturday and Sunday before a homecoming rally Sunday night in Chicago.

By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer 40 minutes ago

Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) announced his bid for president Saturday, a black man evoking Abraham Lincoln's ability to unite a nation and a Democrat portraying himself as a fresh face capable of leading a new generation.

"Let us transform this nation," he told thousands shivering in the cold at the campaign's kickoff.

Obama, 45, is the youngest candidate in the Democrats' 2008 primary field dominated by front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and filled with more experienced lawmakers. In an address from the state capital where he began his elective career 10 years ago, the first-term U.S. senator sought to distinguish himself as a staunch opponent of the Iraq war and a White House hopeful whose lack of political experience is an asset.

"I know I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of Washington. But I've been there long enough to know that the ways of Washington must change," Obama said to some of the loudest applause of his 20-minute speech.

Obama is looking to cap his remarkable, rapid rise to prominence with the biggest political prize of all — the presidency. His elective career began just 10 years ago in the Illinois Legislature. He lost a bid for a U.S. House seat, then won the Senate seat in 2004, a relatively smooth election made easier by GOP stumbles.

In his speech, Obama did not mention his roots as the son of a man from Kenya and a woman from Kansas, his childhood in Hawaii and Indonesia or the history he would make if elected. That compelling biography has turned him into a political celebrity.

Instead, he focused on his life in Illinois over the past two decades, beginning with a job as a community organizer with a $13,000-a-year salary that strengthened his Christian faith. He said the struggles he saw people face inspired him to get a law degree and run for the Legislature, where he served eight years.

He tied his announcement to the legacy of Lincoln, announcing from the building where the future 16th president served in the state Legislature.

"We can build a more hopeful America. And that is why, in the shadow of the Old State Capitol, where Lincoln once called on a house divided to stand together, where common hopes and common dreams still live, I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America," Obama said. His voice rose to a shout as he spoke over the cheers from thousands who braved temperatures in the teens.

"I know it's a little chilly, but I'm fired up," Obama said as he took the podium with his wife Michelle and daughters Malia, 8, and Sasha, 5, with U2's "City of Blinding Lights" blaring on the speakers.

Local authorities estimated the crowd at between 15,000 and 17,000.

Obama gained national recognition with the publication of two best-selling books, "Dreams From My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope," and by delivering the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 — the same year he was elected to the Senate. His optimistic message and personal story immediately sparked talk of his White House potential.

"He's young and he's fresh," said 22-year-old Rachel Holtz, a graduate student from DeKalb, Ill., who plans to work in education.

Brenda and Michael Talkington, who live near Muncie, Ind., said they have never been involved in a political campaign, but both were laid off from jobs with a lighting company and plan to volunteer for Obama.

"He makes you feel like it is possible to change things," Brenda Talkington said.

She seemed to be reading from Obama's playbook.

He spoke of reshaping the economy for the digital age, investing in education, protecting employee benefits, insuring those who do not have health care, ending poverty, weaning America from foreign oil and fighting terrorism while rebuilding global alliances. But he said the first priority must be to end the war in Iraq.

"It's time to admit that no amount of American lives can resolve the political disagreement that lies at the heart of someone else's civil war," he said. He noted that he was against the invasion from the start.

Obama talked how previous generations have brought change — fighting off colonizers, slavery and the Great Depression, welcoming immigrants, building railroads and landing a man on the moon.

"Each and every time, a new generation has risen up and done what's needed to be done," he said. "Today we are called once more — and it is time for our generation to answer that call."

The Old State Capitol was where Lincoln launched his unsuccessful 1858 U.S. Senate campaign against Stephen Douglas with his famous "House Divided" speech. During his presidential campaign in 1860, Lincoln used rooms in the second floor as his political headquarters, and his body lay in state there in 1865.

Obama said it is because of Lincoln that Americans of every race face the challenges of the 21st century together.

"The life of a tall, gangly, self-made Springfield lawyer tells us that a different future is possible," Obama said. "He tells us that there is power in words. He tells us that there is power in conviction. That beneath all the differences of race and region, faith and station, we are one people. He tells us that there is power in hope."

Obama planned to travel throughout Iowa on Saturday and Sunday before a homecoming rally Sunday night in Chicago.

Global Warming is Good for You

You've heard it here first.

Oh man, so much to talk about so little space. First off I showed my class An Inconvenient Truth a couple weeks ago. I was given permission by my principal to show it and had also received an email from the Diocese of Monterey encouraging teachers to get a free copy of AIT for their classrooms. We watched it stopping here and there to clarify and discuss things. It was like I lit a match under their 11 year old butts. They are appalled at the state of today's world and were amped up to do something about it. We spent another class period the following day discussing what we and specifically they could do. One student suggested that they write letters to politicians voicing their concern over global warming and encouraging U.S support for the Kyoto Protocal. The letters they produced were quite eloquent for kids so young and some even took it upon themselves to write personal letters to the President, Speaker Pelosi, and Al Gore in addition to the class produced letters.

Global warming has become a personal cause for many of them...all but one. Two weeks after we watched the film I received the following email from a parent...

Dear Ladies,

Alec and Adam told me they viewed Al Gore's movie as titled above. If there is anyone more biased than he about what government's role in effecting human behavior related to climate change, I, frankly, can think of none other. Certainly, there has to be better, objective sources about the impacts of human activity on climate change than a hack politician who once told his constituents he was "Pro-Live", then "adjusted" his views to conform to Democrat party orthodoxy to "Pro-Choice" when it was politically expedient. Books have been written about Al Gore's political flip-flops and hypocrisy. Is he really a valid source of objective scientific information?

Here's an inconvenient truth Al Gore fails to render: more people die of the cold than of the heat according to The Potential Impacts of Climate Variability and Change on Temperature Related Morbidity and Mortality in the United States by Michael A. McGeehan and Maria Mirabelli from he Center for Disease Control.

This is just one point that actually refutes the Chicken Little hysteria of Al Gore. In other words, Global Warming for far more people would actually be a good thing, an inconvenient truth Al Gore doesn't mention.

Read from the link below.

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0091-6765%28200105%29109%3C185%3ATPIOCV%3E2.0.CO%3B2-8&size=LARGE

I've also attached below another study that Al Gore may actually have used as a source confirming the number of deaths due to hot weather.

Extreme heat and cold

a. Impacts

Extremes of temperature have well-known impacts

on human health. There are indications that the num-

ber of heat-related deaths in the United States have

been increasing in recent years (Changnon et al.

1996a), but heat-related death tallies are suspect (cf.

Donoghue et al. 1997). Ellis (1972) showed that the

hot summers of 1952–55 each resulted in more than

500 deaths, with > 5000 heat deaths estimated in 1963

and 6700 in 1966 (Avery 1985). More than 15 000

heat-related deaths are estimated to have occurred in

the heat waves of 1980 (U.S. Senate Special Commit-

tee on Aging 1983). Unfortunately, statistics on human deaths caused by heat can be biased by many fac-

tors and accurate numbers are usually not available

except under isolated circumstances of major heat

extremes and when special studies are conducted.

Statistics based on identification of heat as the cause

of death by a medical examiner are usually much lower

than statistics based on comparison of overall death

rates. For example, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports 1678 deaths in 1980 (Parish 1997),

based on medical examiner identification; far fewer

than the 15 000 reported in congressional hearings.

The number of deaths due to extreme cold during

the 1979–94 period varied from 267 deaths in 1992

to a high of 524 deaths in 1989, based on statistics from

the CDC. The time distribution over this brief period

does not suggest any obvious trend.



Well, well, no obvious trend.

Furthermore, there is absolutely not disagreement in the scientific community that global climate changes have occurred throughout the existence of the planet before Adam and Eve made their appearance in the Garden of Eden. Climate change has always occurred and caused behavioral changes in humans. They move.

So now you are having the kids send letters to legislators to support the Kyoto Agreement. This is stepping beyond the line of educating. This is propagating opinions that are political in nature. Why not just give the kids registration cards to send home so parents can register in the Green Party?

The Kyoto Agreement actually excuses China and India from spewing coal burning. China is building 10 coal burning plants a week I've heard. When is the last time our country built a coal burning plant?

Finally, my last reading of Catholicism is that humanity is the crown of creation. How many people dying of cold due to lack of availability of petroleum-based fuels are worth a polar bear?

If you want to educate our kids to think, why not have them view alternative viewpoints such as John Stossel from ABC http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=1739076 for a balanced view of the what climate change is all about.

Please cease and desist political advocacy and offer our children the WHOLE TRUTH they deserve!

Tom XXXXXXXX

Unlike Al Gore, who just refused to debate the issue recently (Chicken Little), I will gladly debate anyone about Al Gore's movie for Junipero Serra School and enlighten your student body about the wonders of enlightened capitalism and why it would have been terribly unwise to agree to the Kyoto prescriptions

Oh yeah there is just so much comedy gold here it's ridiculous. My principal wrote him back and read him the riot act about following protocol and such since the parent CC'd the email to the pastor and other random people. I think what pissed him off was that his older son watched it in his class a couple weeks after we did and brought up some issues at home. Why the dad mailed me and not the other teacher is beyond me. Either way he can fucking suck it because I had permission from my principal and the Catholic Church.

Friday four students brought in current events about global warming. "Blowbag's" (principal's name for him) son raised his hand and said his parents didn't like him talking about global warming and that his mom said it was "bull". Oh yeah nice talk there. He went on and on about how "my whole family is republican" and how global warming is "political". The other kids looked at him like he was a loon. They couldn't understand (and said so) how global warming was a political issue when it had to do with the sustainability of the earth. I told the student that I didn't know what to tell him except while he was free to express his opinion and feel differently, I had permission to speak of such things and was not going to stop.

As of Monday night no email from his irate parent about that. Dude needs to take a look at the Catholic Church's stance on global warming and how the Church feels that we are stewards of God's creation of earth.

From 2001: http://www.usccb.org/sdwp/international/globalclimate.htm

Or: http://www.osjspm.org/globalwarming

Sure they aren't as liberal as I like, far from it, but they aren't saying, "fuck the polar bears, humans are the best thing EVA!"

The whole situation has just filled my little liberal heart with glee. I especially love that Al Gore was just nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Bring it home baby. If only to rub it in the nose of the naysayers and polar bear haters.

So....Sick

This is one of those times when death seems so much better...

I've had a constant fever since Thursday afternoon. The fever starts to break, I sweat like crazy, and nope it goes right back up. Pair the fevers with a nasty cough, a horrible sore throat, and general weakness and you have a very sick girl. So sick they had to cancel Sat. and Sun performances. Yeah that adds to me feeling good, but what can you do. I can't talk.

The only time I feel I'm in a semi normal state is in the shower, which I have to do two to three times a day to wash the sweat off/keep warm. I'm hoping the meds I have are going to help because despite what the doctor says 4+ days of constant fever can't be good.

I'm going back to sleep...

Proof Review

Unicorn opens theater season with attention-grabbing play
By NATHALIE PLOTKIN

Herald Correspondent

To open the 2007 drama season, the Unicorn Theatre really scored a winner with their production of "Proof," David Auburn's Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award-winning play in the Carl Cherry Center in Carmel.

Thought-provoking and audience attention-grabbing, this contemporary and lively script captures interest and holds it as it proceeds along a rather convoluted path in telling its emotionally meaty story.

There are several flashbacks and they are carefully listed in the program to help the audience keep track of events which would have a puzzling lack of continuity otherwise.

"Proof" tells the story of a young woman (Catherine) who has taken on the task of being the caregiver for her mentally ill father (Robert).

She has dropped out of college to do so and since her father was a mathematical genius, she is afraid that not only has she inherited his genius, but also his insanity.

The play opens with a dialogue between father and daughter on the eve of his funeral.

She sees him, as does the audience, and she speaks to him, but the question is raised about the reality of the scene and whether or not she is hallucinating. Yet there is a real bottle of warm champagne in the scene.

There is another, older, daughter (Claire) who walked away from the situation, but who took over the responsibility of the financial support of her father and sister.

She is a self-contained, emotionally detached person who is interested in doing right for her possibly dysfunctional sibling.

Then there is Hal, a former graduate student of the father who is attracted to the younger sister, but who wants to find some mathematical inspiration and career enrichment by going through the 130 notebooks the professor scribbled in during his illness.

Skip Kadish as the mentally ill father must create an almost chameleon-like emotional persona which he handles very skillfully.

In a heartrending scene when his illness reasserts itself after he has been in remission for a year, he is masterful.

Jennifer Muniz (Catherine) has the role of the willingly self-sacrificing daughter who must not only care tenderly for a difficult sick man, but must also face her fears about herself.

Stony faced, rigidly postured and coldly resistant to offers of help, she portrays the tortured inner depths of personality that make her riveting as she emphatically refuses to accept well-meant advice.

She captures sympathy as she struggles with her internal doubts and demons.

Lynette Graves is the older sister who wants to "do right" by Catherine. Her strong sense of duty is very well projected and she bears up under the coldly vituperative rejection she is the target of.

She shows how her patience is sorely tried, yet her underlying hidden warmth and caring strength are apparent.

When, in two major face-to-face, almost knock-down and drag-out confrontations, Muniz and Graves reveal the full force of the differences and resentments they have toward each other, there was crackling and powerful electricity coming from the stage.

Omar Hussain as Hal, the graduate student who cares for Catherine, also shows strength and purpose in facing up to the intractible reactions of Catherine.

He too, is warm and understanding and there is a well-projected maturity of character which adds humanity to the problems he is faced with. Still, his motivation is questionable as to its true reasons.

Director Carey Crockett guided his fine cast through an intelligently conceived and very well-integrated performance except for some seemingly overlong scene changes.

These were four special people bringing life to the author's ideas in realistic, yet emotionally colored performances, which at times included adult language.

Crockett's sense of theatrical proportion made this a fine beginning for the year and a memorable play that should not be missed.

Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please!

Obama launches 2008 White House bid

By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer
49 minutes ago

Sen. Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) launched a presidential campaign Tuesday that would make him the first black to occupy the White House, and immediately tried to turn his political inexperience into an asset with voters seeking change.

The freshman Illinois senator — and top contender for the Democratic nomination — said the past six years have left the country in a precarious place and he promoted himself as the standard-bearer for a new kind of politics.

"Our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, commonsense way," Obama said in a video posted on his Web site. "Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can't tackle the big problems that demand solutions. And that's what we have to change first."

Obama filed paperwork forming a presidential exploratory committee that allows him to raise money and put together a campaign structure. He is expected to announce a full-fledged candidacy on Feb. 10 in Springfield, Ill., where he can tout his experience in the state legislature and tap into the legacy of hometown hero Abraham Lincoln.

In a brief interview on Capitol Hill, Obama said the reaction has been positive and added, "we wouldn't have gone forward this far if it hadn't been this positive."

Obama's soft-spoken appeal on the stump, his unique background, his opposition to the Iraq war and his fresh face set him apart in a competitive race that also is expected to include front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York.

Obama has uncommon political talents, drawing adoring crowds even among the studious voters in New Hampshire during a much-hyped visit there last month. His star has risen on the force of his personality and message of hope — helped along by celebrity endorsements from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, billionaire investor Warren Buffett and actors Matt Damon and Edward Norton.

"I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position a year ago," said Obama, who added that as he talked to Americans about a possible presidential campaign, "I've been struck by how hungry we all are for a different kind of politics."

The 45-year-old has few accomplishments on the national stage after serving little more than two years in the Senate. But at a time when many voters say they are unhappy with the direction of the country, a lack of experience in the nation's capital may not be a liability.

"The decisions that have been made in Washington these past six years, and the problems that have been ignored, have put our country in a precarious place," Obama said.

He said people are struggling financially, dependence on foreign oil threatens the environment and national security and "we're still mired in a tragic and costly war that should have never been waged."

Clinton is expected to announce her presidential campaign within days, but her spokesman said there would be no comment on Obama's decision from the Clinton camp. Back from Iraq, she abruptly canceled a Capitol Hill news conference minutes after word of Obama's announcement, citing the unavailability of a New York congressman to participate.

Other Democrats who have announced a campaign or exploratory committee are 2004 vice presidential nominee John Edwards, former Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack, Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd and Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich. Sens. John Kerry of Massachusetts and Joe Biden of Delaware and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson also are considering a run.

Obama's decision was relatively low-key after months of hype, with no speech or media appearance to accompany his online announcement. He said he will discuss a presidential campaign with people around the country before his Feb. 10 event, and he wasted no time calling key activists Tuesday.

New Hampshire lobbyist Jim Demers talked with Obama for about five minutes. "He is extremely pumped and excited that this campaign is coming together," said Demers, who accompanied Obama on his visit to the state last month.

Obama's quick rise to national prominence began with his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and his election to the Senate that year. He's written two best-selling autobiographies — "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream" and "Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance."

Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, where his parents met while studying at the University of Hawaii. His father was black and from Kenya; his mother, white and from Wichita, Kan.

Obama's parents divorced when he was two and his father returned to Kenya. His mother later married an Indonesian student and the family moved to Jakarta. Obama returned to Hawaii when he was 10 to live with his maternal grandparents.

He graduated from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where he was the first African-American elected editor of the Harvard Law Review. Obama settled in Chicago, where he joined a law firm, helped local churches establish job training programs and met his future wife, Michelle Robinson. They have two daughters, Malia and Sasha.

In 1996, he was elected to the Illinois state Senate, where he earned a reputation as a consensus-building Democrat who was strongly liberal on social and economic issues, backing gay rights, abortion rights, gun control, universal health care and tax breaks for the poor.

The retirement of Republican Sen. Peter Fitzgerald of Illinois in 2004 drew a raft of candidates to the Democratic primary, but Obama easily outdistanced his competitors. He was virtually assured of victory in the general election when the designated Republican candidate was forced from the race by scandal late in the election.

Obama insisted during the 2004 campaign and through his first year in the Senate that he had no intention of running for president, but by late 2006 his public statements had begun to leave open that possibility.

In Honor...

Somehow this madness must cease. We must stop now. I speak as a child of God and brother to the suffering poor of Vietnam.
I speak for those whose land is being laid waste, whose homes are being destroyed, whose culture is being subverted. I speak
for the poor in America who are paying the double price of smashed hopes at home and death and corruption in Vietnam. I
speak as a citizen of the world, for the world as it stands aghast at the path we have taken. I speak as an American to the
leaders of my own nation. The great initiative in this war is ours. The initiative to stop it must be ours.

Martin Luther King, Jr., The Trumpet of Conscience, 1967.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies
hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction
of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of
annihilation.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength To Love, 1963.

I Have a Dream

Today my students watched The Children's March about the black children of Montgomery Alabama who marched in order to get arrested. It was hard for some of them. A couple of the girls cried. At the end they realized just a little bit more than before how important it is for kids to be activists and to change the negatives they see around them. They are already fired up after watching An Inconvenient Truth so tomorrow we will be writting letters to our government officials (the kids idea) and hoping their voices are heard.

Math Geek and the Countdown

Three months from today I'll be a hitched lady again. I think about all I have to do in the next few months and it makes my head spin. It doesn't help that I am neck deep in a show and immersed in fifth grade (I'm all about the activism and colonial studies these days).

Proof has opened with possibly the shortest rehearsal period I have experienced and the largest line load I have ever had. I thought Communicating Doors was bad with the one five minute scene being the only one I wasn't in. I think the one scene in Proof is about three minutes. At least I don't feel emotionally wasted afterwards like Our Town though should I with this one?

It's been great to work with my "dad" again. I think I need to start having contracts that dictate that my dad has to be Skip and my mom has to be Theresa. It's nice to feel close to people like that. We've gotten some nice feedback from people who liked our show better than the movie (not hard) and the London production (say what?) so we'll see what happens.

Ack it's late, what the hell am I doing up?