Damn I can't even type the subject line without tearing up. This show has been such an emotional, creative journey for me. I have had the opportunity to work with some of the best people, and to quote Jason, we really have become a family. In all the shows I've done in the past 15 years, I've never seen a cast, or director for that matter, so choked up with tears at closing. I couldn't even look at Skip. Jason...well you're the best.
I've said it before and I'll say it one last time, I never would have thought 20 years ago when I first read Our Town that I'd actually have the opportunity to play Emily. I'll be storing my script next to the paperbook copy I stole from school in 7th grade where I underlined all of Emily's lines.
This show, I think, will be a turning point for me, much as Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf was. I have a show lined up for January (Alex is going to kill me) and others in the horizon. I have received the most amazing compliments from everyone, so much so I don't even know what to say. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for the support and for moving me and letting me move you.
So long Emily. You have touched my heart and I will forever carry you with me.
"Goodbye. Goodbye world, goodbye Grover's Corners, and Mama and Papa. To clocks ticking and my butternut tree, and to Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee and new ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping and waking up. Oh world you're far to wonderful for anyone to ever realize."
10/20/06
The Crystal- Light Cult
Yay...relaxation! I am so glad I took a personal day off today so I could sleep all I wanted before the show tonight. Sleep makes me happy.
There's a funny occurance happening in my classroom. I'm a Crystal Light drinker. Bethia and I started drinking it because neither of us likes the taste of plain water. I can hardly ever drink it, and I know I need to drink water, so Crystal Light seemed to be the answer. I drink it at school in little water bottles using the Crystal Light on the Go packs (fabulous idea by the way) and the fifth graders asked me about it. I told them it was Crystal Light and that I drink it because I can't stand the taste of plain water and I liked it because it was sugar free and I was able to drink the water I needed too.
Seems Crystal Light has become a cult in fifth grade. Half the kids now drink it. They carry their little water bottles and On the Go packs all over the place. They have conversations about which flavor is the best. They loudly proclaim that it's sugar free to who ever will listen. They have even gotten their parents hooked on it.
It cracks me up but it's scary how much influence I have on them in certain regards.
Oh and as for Crystal Light, I recommend the raspberry lemonade.
There's a funny occurance happening in my classroom. I'm a Crystal Light drinker. Bethia and I started drinking it because neither of us likes the taste of plain water. I can hardly ever drink it, and I know I need to drink water, so Crystal Light seemed to be the answer. I drink it at school in little water bottles using the Crystal Light on the Go packs (fabulous idea by the way) and the fifth graders asked me about it. I told them it was Crystal Light and that I drink it because I can't stand the taste of plain water and I liked it because it was sugar free and I was able to drink the water I needed too.
Seems Crystal Light has become a cult in fifth grade. Half the kids now drink it. They carry their little water bottles and On the Go packs all over the place. They have conversations about which flavor is the best. They loudly proclaim that it's sugar free to who ever will listen. They have even gotten their parents hooked on it.
It cracks me up but it's scary how much influence I have on them in certain regards.
Oh and as for Crystal Light, I recommend the raspberry lemonade.
10/19/06
Our Town Opens
Our Town at MPC's Morgan Stock Stage.
October 19, 2006
In 1938, audiences were startled by Thornton Wilder's barebones production of Our Town. By dispensing with the normal trappings of theater, it broke down the traditional narrative form and became one of the first widely-hailed postmodern theatrical classics. Nearly 70 years later, it's the writing that continues to mesmerize audience and invigorate directors like MPC's Peter DeBono. [RM]
8pm/Fri-Sat; 2pm/Sun. The Morgan Stock Stage at the MPC Theatre Company, 980 Fremont St., Monterey. $18/in advance; $25/door; $20/seniors; $15/young adults (20 and under); $10/children 12 and under. 646-4213 or Ticketguys.com.
9/24/06
Our Town and Stuff...
Man it was a week.
Much sadness for Peter, Cliff, and their families this week. Jerry was such a neat guy. I had always wanted to work with him and we would talk about it now and then. He loved my Helen Kane impersonation and would always give me the best compliments and feedback on my performances. I know he will be missed greatly in the theatre community.
Our first week off book for Our Town. The week started off well but of course as we got closer and closer to act three I was toast. Why oh why can't I memorize like I used to? Damn plur!! LOL It's been good times though. Jason and Mark make me laugh regularly, something I'm always happy to do. (Though not on stage Mark!!! "Kiss the bitch". Heh)
Fifth grade has been very busy and amusing. Our days are over in what seems like two hours. I never seem to have enough time to finish everything I need to do with them, which sucks because it's a lot. They are however, pretty much the same as they were in second grade, just taller. My little friend in second grade continues to be my little friend in fifth grade. At least he's respectful of me. He told the after school aide that I was awesome. Current events have also proven to be an interesting weekly event. Why this past Friday we had discussions ranging from the politics of nuclear disarmament and our lovely president, the dangers of kitty litter to pregnant women, birth defects, and hermaphrodites, breast cancer and nipple piercings. Yeah you read right. I stopped that last one right away but man Fifth graders are interesting.
Much sadness for Peter, Cliff, and their families this week. Jerry was such a neat guy. I had always wanted to work with him and we would talk about it now and then. He loved my Helen Kane impersonation and would always give me the best compliments and feedback on my performances. I know he will be missed greatly in the theatre community.
Our first week off book for Our Town. The week started off well but of course as we got closer and closer to act three I was toast. Why oh why can't I memorize like I used to? Damn plur!! LOL It's been good times though. Jason and Mark make me laugh regularly, something I'm always happy to do. (Though not on stage Mark!!! "Kiss the bitch". Heh)
Fifth grade has been very busy and amusing. Our days are over in what seems like two hours. I never seem to have enough time to finish everything I need to do with them, which sucks because it's a lot. They are however, pretty much the same as they were in second grade, just taller. My little friend in second grade continues to be my little friend in fifth grade. At least he's respectful of me. He told the after school aide that I was awesome. Current events have also proven to be an interesting weekly event. Why this past Friday we had discussions ranging from the politics of nuclear disarmament and our lovely president, the dangers of kitty litter to pregnant women, birth defects, and hermaphrodites, breast cancer and nipple piercings. Yeah you read right. I stopped that last one right away but man Fifth graders are interesting.
8/22/06
I Can't Take it Anymore
My dear sweet baby Sweetpea died about 20 min ago. She was fine for most of the day, her usual happy kamakazi rattie self. When we got home from getting groceries I looked in the cage and saw her rolling around funny. Then for a couple hours she alternated hopping around with dragging her legs behind her. Then she seemed to magically get better. I had hope that she could make it til the morning to go to the vet. I kept checking on her and while I was at the cage she jumped on the door like she always did to come out. I opened it and she climbed up my arm to my shoulder. She died in my arms not 5 min later.
This hurts so bad because she was my little baby runt rattie from the beginning. I held her from the time she was born. It's like one of my own children dying.
What makes it worse was that I lost my old Zoe girl on Friday. Zoe was three so it was horribly sad yet expected. I love my rats so much but if I lose another one in any short period of time I'm going to lose it. They always come to me right before they die. I don't know why they do it.
Zoe, who was always skittish of people until the end when she wouldn't let me put her in the cage for a day. We spent some quality snuggle time in the end.
I'll add a picture of Sweetpea on July 4th when I can scan it.
5/7/06
LIfe at 15,000 Feet
I did it!
I cannot thank Amber enough for the most wonderful birthday present. This was truly a highlight of my life! I love you!
It was strange how I wasn't scared at all, especially at the door which was where I thought I would get nervous. The actual jumping out of the door part happened so fast you couldn't even think. You just went. I was also surprised at how long we were up in the air. It seemed like quite a long time. It was so amazing just floating (though we were really falling) in the air and being able to look all around like that. Above the clouds the view was spectacular. Suposedly Skydive Monterey Bay is the highest skydive in California at 15,000 feet and if you pay for the 18,000 feet jump you are doing the highest jump in the US. So cool! As you can see in the video I'm grinning like a fool the whole time. That was how I felt. Elated!
Another awesome thing I saw was a rainbow. Did you know rainbows are actually circular? Like doughnuts. We see them as arches on the ground but from above they are circles.
I can't go on enough about the experience and about how much it meant to me. It is certainly something I would do again. I'd even consider taking a class. I love birds and up there, I was a bird.
P.s Craziness....my mom wants to do it now. I think she's insane. That or she just wants the damn video. The following are stills from the DVD.
Lee my awesome Jumpmaster getting me ready. I loved him. He really made me feel comfortable about the whole thing.
I was going "OMG" and "Wow" the whole time. I tried to take everything in while I was up there.
Weeeeee!
Lee just pulled the chute.
On the ground once again. The adrenaline kick was craaazy. I was jumping up and down for like 30 min afterwards. I looked like a raving lunatic I'm sure to all the poor saps waiting to get on the plane and freaking out.
If you would like to watch the video
12/22/03
Shake, Rattle and Roll
Oooh earthquake!!
Just has a 6.5 about 2 hrs south of us. This was a big one lots of rolling around and doors swinging. At first I thought I was just delusional from all the work and late hours but it kept going and going. Alex didn't feel it and he was outside working on the car. Poor guy he's dissapointed.
I may be crazy but I love earthquakes.
Just has a 6.5 about 2 hrs south of us. This was a big one lots of rolling around and doors swinging. At first I thought I was just delusional from all the work and late hours but it kept going and going. Alex didn't feel it and he was outside working on the car. Poor guy he's dissapointed.
I may be crazy but I love earthquakes.
12/11/03
Catching Up
Grrr to nights where I think so much that I can't sleep..not to mention Alex is working late on a report and I can't seem to sleep anymore unless he's in the bed with me.
I haven't updated in over a months and so much has gone on. Some good, some sad, and some down right shitty.
Work has had it's ups and downs. We are going through accreditation right now. WASC is a bitch. Tons of meetings on top of meetings to write this huge document to prove we are a worthwhile school. This of course leads up to observations and such. Last year at the preschool we went through Cal State funding rigmarole and that was a treat in and of itself but it was nothing like this. Last year I sailed through it not even needing to go through a personal inquisition because the State went through all my paperwork with a fine tooth comb and found it "flawless". We received a perfect score. I'm sure this will go just as well but I'm afraid for the inquisition mainly because I am new there.
Second grade is growing on me more, though there are some days all I can think about it coming home and going to sleep as soon as I get up. We had an excellent unit on Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) at the end of October/beginning of Nov. We had an altar set up in class with pictures of loved ones who had passed along with candles, marigolds, and our decorated sugar skulls. The children were so interested in it, it was a beautiful thing. We are very fortunate in that we are a private Parochial school because we are able to cover things that many schools could not.
This mainly is the religious aspect of cultures.
On the last day of out unit we went into the Mission graveyard and had a prayer ceremony and the children were able to lay flowers on the Native American graves there. It was very moving with the children being so respectful and happy to be able to gift them with flowers. It really helped bring the idea of remembrance in death. Of course I cried when we all talked about those that had gone in our families who were special to us. The looks on the kids faces were pure shock. Some even started to tear up themselves. Seems they never saw a teacher cry before but it gave us an opportunity to talk about missing those we loved and about how anyone can cry and it's ok.
Thanksgiving went well too...at least in the classroom. There is nothing better than being able to dispel a myth and teach the truth. Luckily the resources on the 1621 Harvest Festival are growing and today's children will hopefully have teachers who refuse to teach stereotypes. Again I must seem like the militant socialist at school or something because my mother was absolutely livid with me when we had a conversation on the subject. She doesn't understand why we can't say Pilgrims or why I refuse to say Indians. She thinks the traditions should stay in place and doesn't believe me when I say ther aren't true. *sigh* Some people are so stuck in their ways.
Thanksgiving itself started out pretty lame. For some reason I turned on the parade..why? And there was this big ol' float with Judy Collins singing on it and all sorts of happy "pilgrims and indians" dancing around it. What the hell!!! The colonists never wore all black or those stupid tall hats. The Wampanoag didn't wear long flowing feather headdresses!!! Don't people realize by portraying Native Americans all the same way that it would be the same as saying and portraying all Europeans wearing the same traditional dress and speaking the same language? Grrr I could go on but I won't.
All I know is for some reason my views became comical relief to my mother and to my family at the dinner table on Thanksgiving, with my cousin's husband going, "So Jennifer I hear you have a problem with Pilgrims and Indians." Everyone laughed at the following conversation..they thought it hilarious. I ended up crying and walking out of the building. Alex was pissed, he almost had us leave. They are just ignorant, what can I do? Ok so maybe ignorant isn't the word. They just haven't had their eyes opened to the world around them and freed themselves from the American world view. There..that's nicer.
On the Alex front things are going very well. We had such a wonderful birthday weekend for him. It was just pure happiness. It was funny because he brought up a ring discussion and talked about where we might get married. That made me happy because I so often suppress any wedding thoughts or convos cause I don't want to freak him out. I've been told a ring will not be an Xmas present but maybe soon. I just know he's the one for me, he supports me, he loves me, he makes me happy. He loves my rats, he makes me steaks, and he cares for the world as I do. How lucky am I?
I haven't updated in over a months and so much has gone on. Some good, some sad, and some down right shitty.
Work has had it's ups and downs. We are going through accreditation right now. WASC is a bitch. Tons of meetings on top of meetings to write this huge document to prove we are a worthwhile school. This of course leads up to observations and such. Last year at the preschool we went through Cal State funding rigmarole and that was a treat in and of itself but it was nothing like this. Last year I sailed through it not even needing to go through a personal inquisition because the State went through all my paperwork with a fine tooth comb and found it "flawless". We received a perfect score. I'm sure this will go just as well but I'm afraid for the inquisition mainly because I am new there.
Second grade is growing on me more, though there are some days all I can think about it coming home and going to sleep as soon as I get up. We had an excellent unit on Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) at the end of October/beginning of Nov. We had an altar set up in class with pictures of loved ones who had passed along with candles, marigolds, and our decorated sugar skulls. The children were so interested in it, it was a beautiful thing. We are very fortunate in that we are a private Parochial school because we are able to cover things that many schools could not.
This mainly is the religious aspect of cultures.
On the last day of out unit we went into the Mission graveyard and had a prayer ceremony and the children were able to lay flowers on the Native American graves there. It was very moving with the children being so respectful and happy to be able to gift them with flowers. It really helped bring the idea of remembrance in death. Of course I cried when we all talked about those that had gone in our families who were special to us. The looks on the kids faces were pure shock. Some even started to tear up themselves. Seems they never saw a teacher cry before but it gave us an opportunity to talk about missing those we loved and about how anyone can cry and it's ok.
Thanksgiving went well too...at least in the classroom. There is nothing better than being able to dispel a myth and teach the truth. Luckily the resources on the 1621 Harvest Festival are growing and today's children will hopefully have teachers who refuse to teach stereotypes. Again I must seem like the militant socialist at school or something because my mother was absolutely livid with me when we had a conversation on the subject. She doesn't understand why we can't say Pilgrims or why I refuse to say Indians. She thinks the traditions should stay in place and doesn't believe me when I say ther aren't true. *sigh* Some people are so stuck in their ways.
Thanksgiving itself started out pretty lame. For some reason I turned on the parade..why? And there was this big ol' float with Judy Collins singing on it and all sorts of happy "pilgrims and indians" dancing around it. What the hell!!! The colonists never wore all black or those stupid tall hats. The Wampanoag didn't wear long flowing feather headdresses!!! Don't people realize by portraying Native Americans all the same way that it would be the same as saying and portraying all Europeans wearing the same traditional dress and speaking the same language? Grrr I could go on but I won't.
All I know is for some reason my views became comical relief to my mother and to my family at the dinner table on Thanksgiving, with my cousin's husband going, "So Jennifer I hear you have a problem with Pilgrims and Indians." Everyone laughed at the following conversation..they thought it hilarious. I ended up crying and walking out of the building. Alex was pissed, he almost had us leave. They are just ignorant, what can I do? Ok so maybe ignorant isn't the word. They just haven't had their eyes opened to the world around them and freed themselves from the American world view. There..that's nicer.
On the Alex front things are going very well. We had such a wonderful birthday weekend for him. It was just pure happiness. It was funny because he brought up a ring discussion and talked about where we might get married. That made me happy because I so often suppress any wedding thoughts or convos cause I don't want to freak him out. I've been told a ring will not be an Xmas present but maybe soon. I just know he's the one for me, he supports me, he loves me, he makes me happy. He loves my rats, he makes me steaks, and he cares for the world as I do. How lucky am I?
11/6/03
Some Days you Just Pray for it to be Over
This week has been parent conferences and all of them so far have gone great, the parents have been very supportive and understanding of why their child received the grade they did. They have been willing to work with my suggestions on how to work on certain subjects.
Then several parents have also mentioned my "friend" Nicholas, voiced concerns over his behavior in class from what their children tell them. One of my students even plays "Ms. Jennifer" She dresses up in her moms high heels, puts on glasses and lines up all her stuffed animals. She also has to repramand her stuffed Nicholas A LOT. How sad is that? He not only is effecting the children at school, he is also going home with them. It makes me very sad. It isn't fair that I have to devote so much time and energy to a child who could give a shit and who behaves horribly while the others stand by and wait. I am just getting so anry inside about him and it really scares me because I've never felt that way towards any child I've worked with.
Things had been getting better. He had started using the Hooked on Phonics program and with his improving reading skills he was feeling better about himself and about school. He became sort of a buddy and though he still misbehaved quite a bit, he was easier to deal with and teach. Last week things started going downhill. He wasn't listening or following directions as well. He started ignoring my requests to unpack his backpack or clean up his area around his desk. He spread his papers and books all over the floor and played constantly with his pencils and crayons. He continued his way of walking into the classroom after the bells, walking slowly like an old man, far behind the class and deliberatly holding us up. He added this behavior into the classroom whenever he needed to go back to his seat. Whining "I am!!!" When I asked him to please walk quickly back to his seat.
Last Thursday I called him back into the classroom as he was going to lunch to clean his area. Imagine books and pencils and papers and a jacket all spread out on the floor and on the desk next to him. I told him to clean it before he left for lunch. He tried to put some of it in the empty desk next to him (the buffer desk) I explained to him that he had his desk and that his things were to go into it. He whined and ignored my requests, putting the things into it anyway. I reminded him that he refused to sit in that desk before when it was his assigned desk and that now he had made his choice and had to stick with it. Basically it became a battle of the wills with me refusing to let him do anything until he put his things away in his desk and hang up his jacket. He backtalked me several times and after a warning from me, left the room.
I go to my lunch and immediatly am confronted with a gaggle of 1st grade girls who tell me Nicholas hit them with his lunchbox, that he was swinging it at them and hitting them. We are talking about five girls crying about being hit. So I write him up and the principal decides he will be suspended the next day, Halloween.
The parents are called and from what the principal told me the mother freaks out, saying that she feels we pick on her precious poopsie. Whatever. The principal wants me to write him up for disrespect for me but I didn't. Turns out somewhere in a parent meeting the principal had with his parents, that Nicholas is allowed to come to school the next day and join in on all the school fun. How that happened I don't know.
So things have just gotten worse. He argues with me all the time. He left his backpack on the ground the other day after I asked his row to unpack (I call the children by rows to unpack). So I remind him his row was called. 10 min later it's still on the floor. I tell him he needs to put his pack away. He argues with me that I hadn't told him. "Nicholas, I did" "No you didn't" Seriously argues with me even when the other kids say yes I did. Today he left his backpack on the floor for 45 min. Tomorrow if he does it again and tries to talk back to me he is going to the office. And if he refuses to go like the last time I tried to send him off, I am calling in the very big math teacher to come carry him out. I'm tired of that shit.
The whining, the picking, the arguing, the willful disobediance is driving me crazy and making me not want to go to work.
To make matters worse the parents send a note attached to his reportcard today listing all the things they want to discuss with me tomorrow. Things like:
-"Under spelling it is noted that he needs improvement with assigned lists. Based on tests it appears he does well. What improvements would you like to see?"
Hmm ok lets look at the grade book. First of all the category for improvement was "Mastery of assigned lists" He has a score of, 100, 0, 94, 100, 56, 82, 60, 94 for an average of 73...no mastery there.
-"Under conduct all boxes are checked as needs improvement. We were questioning the "respects school property" and "respects personal property"> We have not heard of any problems before."
He trashes his desk, throws his books around (which are school property), refused to put his clothes in their proper place and constantly picks all the erasers out of the classroom pencils. Not cause for a parent conference but certainly cause for a mark on his report card.
-"We noticed low score in conduct (Oh really *snark*). Previously I suggest a behavior modification program, but I have not received any feedback regarding behaviors in the class".
They were also told they needed to write up a letter with what they were doing to help Nicholas and finally turned it in. They also stated that hey were going to put him in counseling. I thought that was what the list of behaviors was for. They cancelled their appointment with the therapist and now say he doesn't need one. So why do they need a list? Besides, why ask for a list full of negative behaviors when they'll never believe it anyway. They run the gamut and cover all negative behaviors...seriously he does them all except for like setting fire to things. I have discussed things he does in class with them in meetings and in notes and they always say he never does anything like that at home.
-"We are flustrated (huh?)with communication since school started we have only received about 2-3 notes. In order for us to help we need more communications."
I have four notes, two conferences, and four notices of concern (ie. referrals). Perhaps she is referring to the stalker like activity of her two calls to me at my HOME one night and then once the next morning before I went to work. I don't take business calls at home and I didn't answer the phone.
Anyway it goes on and on and I am hoping it goes well tomorrow. The V. Principal is going to be sitting in on the meeting, supporting me. I am soooo angry and soo tired of the whole situation I just want to run away. I'm tired of the blame on both the parent's and child's part. For christ sakes he blames everything on me or his classmates. "My stomach is mad at you!" "Why?" "Because it's hungry." Yeah all my fault.
If you are a praying sort please offer up something for me. I could use all the help and good thoughts, spells, incantations whatever, I can get. I feel so negative and so worn down from this situation.
Then several parents have also mentioned my "friend" Nicholas, voiced concerns over his behavior in class from what their children tell them. One of my students even plays "Ms. Jennifer" She dresses up in her moms high heels, puts on glasses and lines up all her stuffed animals. She also has to repramand her stuffed Nicholas A LOT. How sad is that? He not only is effecting the children at school, he is also going home with them. It makes me very sad. It isn't fair that I have to devote so much time and energy to a child who could give a shit and who behaves horribly while the others stand by and wait. I am just getting so anry inside about him and it really scares me because I've never felt that way towards any child I've worked with.
Things had been getting better. He had started using the Hooked on Phonics program and with his improving reading skills he was feeling better about himself and about school. He became sort of a buddy and though he still misbehaved quite a bit, he was easier to deal with and teach. Last week things started going downhill. He wasn't listening or following directions as well. He started ignoring my requests to unpack his backpack or clean up his area around his desk. He spread his papers and books all over the floor and played constantly with his pencils and crayons. He continued his way of walking into the classroom after the bells, walking slowly like an old man, far behind the class and deliberatly holding us up. He added this behavior into the classroom whenever he needed to go back to his seat. Whining "I am!!!" When I asked him to please walk quickly back to his seat.
Last Thursday I called him back into the classroom as he was going to lunch to clean his area. Imagine books and pencils and papers and a jacket all spread out on the floor and on the desk next to him. I told him to clean it before he left for lunch. He tried to put some of it in the empty desk next to him (the buffer desk) I explained to him that he had his desk and that his things were to go into it. He whined and ignored my requests, putting the things into it anyway. I reminded him that he refused to sit in that desk before when it was his assigned desk and that now he had made his choice and had to stick with it. Basically it became a battle of the wills with me refusing to let him do anything until he put his things away in his desk and hang up his jacket. He backtalked me several times and after a warning from me, left the room.
I go to my lunch and immediatly am confronted with a gaggle of 1st grade girls who tell me Nicholas hit them with his lunchbox, that he was swinging it at them and hitting them. We are talking about five girls crying about being hit. So I write him up and the principal decides he will be suspended the next day, Halloween.
The parents are called and from what the principal told me the mother freaks out, saying that she feels we pick on her precious poopsie. Whatever. The principal wants me to write him up for disrespect for me but I didn't. Turns out somewhere in a parent meeting the principal had with his parents, that Nicholas is allowed to come to school the next day and join in on all the school fun. How that happened I don't know.
So things have just gotten worse. He argues with me all the time. He left his backpack on the ground the other day after I asked his row to unpack (I call the children by rows to unpack). So I remind him his row was called. 10 min later it's still on the floor. I tell him he needs to put his pack away. He argues with me that I hadn't told him. "Nicholas, I did" "No you didn't" Seriously argues with me even when the other kids say yes I did. Today he left his backpack on the floor for 45 min. Tomorrow if he does it again and tries to talk back to me he is going to the office. And if he refuses to go like the last time I tried to send him off, I am calling in the very big math teacher to come carry him out. I'm tired of that shit.
The whining, the picking, the arguing, the willful disobediance is driving me crazy and making me not want to go to work.
To make matters worse the parents send a note attached to his reportcard today listing all the things they want to discuss with me tomorrow. Things like:
-"Under spelling it is noted that he needs improvement with assigned lists. Based on tests it appears he does well. What improvements would you like to see?"
Hmm ok lets look at the grade book. First of all the category for improvement was "Mastery of assigned lists" He has a score of, 100, 0, 94, 100, 56, 82, 60, 94 for an average of 73...no mastery there.
-"Under conduct all boxes are checked as needs improvement. We were questioning the "respects school property" and "respects personal property"> We have not heard of any problems before."
He trashes his desk, throws his books around (which are school property), refused to put his clothes in their proper place and constantly picks all the erasers out of the classroom pencils. Not cause for a parent conference but certainly cause for a mark on his report card.
-"We noticed low score in conduct (Oh really *snark*). Previously I suggest a behavior modification program, but I have not received any feedback regarding behaviors in the class".
They were also told they needed to write up a letter with what they were doing to help Nicholas and finally turned it in. They also stated that hey were going to put him in counseling. I thought that was what the list of behaviors was for. They cancelled their appointment with the therapist and now say he doesn't need one. So why do they need a list? Besides, why ask for a list full of negative behaviors when they'll never believe it anyway. They run the gamut and cover all negative behaviors...seriously he does them all except for like setting fire to things. I have discussed things he does in class with them in meetings and in notes and they always say he never does anything like that at home.
-"We are flustrated (huh?)with communication since school started we have only received about 2-3 notes. In order for us to help we need more communications."
I have four notes, two conferences, and four notices of concern (ie. referrals). Perhaps she is referring to the stalker like activity of her two calls to me at my HOME one night and then once the next morning before I went to work. I don't take business calls at home and I didn't answer the phone.
Anyway it goes on and on and I am hoping it goes well tomorrow. The V. Principal is going to be sitting in on the meeting, supporting me. I am soooo angry and soo tired of the whole situation I just want to run away. I'm tired of the blame on both the parent's and child's part. For christ sakes he blames everything on me or his classmates. "My stomach is mad at you!" "Why?" "Because it's hungry." Yeah all my fault.
If you are a praying sort please offer up something for me. I could use all the help and good thoughts, spells, incantations whatever, I can get. I feel so negative and so worn down from this situation.
10/27/03
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg
Total frustration...
I should be working on lesson plans right now but I am upset by a "meeting" my principal and I had. Seems she thinks I am too dependant on my mother...that we have lunch together already so I shouldn't need to sit next to her at meetings. ??? Didn't realize there was anything wrong with sitting next to a certain person at a meeting.
She insinuated that I needed to be more social with everyone else which is a bunch of hooey. Anyone who really knows me knows I talk to everyone. I told her that I didn't sit next to my mother to talk because I was under the impression that we were having a meeting not a social gathering. Anyway long story short she made me cry and I really get po'd when people make me cry.
She ended up saying she was sorry that she offended me. Seems she was a bit jealous as she thought I was confiding my woes with my mother and not with her. *eye roll* Whatever. I don't tell people that crap...well except for my journal right ;)
I should be working on lesson plans right now but I am upset by a "meeting" my principal and I had. Seems she thinks I am too dependant on my mother...that we have lunch together already so I shouldn't need to sit next to her at meetings. ??? Didn't realize there was anything wrong with sitting next to a certain person at a meeting.
She insinuated that I needed to be more social with everyone else which is a bunch of hooey. Anyone who really knows me knows I talk to everyone. I told her that I didn't sit next to my mother to talk because I was under the impression that we were having a meeting not a social gathering. Anyway long story short she made me cry and I really get po'd when people make me cry.
She ended up saying she was sorry that she offended me. Seems she was a bit jealous as she thought I was confiding my woes with my mother and not with her. *eye roll* Whatever. I don't tell people that crap...well except for my journal right ;)
10/24/03
Beyond Borders
Just got back home from seeing Beyond Borders with Alex. It was avery powerful film for us almost reducing us to tears throughout. If you are a sheep I would not recommend seeing it as it isn't an entertaining movie. It is instead a movie that forces you to realize the reality that is beyond our happy, comfy borders of McDonalds, malls and fast cars.
It made me want to do something even more, as it did Alex. He said he would leave right now if it weren't for the kids. I understand for I'd be out there if it weren't for my family. I don't know how I could leave my mom behind but I feel this calling in a way that has been growing steadily for about 2 years now.
Where do I go...how do I even begin?
On a different note, the army once again fucked up.
...Not out of control MY ASS! We drove by it coming home and there were massive flames dangerously close to homes in Seaside. Interesting how we got a notice that the fire was 90% contained at like 11am.
It made me want to do something even more, as it did Alex. He said he would leave right now if it weren't for the kids. I understand for I'd be out there if it weren't for my family. I don't know how I could leave my mom behind but I feel this calling in a way that has been growing steadily for about 2 years now.
Where do I go...how do I even begin?
On a different note, the army once again fucked up.
Fort Ord Burn Out Of Control
1,270 Acres Of Thick Brush Burned
POSTED: 3:30 p.m. PDT October 24, 2003
UPDATED: 9:29 p.m. PDT October 24, 2003
SEASIDE, Calif. -- A prescribed burn at the former Fort Ord has blackened 1,270 acres and is out of control, Action News reported Friday afternoon.
The burn started about 8:30 a.m. and the smoke from it could be seen for miles as it drifted out over Monterey Bay and into some communities.
About 500 acres of thick brush was scheduled to be burned in an effort to remove thick ground cover so that crews can reach dangerous unexploded ordinance that lies beneath.
Earlier in the day, a spokesman for the company in charge of the burn, Firestop, said it was a successful burn, although not everything went as planned. Officials said the blaze did escape the fire line at one point, forcing engineers to change their plans, but that it was not out of control.
"Wildfire is sometimes unpredictable. It has a tendency to do the things it wants to do ... all we can do is plan for those contingencies, which we did, and bringing it back into line when it gets outside of what expected," Firestop spokesman Rich Foster said.
More than 80 personnel, including 12 helicopters, are on hand to battle the flames.
Army officials said there are no more burns scheduled at the site until next summer.
...Not out of control MY ASS! We drove by it coming home and there were massive flames dangerously close to homes in Seaside. Interesting how we got a notice that the fire was 90% contained at like 11am.
10/21/03
It's almost Wednesday
Just wanted to show everyone a picture I took today.
We may look sweet, we may look cute...but ooooooohhhhhh.
I had another observation today. The day wasn't working in my favor. Coach was on leave today so we had no PE my prep time for my science lesson and the lesson in which I was to be observed and graded. So there goes the prep time. I was amazed however because for an hour and a half straight they we silent as can be...perfectly well behaved and calm..working hard on handwriting and then art projects. I was shocked. Then Rey came in for science and it was a whole different story. My computer and projector set up didn't work and they started spazzing out towards the end. *sigh* Hands on science became let's toss the rock around. I had to really raise my voice.
Rey strangely loved that...okay....you wouldn't think they would want you to "yell" at your students but whatever. I got a glowing review. Another shocker but hey I'm just glad this bout is over until next month.
I also collected about 7 or 8 cards and pictures today. for some reason the kids were being loves and handing me pictures and poems left and right. It made me feel good because after visiting my former school last Monday I was missing my babies real bad along with all the love they share. A teacher needs to feel appreciated and loved you know?
We may look sweet, we may look cute...but ooooooohhhhhh.
I had another observation today. The day wasn't working in my favor. Coach was on leave today so we had no PE my prep time for my science lesson and the lesson in which I was to be observed and graded. So there goes the prep time. I was amazed however because for an hour and a half straight they we silent as can be...perfectly well behaved and calm..working hard on handwriting and then art projects. I was shocked. Then Rey came in for science and it was a whole different story. My computer and projector set up didn't work and they started spazzing out towards the end. *sigh* Hands on science became let's toss the rock around. I had to really raise my voice.
Rey strangely loved that...okay....you wouldn't think they would want you to "yell" at your students but whatever. I got a glowing review. Another shocker but hey I'm just glad this bout is over until next month.
I also collected about 7 or 8 cards and pictures today. for some reason the kids were being loves and handing me pictures and poems left and right. It made me feel good because after visiting my former school last Monday I was missing my babies real bad along with all the love they share. A teacher needs to feel appreciated and loved you know?
10/12/03
Why in God's Name?
U.S. May Expand Access To Endangered Species
By Shankar Vedantam
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, October 11, 2003; Page A01
The Bush administration is proposing far-reaching changes to conservation policies that would allow hunters, circuses and the pet industry to kill, capture and import animals on the brink of extinction in other countries.
Giving Americans access to endangered animals, officials said, would feed the gigantic U.S. demand for live animals, skins, parts and trophies, and generate profits that would allow poor nations to pay for conservation of the remaining animals and their habitat.
This and other proposals that pursue conservation through trade would, for example, open the door for American trophy hunters to kill the endangered straight-horned markhor in Pakistan; license the pet industry to import the blue fronted Amazon parrot from Argentina; permit the capture of endangered Asian elephants for U.S. circuses and zoos; and partially resume the trade in African ivory. No U.S. endangered species would be affected.
Conservationists think it's a bad idea. "It's a very dangerous precedent to decide that wildlife exploitation is in the best interest of wildlife," said Adam Roberts, a senior research associate at the nonprofit Animal Welfare Institute, an advocacy group for endangered species.
Killing or capturing even a few animals is hardly the best way to protect endangered species, conservationists say. Many charge that the policies cater to individuals and businesses that profit from animal exploitation.
The latest proposal involves an interpretation of the Endangered Species Act that deviates radically from the course followed by Republican and Democratic administrations since President Richard M. Nixon signed the act in 1973. The law established broad protection for endangered species, most of which are not native to America, and effectively prohibited trade in them.
Kenneth Stansell, assistant director for international affairs at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, said there has been a growing realization that the Endangered Species Act provides poor countries no incentive to protect dying species. Allowing American hunters, circuses and the pet industry to pay countries to take fixed numbers of animals from the wild can help protect the remaining animals, he said.
U.S. officials note that such trade is already open to hunters, pet importers and zoos in other Western nations. They say the idea is supported by poor countries that are home to the endangered species and would benefit from the revenue.
Officials at the Department of Interior and Fish and Wildlife, who are spearheading many of the new policies, said the proposals merely implement rarely used provisions in the law.
"This is absolutely consistent with the Endangered Species Act, as written," said David P. Smith, deputy assistant secretary at the Department of Interior for Fish and Wildlife and Parks. "I think the nature of the beast is such that there are critics who are going to claim some kind of ulterior motive."
Animal welfare advocates question the logic of the new approach, saying that foreign countries and groups that stand to profit will be in charge of determining how many animals can be killed or captured. Advocates also warn that opening the door to legal trade will allow poaching to flourish.
"As soon as you place a financial price on the head of wild animals, the incentive is to kill the animal or capture them," Roberts said. "The minute people find out they can have an easier time killing, shipping and profiting from wildlife, they will do so."
The proposals also trigger a visceral response: To many animal lovers, these species have emotional and symbolic value, and should never be captured or killed.
The Endangered Species Act prohibits removing domestic endangered species from the wild. Until now, that protection was extended to foreign species. Explaining the change, Stansell said, "There is a recognition that these sovereign nations have a different way of managing their natural resources."
10/3/03
Oh the Guilt
The last few days have been something else. Last night I had to attend and be a speaker at the first Sacramental Preparation meeting for my second grade parents and those parents of the parish children going through the Sacraments this year. This is the reason I didn't want to teach second grade. I went through all the Sacraments myself but I probably shouldn't be teaching them. I also am divorced and living with someone which is a big no no.
So right before the presentations start Fr. Emil who is a youngish priest who will be part of the Sacrament program asks me when he finds out who my mother is (the school secretary) if I was the one getting married...no I say. "Oh is it your sister?" No I don't have a sister. The Sunday School teacher then pipes in, "Jennifer you'll already married aren't you?" Which I have to answer I was 'cause I can't lie *sigh*. So then I mention that I was wanting to get an annulment to which Fr. Emile says he's on the tribunal and we can talk about it afterwards.
So the meeting bombs...for me at least. Being a theatre person I can talk out my ass for ages...have no problem being in front of people but I was not doing well this night. I should have sounded canned and read off my handouts but nooooo I had to try to wing it without reading and sounded lame in the process.
Afterwards. I talked with Fr. Emile in the rectory for a couple minutes about the whole annulment thing. I had to cry of course. Sometimes divorce seems like such a shameful thing, you failed or you didn't try hard enough. He was very kind about it and said some people were just not meant for each other. Then the whole cost of an annulment came up and I burst into tears again..even worse when he said that I wouldn't have to worry about it and that he would have the church take care of it. It's damn expensive and partially the reason I've waited for so long.
So now I have to fill out all the paperwork, obtain witnesses (5 of them), and write out our history (5 pages worth). Then it goes to the diocese tribunal (court) and then to the archdiocese if it makes it through the first round. All this to clear my marriage slate. Or not, as Fr. Emile said, to say it never happened but that it was non Sacramental. *sigh* I don't plan on getting married in the church again but I didn't want to be committing a major "sin" whenever I do get remarried.
Either way my future with communion is doomed..which sucks for my job.
Sometimes religion sucks.
And that brings us to today. My relationship with the secretary at the school is unique because well she's my mom..so I see my mom every day. After school she came into my room to talk with me about something I was angry with her for doing. She had told me that she sent my ex a birthday card. I know she had done this the last two years we were not together as well as to all his family but give me a break...we're divorced now...I have someone new. So I was mad. She said she didn't put love on it or anything. She just wanted to send him one since she sends them to everyone else in his family. I explained why I was angry and she understood but didn't say she'd stop.
Then she started tearing up about the whole loss of "family" (like we all were that close) with the divorce (like they talked to me at all after the separation). When she cries I cry so I was trying to hold it together. Then she starts in on the full blown tears because she isn't a grandma yet and "she wants a grandbaby". I don't need to hear that crap because I already hurt not having a kid. I want one so bad it drives me batty but what can I do? I can't have one now, I'd lose my job. I don't want to have one before I get re-hitched anyway. She thinks she is going to be an ancient grandma but she doesn't realize that I don't want to be an older mother either. Her crying and making me feel like shit doesn't help anything. It just makes it worse.
Alex told me the other day he wasn't ready to get married right now because he wasn't happy with himself. Well I would think if that was holding me back I would start doing something about it. I don't see him doing anything to lose weight which is what he is unhappy about. Eating HUGE portions of food and snacking all through the night doesn't help. I can't help him and I can't ever talk to him about it because he just gets mad. So no self satisfaction, no ring...no babies. *sigh*
So right before the presentations start Fr. Emil who is a youngish priest who will be part of the Sacrament program asks me when he finds out who my mother is (the school secretary) if I was the one getting married...no I say. "Oh is it your sister?" No I don't have a sister. The Sunday School teacher then pipes in, "Jennifer you'll already married aren't you?" Which I have to answer I was 'cause I can't lie *sigh*. So then I mention that I was wanting to get an annulment to which Fr. Emile says he's on the tribunal and we can talk about it afterwards.
So the meeting bombs...for me at least. Being a theatre person I can talk out my ass for ages...have no problem being in front of people but I was not doing well this night. I should have sounded canned and read off my handouts but nooooo I had to try to wing it without reading and sounded lame in the process.
Afterwards. I talked with Fr. Emile in the rectory for a couple minutes about the whole annulment thing. I had to cry of course. Sometimes divorce seems like such a shameful thing, you failed or you didn't try hard enough. He was very kind about it and said some people were just not meant for each other. Then the whole cost of an annulment came up and I burst into tears again..even worse when he said that I wouldn't have to worry about it and that he would have the church take care of it. It's damn expensive and partially the reason I've waited for so long.
So now I have to fill out all the paperwork, obtain witnesses (5 of them), and write out our history (5 pages worth). Then it goes to the diocese tribunal (court) and then to the archdiocese if it makes it through the first round. All this to clear my marriage slate. Or not, as Fr. Emile said, to say it never happened but that it was non Sacramental. *sigh* I don't plan on getting married in the church again but I didn't want to be committing a major "sin" whenever I do get remarried.
Either way my future with communion is doomed..which sucks for my job.
Sometimes religion sucks.
And that brings us to today. My relationship with the secretary at the school is unique because well she's my mom..so I see my mom every day. After school she came into my room to talk with me about something I was angry with her for doing. She had told me that she sent my ex a birthday card. I know she had done this the last two years we were not together as well as to all his family but give me a break...we're divorced now...I have someone new. So I was mad. She said she didn't put love on it or anything. She just wanted to send him one since she sends them to everyone else in his family. I explained why I was angry and she understood but didn't say she'd stop.
Then she started tearing up about the whole loss of "family" (like we all were that close) with the divorce (like they talked to me at all after the separation). When she cries I cry so I was trying to hold it together. Then she starts in on the full blown tears because she isn't a grandma yet and "she wants a grandbaby". I don't need to hear that crap because I already hurt not having a kid. I want one so bad it drives me batty but what can I do? I can't have one now, I'd lose my job. I don't want to have one before I get re-hitched anyway. She thinks she is going to be an ancient grandma but she doesn't realize that I don't want to be an older mother either. Her crying and making me feel like shit doesn't help anything. It just makes it worse.
Alex told me the other day he wasn't ready to get married right now because he wasn't happy with himself. Well I would think if that was holding me back I would start doing something about it. I don't see him doing anything to lose weight which is what he is unhappy about. Eating HUGE portions of food and snacking all through the night doesn't help. I can't help him and I can't ever talk to him about it because he just gets mad. So no self satisfaction, no ring...no babies. *sigh*
9/30/03
California Dreaming
It's too bad California and especially the coast is such a beatiful state, otherwise I'd be getting the hell out. Housing is astronomical and now I'm going to have to vote for an idiot of a governor because I don't want a bigger idiot to take his place. Yes I'm talking about Ah-nold...*grumbles* I signed the petition to get Davis out but I sure as hell do NOT want Arnold to get in. What does he know about politics, about how to run a state, especially one like california? Nada!!
Here are some Arnold gems I found:
Dude is a dolt! *sigh* I was going to vote for Arianna but now I have to vote for the lesser of evils...This sucks.
Here are some Arnold gems I found:
- On Multi-Culturalism -
"I don't understand how they can call me anti-Latino, when I've made four movies in Mexico."
- On Gay Marriage - "No, I do not. I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."
- On the Environment - "Don't worry about that!"
- On the Status of Women - "Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list -- except as tools for my sexual needs."
"It was a handful. I never know if my wife’s watching. I’ll tell her it was a stuntman." [after touching British TV host's breast on air]
[discussing a scene in T3, in which he pushes the female cyborg's face into a toilet bowl] "I saw this toilet bowl. How many times do you get away with this -- to take a woman, grab her upside down, and bury her face in a toilet bowl? I wanted to have something floating there ... The thing is, you can do it, because in the end, I didn't do it to a woman -- she's a machine! We could get away with it without being crucified by who-knows-what group."
- On If He Wins - "I will be governor for the people for a change because, because I want to represent the people because the only thing that counts for me is the people."
Dude is a dolt! *sigh* I was going to vote for Arianna but now I have to vote for the lesser of evils...This sucks.
9/20/03
And So it Continues
The last couple of weeks have been sort of a blur or activity. I thought I had updated but it seems I hadn't. Maybe I just update in my mind.
Anyway my friend Nicholas is on my mind so much now I even dream about him...ahhhhh!
Last Friday during the spelling test he freaked out and just sat there. When I went over to him to see what was the matter, he said I was going too fast. Let me state that our spelling tests take about a half hour due to the lag so I know I was not going too fast. I told him I would go even slower if it would help but he then proceeds to get on the floor and wrap himself around his desk legs in the fetal position. I try to encourage him to get up, I remind him of his responsibilities and consequences..he does not get up. So in the middle of my spelling test with all my other students quietly waiting for the next word I call the office to find someone to extricate him from his desk. The principal came down and pried him off and down to her office.
Of course Nicholas loves to blame me, I go too fast, he wasn't ready to start..etc. etc. Seems it's easier for him to blame others than himself. His parents, the principal and I had a meeting this week to discuss his behavior and what needs to happen for him to continue at the school. He should be starting with a new therapist this coming Monday so that will be good. They also had him tested by Sylvan Learning Center this week and I was blown away by his Language Arts scores. The child was in the 28th percentile with his vocabulary and in the 1st percentile in his comprehension. He's at a preschool level!! This is NOT ok. His emotional and behavioral problems are effecting him terribly. At this point I am at a loss with what to do for him. He is so far behind I don't have the time to work individually with him in class as I teach everyone else. If he gets sent back to first grade he'll be way ahead in his math. Not to mention the new first grade teacher will just want to die as she already has her hands full with a "friend" of her own.
I also have a new student, moved up from first. Daisy is a dear little girl and is fitting in quite well with the class. We were talking about collections the other day and she found out I collected rubber duckies. And wouldn't you know she brought me her two rubber ducks yesterday as a present. Kids amaze me sometimes in their kindness and thoughtfulness.
On the Cal State Teach front I think I'm giving myself an ulcer. The work load is insane. They say you should spend approx. 10-12 hours a week but that is bullshit. If I have to continue at this pace for the next 16 months my hair is truly going to be white. Nice to know I get to plan out my entire year of curriculum in a couple days. Grrr. I may have to go into the split track. It's more money and more time, 20 months to complete, but it won't be so fast.
Anyway my friend Nicholas is on my mind so much now I even dream about him...ahhhhh!
Last Friday during the spelling test he freaked out and just sat there. When I went over to him to see what was the matter, he said I was going too fast. Let me state that our spelling tests take about a half hour due to the lag so I know I was not going too fast. I told him I would go even slower if it would help but he then proceeds to get on the floor and wrap himself around his desk legs in the fetal position. I try to encourage him to get up, I remind him of his responsibilities and consequences..he does not get up. So in the middle of my spelling test with all my other students quietly waiting for the next word I call the office to find someone to extricate him from his desk. The principal came down and pried him off and down to her office.
Of course Nicholas loves to blame me, I go too fast, he wasn't ready to start..etc. etc. Seems it's easier for him to blame others than himself. His parents, the principal and I had a meeting this week to discuss his behavior and what needs to happen for him to continue at the school. He should be starting with a new therapist this coming Monday so that will be good. They also had him tested by Sylvan Learning Center this week and I was blown away by his Language Arts scores. The child was in the 28th percentile with his vocabulary and in the 1st percentile in his comprehension. He's at a preschool level!! This is NOT ok. His emotional and behavioral problems are effecting him terribly. At this point I am at a loss with what to do for him. He is so far behind I don't have the time to work individually with him in class as I teach everyone else. If he gets sent back to first grade he'll be way ahead in his math. Not to mention the new first grade teacher will just want to die as she already has her hands full with a "friend" of her own.
I also have a new student, moved up from first. Daisy is a dear little girl and is fitting in quite well with the class. We were talking about collections the other day and she found out I collected rubber duckies. And wouldn't you know she brought me her two rubber ducks yesterday as a present. Kids amaze me sometimes in their kindness and thoughtfulness.
On the Cal State Teach front I think I'm giving myself an ulcer. The work load is insane. They say you should spend approx. 10-12 hours a week but that is bullshit. If I have to continue at this pace for the next 16 months my hair is truly going to be white. Nice to know I get to plan out my entire year of curriculum in a couple days. Grrr. I may have to go into the split track. It's more money and more time, 20 months to complete, but it won't be so fast.
9/11/03
My Life as it Were
Lots to update on I suppose...
The concert was awesome!! REM puts on the best shows. I have always had the greatest time at the four or five now, I guess, that I've gone too. Funny thing is on Monday when I asked the kids what they did on the weekend one of them says she went to an REM concert. Turns out her parents are friends with REM's gen. manager and they got free tix in the front and went backstage!!! Grrrr no fair! I pouted majorly that day. Her mother is going to give me a copy of the tape? her friend gave her of that night's show. I just thought that was pretty funny one of my kids was there.
Sunday was a bummer because one of our lizards died :( It was a slow yucky death as he had been looking pretty bad for a few days before and all day he was trying to die, almost drowning in his water dish a couple times. I actually was watching as he died. So sad. Even if they are reptiles and aren't "cuddly", it still is sad to see them go through that. I had to cuddle my fuzzies after that.
Last night was Back to School Night or "teacher hell". At my school we have two sessions of 20 min each where you have a spiel for the parents. I started with my rules, procedures, rewards and consequences as that's what I go over first with the kids. Then I went through my curriculum explaining what we will be learning this year in second grade. Next was special activities such as pen pals (crosses fingers and more later) and our field trip. Last was a Q&A session where I got to be grilled by a roomful of parents. All in all I think it went very well. My theatre background comes in very handy as I am not real freaked out by talking in front of people. I made them laugh and made them smile so that's good. The whole reading situation was brought up. Seems the parents were unhappy with their reading level coming out of first grade and wanted to know where I thought they were. So that was pretty hairy for a sec. They all expressed support and confidence in me though so that's good.
Apparently parents had been calling the office today saying how great I was so that makes me feel good. Today was a good day in general. Mainly because Nicholas was not at school. He was suspended due to two instances of striking other students. I have a meeting with his parents tomorrow but there are MAJOR issues with this family that I have been filled in on. I feel badly in a way for saying that we had a better day without him but it is true. It's truly amazing how one child can affect a whole classroom. The kids were more relaxed, on task. It just was a better environment for all. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Our journal this morning was for them to write about their favorite thing about school and what they were looking forward too. We had written about favorite school things a month ago during our first week but I wanted to see if it had changed. Two of the children had written that I was their favorite thing. I can't tell you how that made me feel! I still wasn't sure if the kids even liked me because frankly I am sort of stern at times...you have to be. Between the parents the night before saying how their kids liked me and these journal entries I felt great. Then things only got better. For religion homework they needed to write about their favorite real life hero. Dear little Elizabeth said me...because I was smart and kind and helped her.
It doesn't get any better than that.
The concert was awesome!! REM puts on the best shows. I have always had the greatest time at the four or five now, I guess, that I've gone too. Funny thing is on Monday when I asked the kids what they did on the weekend one of them says she went to an REM concert. Turns out her parents are friends with REM's gen. manager and they got free tix in the front and went backstage!!! Grrrr no fair! I pouted majorly that day. Her mother is going to give me a copy of the tape? her friend gave her of that night's show. I just thought that was pretty funny one of my kids was there.
Sunday was a bummer because one of our lizards died :( It was a slow yucky death as he had been looking pretty bad for a few days before and all day he was trying to die, almost drowning in his water dish a couple times. I actually was watching as he died. So sad. Even if they are reptiles and aren't "cuddly", it still is sad to see them go through that. I had to cuddle my fuzzies after that.
Last night was Back to School Night or "teacher hell". At my school we have two sessions of 20 min each where you have a spiel for the parents. I started with my rules, procedures, rewards and consequences as that's what I go over first with the kids. Then I went through my curriculum explaining what we will be learning this year in second grade. Next was special activities such as pen pals (crosses fingers and more later) and our field trip. Last was a Q&A session where I got to be grilled by a roomful of parents. All in all I think it went very well. My theatre background comes in very handy as I am not real freaked out by talking in front of people. I made them laugh and made them smile so that's good. The whole reading situation was brought up. Seems the parents were unhappy with their reading level coming out of first grade and wanted to know where I thought they were. So that was pretty hairy for a sec. They all expressed support and confidence in me though so that's good.
Apparently parents had been calling the office today saying how great I was so that makes me feel good. Today was a good day in general. Mainly because Nicholas was not at school. He was suspended due to two instances of striking other students. I have a meeting with his parents tomorrow but there are MAJOR issues with this family that I have been filled in on. I feel badly in a way for saying that we had a better day without him but it is true. It's truly amazing how one child can affect a whole classroom. The kids were more relaxed, on task. It just was a better environment for all. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Our journal this morning was for them to write about their favorite thing about school and what they were looking forward too. We had written about favorite school things a month ago during our first week but I wanted to see if it had changed. Two of the children had written that I was their favorite thing. I can't tell you how that made me feel! I still wasn't sure if the kids even liked me because frankly I am sort of stern at times...you have to be. Between the parents the night before saying how their kids liked me and these journal entries I felt great. Then things only got better. For religion homework they needed to write about their favorite real life hero. Dear little Elizabeth said me...because I was smart and kind and helped her.
It doesn't get any better than that.
9/6/03
Out of the Mouths of Babes
I've been pretty frustrated the past 24 hours with a situation at work.
I have been very excited to start a pen pal program with my second graders. I signed up at Epals an online pen pal service for schools around the world two days ago. They seem pretty excited too, telling me which countries they'd like to have pen friends in. So yesterday in my excitement I was pointing on the map the various places I was considering contacting a school. I have many possibilities in the UK, Australia, India, Japan, Russia, Canada, Spain, Italy, Brazil, Venezuela, France, Egypt, Norway etc. Even Uzbekistan, Romania, Pakistan, and Zimbabwe.
What really upset me was when I mentioned Russia my most outspoken charge says, "Eww they're bad people". I then tell her that there are bad people everywhere even in the US. "No there isn't." She's dead serious. When I mention Zimbabwe she says "They're evil." She probably hasn't even heard of Zimbabwe before! And about the Russia thing, this isn't the Cold War! I was shocked. I explained how I felt that there weren't any bad countries in the world just bad people. They seemed less than convinced.
So I thought it was time to break out my Unicef books. They are a wonderful set of books depicting children from around the world. One deals with celebrations, another with children's lifestyles and families and the last is aimed at older children and shows the living, schooling, working conditions of children throughout the world. The photography is stunning and shows things as they are.
Of course my friend Nicholas immediately launches into those people from India are funny looking. I try to explain that people from different cultures look and dress differently from us and that we'd probably look funny to them. He didn't believe me that his light blond hair and blue eyes would be weird to them.
Then things just get better. *smell the sarcasm* Religion was just a mess. They were not retaining anything (Fridays *sigh*). I asked them if the Church and Jesus except everyone? We had been talking about how anyone is welcome to join the church. Alexa then blurts out, "Not people from Iraq!" I ask her, "God doesn't love people from Iraq?" "No they're evil."
I could have cried. You hope as time goes on that people are actually changing, that they are learning about the world. What ever happened to loving each other? For God's sake isn't the Christian way to accept and love others as Jesus would have done? Why am I finding more and more Christians to be so closed minded and condemning. Frankly, Jesus would be ashamed of them. I wish they would realize that. They are what he fought against.
I love everyone regardless or race, religion, or nationality, I don't care if you worship monkeys. It's all the same God in my opinion anyway. The state of today's America as I have said before sickens me. All this nationalistic crap. All this flag waving camaraderie of we are right and they (every one else) is wrong. Bullshit. Iraq isn't evil, Russia is not evil. Sure they have had rulers at times that have been evil people but why don't we look inward and look at our own government? Do we have clean hands? Are we without sin? I should think not! If they are evil so are we and so much more so.
I have been very excited to start a pen pal program with my second graders. I signed up at Epals an online pen pal service for schools around the world two days ago. They seem pretty excited too, telling me which countries they'd like to have pen friends in. So yesterday in my excitement I was pointing on the map the various places I was considering contacting a school. I have many possibilities in the UK, Australia, India, Japan, Russia, Canada, Spain, Italy, Brazil, Venezuela, France, Egypt, Norway etc. Even Uzbekistan, Romania, Pakistan, and Zimbabwe.
What really upset me was when I mentioned Russia my most outspoken charge says, "Eww they're bad people". I then tell her that there are bad people everywhere even in the US. "No there isn't." She's dead serious. When I mention Zimbabwe she says "They're evil." She probably hasn't even heard of Zimbabwe before! And about the Russia thing, this isn't the Cold War! I was shocked. I explained how I felt that there weren't any bad countries in the world just bad people. They seemed less than convinced.
So I thought it was time to break out my Unicef books. They are a wonderful set of books depicting children from around the world. One deals with celebrations, another with children's lifestyles and families and the last is aimed at older children and shows the living, schooling, working conditions of children throughout the world. The photography is stunning and shows things as they are.
Of course my friend Nicholas immediately launches into those people from India are funny looking. I try to explain that people from different cultures look and dress differently from us and that we'd probably look funny to them. He didn't believe me that his light blond hair and blue eyes would be weird to them.
Then things just get better. *smell the sarcasm* Religion was just a mess. They were not retaining anything (Fridays *sigh*). I asked them if the Church and Jesus except everyone? We had been talking about how anyone is welcome to join the church. Alexa then blurts out, "Not people from Iraq!" I ask her, "God doesn't love people from Iraq?" "No they're evil."
I could have cried. You hope as time goes on that people are actually changing, that they are learning about the world. What ever happened to loving each other? For God's sake isn't the Christian way to accept and love others as Jesus would have done? Why am I finding more and more Christians to be so closed minded and condemning. Frankly, Jesus would be ashamed of them. I wish they would realize that. They are what he fought against.
I love everyone regardless or race, religion, or nationality, I don't care if you worship monkeys. It's all the same God in my opinion anyway. The state of today's America as I have said before sickens me. All this nationalistic crap. All this flag waving camaraderie of we are right and they (every one else) is wrong. Bullshit. Iraq isn't evil, Russia is not evil. Sure they have had rulers at times that have been evil people but why don't we look inward and look at our own government? Do we have clean hands? Are we without sin? I should think not! If they are evil so are we and so much more so.
9/2/03
Hooray for Squeakers!
I had been planning on getting Sadie a new little friend soon because I feel badly leaving her all alone during the day and rats are very social. I thought I would get one for her after my first paycheck but Alex just bought me one today :) So sweet he is! She was so cute we just had to take her home! She was the runt of the litter and is just the tiniest little thing. White as can be and just cute as a bug. Like sadie, we were in love with her immediatly. So Chloe is now a wonderful ratty addition to our growing menagerie.
Here are some pics of our little ladies. Sadie is about 6 months old and Chloe is probably a month old.
Here are some pics of our little ladies. Sadie is about 6 months old and Chloe is probably a month old.
9/1/03
Now to Vent
I was asked the other day by a friend (a teacher who hadn't gotten her first job as of yet) if I was having fun in my new job. A couple days later I was asked it again by someone else. My reaction both times was a pause and a "no". My friend got a little pissy with me but I was being honest so sue me!
Not to say I don't like my job or my students or that I'm not grateful for this opportunity. I'm just not having fun yet. I'm hoping I will in a couple weeks when I get used to everything and every one is in the swing of things. Frankly I'm tired and it's a hell of a lot to take in..let alone the responsibility is insane. Things were tough in pre-K but things are tough in Elementary ed in a different way. I am alone in my classroom with my munchkins all day. I am all these kids have and I better not screw it up!
So my friends who started off the week on a less than great note ended the week as such.
My friend Nicholas is a mess, just a total wreak. I have changed his desk repeatedly to try to find a spot where he would be able to focus, where he'd be able to follow class rules and keep his hands to himself. No such luck. The third day of school he received a "Letter of Concern" for hitting and scratching a classmate at lunch recess. He was also sent to the office by me for deciding he needed to stay in the bathroom rather than return to class. He was there for about 15 min before it was time for the kids to go to P.E. At that time I went down there to sit with him and discuss his behavior. Seems some friends didn't want to play with him and in his hurt he hit them. *sigh* We talked about how hitting never solves such problems and that if they were hurting his feelings he should find an adult or myself to discuss the situation. That was Wed. after a note a day was already sent home. Friday was a half day and Nicholas spent some of the day sitting on the floor during Religion with his sweatshirt over his head, or lying face down in the reading area during Language Arts. He was given the option of either taking responsibility for his actions and work at his desk or go down the hall. He chose his classwork but crawled and whined the whole way. Earlier he had come up to me and cried that I had didn't want to help him. This was as I was answering another child's question. Seems I didn't drop what I was doing that second.
I am at a loss. I've had children who hit, I've had children who swore, I've had children who threatened another teacher's life but somehow this one is different. I've never had a child whine and whimper so much. I've tried reasoning with him and it doesn't take.
For instance on Friday he had scooted his desk back from the second row until his back was touching the front left corner of the desk behind him. Then he had his arm draped over poor Kendra's desk. I moved his desk back with him protesting all the while, "she's bothering me!! She always bothers me!" Keep in mind Kendra is one of the most quiet girls in the class. Kendra who is kind to everyone and doesn't speak up when another kids is touching her desk. When I point out that she her arm wasn't on his desk it turned into a, "She doesn't like me!!!" Can you hear it? Can you feel my pain?
I've discussed this with the principal and will be having another conference with the parents this week hopefully. Seems that this behavior has been ongoing since grade K. I would bet that he will not last out the year at the school without some intervention.
My other two friends pale in comparison but I will be speaking to their parents this week also. One is a should have been held back issue, another is a medication issue. I hate lying parents. Don't tell the teacher your child is on medication when she asks yet the child will certainly tell you not only by demeanor but in words. *sigh*
Not to say I don't like my job or my students or that I'm not grateful for this opportunity. I'm just not having fun yet. I'm hoping I will in a couple weeks when I get used to everything and every one is in the swing of things. Frankly I'm tired and it's a hell of a lot to take in..let alone the responsibility is insane. Things were tough in pre-K but things are tough in Elementary ed in a different way. I am alone in my classroom with my munchkins all day. I am all these kids have and I better not screw it up!
So my friends who started off the week on a less than great note ended the week as such.
My friend Nicholas is a mess, just a total wreak. I have changed his desk repeatedly to try to find a spot where he would be able to focus, where he'd be able to follow class rules and keep his hands to himself. No such luck. The third day of school he received a "Letter of Concern" for hitting and scratching a classmate at lunch recess. He was also sent to the office by me for deciding he needed to stay in the bathroom rather than return to class. He was there for about 15 min before it was time for the kids to go to P.E. At that time I went down there to sit with him and discuss his behavior. Seems some friends didn't want to play with him and in his hurt he hit them. *sigh* We talked about how hitting never solves such problems and that if they were hurting his feelings he should find an adult or myself to discuss the situation. That was Wed. after a note a day was already sent home. Friday was a half day and Nicholas spent some of the day sitting on the floor during Religion with his sweatshirt over his head, or lying face down in the reading area during Language Arts. He was given the option of either taking responsibility for his actions and work at his desk or go down the hall. He chose his classwork but crawled and whined the whole way. Earlier he had come up to me and cried that I had didn't want to help him. This was as I was answering another child's question. Seems I didn't drop what I was doing that second.
I am at a loss. I've had children who hit, I've had children who swore, I've had children who threatened another teacher's life but somehow this one is different. I've never had a child whine and whimper so much. I've tried reasoning with him and it doesn't take.
For instance on Friday he had scooted his desk back from the second row until his back was touching the front left corner of the desk behind him. Then he had his arm draped over poor Kendra's desk. I moved his desk back with him protesting all the while, "she's bothering me!! She always bothers me!" Keep in mind Kendra is one of the most quiet girls in the class. Kendra who is kind to everyone and doesn't speak up when another kids is touching her desk. When I point out that she her arm wasn't on his desk it turned into a, "She doesn't like me!!!" Can you hear it? Can you feel my pain?
I've discussed this with the principal and will be having another conference with the parents this week hopefully. Seems that this behavior has been ongoing since grade K. I would bet that he will not last out the year at the school without some intervention.
My other two friends pale in comparison but I will be speaking to their parents this week also. One is a should have been held back issue, another is a medication issue. I hate lying parents. Don't tell the teacher your child is on medication when she asks yet the child will certainly tell you not only by demeanor but in words. *sigh*
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