...and a half day at that.
School is n session and I had my work cut out for me. I am lucky to have a very small class, 9 boys and 7 girls though a couple of them make up for it.
Despite some stomach issues this morning I don't think I showed I was that scared and the day went pretty well...again half day. I found I hadn't planned enough because they were speeding through everything. As if they give you enough room on those damn lesson plan books anyway! It's all about learning for them and me anyway right?
Only had to take back one ticket (the kids earn tickets for being responsible for their actions/good behavior) and write one "bad" note home to parents. Yes it was the same kid. I wrote a "good" note too for a child who went out of his way to help others. I'm hoping my friend Nicholas was just trying to test the new teacher and will toe the line tomorrow. I may have to get him tested for LD as he is showing some signs...that will remain to be seen by the end of the week.
*sigh* It's 6:40 and I'm ready for bed.
I took some pics of my classroom today so after they get developed I'll post them.
8/25/03
Congrats to Lori and Erika
Posted on Sun, Aug. 24, 2003
Henning-Dyson
Lory Anne Henning and Erika White Dyson, both of Brooklyn, N.Y., were married Aug. 16at the home of Ms. Dyson's mother and stepfather in Etna, Maine. A reception followed at the home.
Ms. Henning is the daughter of Kathleen Henning of Ludington, Mich., and the late Charles Skouson. She is a production coordinator for Blue Man Productions in New York.
Ms. Dyson is the daughter of Charlotte and Jared Greene of Etna and Lloyd G. Dyson Jr., of Amesbury, Maine. She is a doctoral candidate at Columbia University in New York.
Standing with Ms. Henning was Eve Muson of Cambridge, Mass. Escorting her down the aisle was Dan Beck of Monterey.
Standing with Ms. Dyson was Lloyd G. Dyson III of Jamaica Plain, Maine.
The couple honeymooned in Nova Scotia, Canada, and the Maine coast. They reside in Brooklyn.
The silly thing is they even made the news due to being the first same-sex marriage announcement in the local paper *rolls eyes* Anyway lots of love to the both of them. Had I been able to afford going to Maine I would have been there last weekend. What a beautiful day for them :)
8/23/03
You Showed Me Yours now I'll Show You Mine
So Britt wanted to see my tat so here goes... Keep in mind the pic is not very good.
I got it as a turning 30, finally graduating college, happy divorce present to myself a little over a year ago. I had always wanted one but my ex would always pitch a fit about how it would "ruin" my body and that I couldn't get one. Yeah and drinking as much as he did wasn't ruining his *eye roll* Damn loser. Anyway...I had even designed one 10 years earlier but had never gotten it done.
The design I ended up with is very meaningful to me on different levels. I've always loved birds. They seem so free and to me this tat had a lot to do with freedom and growth. I also chose to have it done in white ink. I have Vitiligo, have since I was 8. It's a skin disease that leaves white patches on your body due to lack of melanin. I have had a hard time due to this condition and I wanted to make the choice to put white on my body my own self. It turned out beautiful. Almost like a brand..which is what many people who see it think it is. I don't know if it's possible to be in love with a tattoo but I am with mine.
I'd like to get another one cause, yes they are addicting. I'm thinking white stars on my inside wrist but due to teaching at a Catholic School that might not be a good idea.
Actually it's funny when I taught preschool most of the parents were younger than me so they had a lot of piercings and tattoos. The kids were used to seeing them and would often talk about what designs their parents had much to the chagrin of my Mormon co-teacher (she never found out I had one). I often would feel little hands touching it as I would lean over and it was visible (dang pants now-a-days).
One little girl, Emily, drew a picture one day that looks suspiciously like my tattoo...individual feathers and everything. I asked her what it was and she said it was "your bird". LOL!!!
When my mom found out by accident she freaked out, seriously cried and everything. She acted as if I was dead and said she had, had such high hopes for me...*sigh* I was 30 for god's sake!! Anyway she doesn't bring it up much anymore (denial) but she has seen it plenty I'm sure when we go shopping and are in the changing room..lol
My aunt wanted to see it and she goes, "where is it?" Seems she was expecting black line work like my cousins have. If only my mom would look at it and see how beautiful it is :)
I got it as a turning 30, finally graduating college, happy divorce present to myself a little over a year ago. I had always wanted one but my ex would always pitch a fit about how it would "ruin" my body and that I couldn't get one. Yeah and drinking as much as he did wasn't ruining his *eye roll* Damn loser. Anyway...I had even designed one 10 years earlier but had never gotten it done.
The design I ended up with is very meaningful to me on different levels. I've always loved birds. They seem so free and to me this tat had a lot to do with freedom and growth. I also chose to have it done in white ink. I have Vitiligo, have since I was 8. It's a skin disease that leaves white patches on your body due to lack of melanin. I have had a hard time due to this condition and I wanted to make the choice to put white on my body my own self. It turned out beautiful. Almost like a brand..which is what many people who see it think it is. I don't know if it's possible to be in love with a tattoo but I am with mine.
I'd like to get another one cause, yes they are addicting. I'm thinking white stars on my inside wrist but due to teaching at a Catholic School that might not be a good idea.
Actually it's funny when I taught preschool most of the parents were younger than me so they had a lot of piercings and tattoos. The kids were used to seeing them and would often talk about what designs their parents had much to the chagrin of my Mormon co-teacher (she never found out I had one). I often would feel little hands touching it as I would lean over and it was visible (dang pants now-a-days).
One little girl, Emily, drew a picture one day that looks suspiciously like my tattoo...individual feathers and everything. I asked her what it was and she said it was "your bird". LOL!!!
When my mom found out by accident she freaked out, seriously cried and everything. She acted as if I was dead and said she had, had such high hopes for me...*sigh* I was 30 for god's sake!! Anyway she doesn't bring it up much anymore (denial) but she has seen it plenty I'm sure when we go shopping and are in the changing room..lol
My aunt wanted to see it and she goes, "where is it?" Seems she was expecting black line work like my cousins have. If only my mom would look at it and see how beautiful it is :)
8/13/03
Thoughts...
I was thinking the other night about how screwed up things are in the world, particularly in the US. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and be a philanthropist. How I would love to be in the Peace Core in Asia somewhere or bring medical supplies to children in Cuba. I just want to help people. I feel like it's the only worthwhile thing to do.
Alex would like to do it too...we've talked about it often but with his kids here in the states that wouldn't work and the Peace Core doesn't accept Canadians :( Maybe next summer I'll do the Cuba thing. I've wanted to do that for about a year and it's about the only way I could go legally into Cuba. Damn embargo. I could start in on how this country is going down a flaming piece of shit but I don't care to read flag waving responses ;)
All I can do is try to give my students an unbiased world view. I am going to arrange for all of them to have email penpals from all over the world...seems you can't do it by mail anymore(grr). I want to instill a sense of equity with all cultures in their little minds so that they can care for the world like I do. Blind nationalism makes me want to hurl.
Alex would like to do it too...we've talked about it often but with his kids here in the states that wouldn't work and the Peace Core doesn't accept Canadians :( Maybe next summer I'll do the Cuba thing. I've wanted to do that for about a year and it's about the only way I could go legally into Cuba. Damn embargo. I could start in on how this country is going down a flaming piece of shit but I don't care to read flag waving responses ;)
All I can do is try to give my students an unbiased world view. I am going to arrange for all of them to have email penpals from all over the world...seems you can't do it by mail anymore(grr). I want to instill a sense of equity with all cultures in their little minds so that they can care for the world like I do. Blind nationalism makes me want to hurl.
8/11/03
What Grey?
As I was getting ready to take a shower last night I discover, horror of horrors, my second grey hair. And no it wasn't merely grey...it was white. So it went the way of my first grey hair and was plucked out. I had saved the first, god knows where it went so now I have this white one in a little plastic petri dish thing. Don't ask me why I kept it. I think it would be funny to give to my mom. "Here you go mom you have my first haircut hair..now you have my first grey hairs" She's a packrat she'd probably keep it
And on a side note...mental note for future rental and peace of mind:
1)bedrooms far away from adults
2)bathrooms far away from adults
3)males clean the bathroom
4)the men in this house will never, ever, ever learn to replace the damn toilet paper. Grrrrr
And on a side note...mental note for future rental and peace of mind:
1)bedrooms far away from adults
2)bathrooms far away from adults
3)males clean the bathroom
4)the men in this house will never, ever, ever learn to replace the damn toilet paper. Grrrrr
8/7/03
It's About to Begin
Yesterday I had a meeting with the head of the youth ministries at the Mission and with the former 2nd grade teacher to discuss First Communion and all that it entails. *sigh* I just sat like a little sponge trying to soak it up. It makes me afraid. And of course I got the question, not the most feared question, but a question, "Do you go to church at the mission" Ummmmm "I did when I lived in Carmel." Yeah I'm a bad Catholic..hell I'm a normal Catholic.
So then I went to my classroom. They look exactly the same as when I went there, though I didn't go there in 2nd. Except now there is a whiteboard. A WHITEBOARD!!! Can I tell you what teacher heaven that is! I have the only whiteboard in the whole school and I could just kiss it. Alex jokes that I have OCD (Grrr) but I just can't stand to have stuff on my hands and chalk dust makes me want to heave.
Now-a-days each classroom has two computers, it's own overhead (JOY!), and it's own TV and VCR. Luxury I tell ya. So as long as my class size stays at 16 I won't have a coronary. Though when she pulled out my teacher manuals I almost did. Seems there's a new type of reading instruction called Open Court and damn if they don't have second graders reading stuff that looks like it came out of a 5th grade reader.
So here I have all my curriculum and an empty classroom and I'm scared as can be. Two weeks....
Ooooh and as an addition I got accepted into Cal State Teach. So I will be going to school as I teach school. I can make it...well I think I can.
So then I went to my classroom. They look exactly the same as when I went there, though I didn't go there in 2nd. Except now there is a whiteboard. A WHITEBOARD!!! Can I tell you what teacher heaven that is! I have the only whiteboard in the whole school and I could just kiss it. Alex jokes that I have OCD (Grrr) but I just can't stand to have stuff on my hands and chalk dust makes me want to heave.
Now-a-days each classroom has two computers, it's own overhead (JOY!), and it's own TV and VCR. Luxury I tell ya. So as long as my class size stays at 16 I won't have a coronary. Though when she pulled out my teacher manuals I almost did. Seems there's a new type of reading instruction called Open Court and damn if they don't have second graders reading stuff that looks like it came out of a 5th grade reader.
So here I have all my curriculum and an empty classroom and I'm scared as can be. Two weeks....
Ooooh and as an addition I got accepted into Cal State Teach. So I will be going to school as I teach school. I can make it...well I think I can.
8/3/03
A Certain Sort of Guilt
Yesterday, I went to Emily's 5th birthday party. She was one of my preschool students and is also going to attend JSS next year. That, I think, is going to be pretty unique, teaching a student in two stages of her life.
As always it's great to see all the kids. They always seem so thrilled to see me, "Ms. Jennifer, Ms. Jennifer you came!". They hugged me and sat with me, drug me into the bounce house (which I had never done before) and all taking turns being the one to hold my hand. Nothing makes you feel love like preschoolers I say. They are free to show you and they do it often.
Most of the parents there know that I am not coming back. Three of them are very close friends of each other and friends of mine. They in turn have told a few others. It was a topic of the day, my new employment. I had hoped the school would make a formal announcement but they hadn't so one family found out when another parent asked me when my new job started. The look on that mothers face was pure shock and panic. I hadn't meant for people to find out that way. As the party drew on it had been mentioned that Teagan was leaving "she wouldn't be challenged next year", Lyla's mom was trying to forge her birth certificate to show she was two weeks older so she could attend Kindergarten this year, "I only had her there because of you." And the two very influential university staff parents whose children were moving over from the toddler side had already pulled their children out of the school. I know it was because I wasn't going to be there.
So now I have this bit of guilt. Don't take me wrong I wouldn't have given up this opportunity of a lifetime to be at the school I always dreamed I would, but I do feel badly that I am causing people to leave the center. I couldn't have been the only good thing at the center.
I will miss my babies, miss their hugs and their little hands, their smiles and their funny jokes, miss them shouting, "look what I learned!"
Yesterday 3 year old Adara told me a joke I'd like to share:
As always it's great to see all the kids. They always seem so thrilled to see me, "Ms. Jennifer, Ms. Jennifer you came!". They hugged me and sat with me, drug me into the bounce house (which I had never done before) and all taking turns being the one to hold my hand. Nothing makes you feel love like preschoolers I say. They are free to show you and they do it often.
Most of the parents there know that I am not coming back. Three of them are very close friends of each other and friends of mine. They in turn have told a few others. It was a topic of the day, my new employment. I had hoped the school would make a formal announcement but they hadn't so one family found out when another parent asked me when my new job started. The look on that mothers face was pure shock and panic. I hadn't meant for people to find out that way. As the party drew on it had been mentioned that Teagan was leaving "she wouldn't be challenged next year", Lyla's mom was trying to forge her birth certificate to show she was two weeks older so she could attend Kindergarten this year, "I only had her there because of you." And the two very influential university staff parents whose children were moving over from the toddler side had already pulled their children out of the school. I know it was because I wasn't going to be there.
So now I have this bit of guilt. Don't take me wrong I wouldn't have given up this opportunity of a lifetime to be at the school I always dreamed I would, but I do feel badly that I am causing people to leave the center. I couldn't have been the only good thing at the center.
I will miss my babies, miss their hugs and their little hands, their smiles and their funny jokes, miss them shouting, "look what I learned!"
Yesterday 3 year old Adara told me a joke I'd like to share:
"Ms. Jennifer wanna hear a dirty joke?"
"Uh...ok"
"A pig went into the mud" (she laughs hysterically)"That's really dirty huh?"
7/27/03
Adios Motherfucker (Debauchery Within)
Last night was my best friend's 29th b'day party...grr to her not being in her 30's yet. LOL I went up to San Jose Friday night late so I could help her get ready all day Sat. The theme was a fetish party, though rather low key in reality. I mean we are just talking about adults dressing in revealing costumes and getting wasted. Amber and I went to an adult store and got tons of fun partyish things to decorate with. She didn't want the "pin the manhood on the man" game though. Oh well, her loss. Then I got busy with finding and mixing the most lethal drinks I could find. So we had vats of "Adios Motherfucker" and "Hawaiian Spooge".
My outfit was kind of a bummer. I had brought two with me just in case one didn't work out which was such a good thing. I was thinking of wearing my old fashioned playboy bunny costume, complete with a pink satin corset but I had left my dance pants at home and no way was I going to walk around in see through black lace panties, party or no party. So I ended up wearing my catholic school girl outfit. Ehh whatever I wasn't there to impress.
We had decided early on that the "AMF" drink had to be a shot drink, that it was too lethal any other way. It was a very popular one however and everyone was having a great time. I, of course, was the lone sober person which is what usually happens. It's not like I choose it, it just happens as I have some funky tolerance of steel.
At one point in the night I had had three shots Of "AMF" and four mixed drinks and was stone cold sober. It was announced that I was always like this so one of the larger guys there proceeds to claim that he was going to "drink me under the table". Yeah ok, whatever dude. I dated a Swede and he couldn't even do that. So being up for a challenge I go over to the vat and we have a shot. Ten min later dude is still talking smack saying "You're going down" and "I'm Irish" and he dares me to have another shot..Ok so I do. He gets himself one and it's only filled halfway. I call him on it and make him fill it to the brim. More shit talking.
Let me just say no more than 20 min later he says, "The room is spinning" and promptly goes into the bathroom to puke and remains there for the next three hours!!!! So then one of Amber's female coworkers decides I was faking or something cause she says I don't believe you have another one. *sigh* Let's just say I had approx. 8 shots and 6 large mixed cocktails and I was the only one up at 9 am, hangover free, cleaning the whole house. Now kids I don't recommend that to anyone I mean, I made a grown man cry in the bathroom (I did keep getting him water though cause I'm nice like that)but sometimes it's a bitch to be sober. I don't think I'll ever have to prove myself again.
Anyway it was a pretty fun night..lots of loonies, some really good convos, and seeing Amber get shackled to a ladder and smacked with a wip 29 times, all the while cracking up in her pink dayglo wig, made dealing with everyone's hangover crankiness the next day worth it.
My outfit was kind of a bummer. I had brought two with me just in case one didn't work out which was such a good thing. I was thinking of wearing my old fashioned playboy bunny costume, complete with a pink satin corset but I had left my dance pants at home and no way was I going to walk around in see through black lace panties, party or no party. So I ended up wearing my catholic school girl outfit. Ehh whatever I wasn't there to impress.
We had decided early on that the "AMF" drink had to be a shot drink, that it was too lethal any other way. It was a very popular one however and everyone was having a great time. I, of course, was the lone sober person which is what usually happens. It's not like I choose it, it just happens as I have some funky tolerance of steel.
At one point in the night I had had three shots Of "AMF" and four mixed drinks and was stone cold sober. It was announced that I was always like this so one of the larger guys there proceeds to claim that he was going to "drink me under the table". Yeah ok, whatever dude. I dated a Swede and he couldn't even do that. So being up for a challenge I go over to the vat and we have a shot. Ten min later dude is still talking smack saying "You're going down" and "I'm Irish" and he dares me to have another shot..Ok so I do. He gets himself one and it's only filled halfway. I call him on it and make him fill it to the brim. More shit talking.
Let me just say no more than 20 min later he says, "The room is spinning" and promptly goes into the bathroom to puke and remains there for the next three hours!!!! So then one of Amber's female coworkers decides I was faking or something cause she says I don't believe you have another one. *sigh* Let's just say I had approx. 8 shots and 6 large mixed cocktails and I was the only one up at 9 am, hangover free, cleaning the whole house. Now kids I don't recommend that to anyone I mean, I made a grown man cry in the bathroom (I did keep getting him water though cause I'm nice like that)but sometimes it's a bitch to be sober. I don't think I'll ever have to prove myself again.
Anyway it was a pretty fun night..lots of loonies, some really good convos, and seeing Amber get shackled to a ladder and smacked with a wip 29 times, all the while cracking up in her pink dayglo wig, made dealing with everyone's hangover crankiness the next day worth it.
7/25/03
Yeah Baby
Today was another drama filled day. I have no idea why Alex cannot have one cranky free day. I don't understand why life has to be so hard. And here I was stoked to get to see Tomb Raider and the day was *that* close to be ruined. *sigh*
Oh well we saw it and...yeah...Angelina rocks. I love her. Ya know it's not the best flick in the world but from the time I started playing the games years ago I was enthralled with the smart, globe trotting, butt kicking brunette heroine. The fact that Angelina plays the character in the movies just makes it all the better.
Oh well we saw it and...yeah...Angelina rocks. I love her. Ya know it's not the best flick in the world but from the time I started playing the games years ago I was enthralled with the smart, globe trotting, butt kicking brunette heroine. The fact that Angelina plays the character in the movies just makes it all the better.
7/24/03
Aren't Roller Coasters Supposed to be Fun?
Sunday we took the kids to Paramount's Great America with my best friend. Alex's statement towards the end of the day. "Never again!"
I thought as a teen you're supposed to love roller coasters, you love amusement parks? I did when I used to go there as a teen. Sadly the day held no amusement.
Early on we went on Rip Roaring Rapids, a ride I've never been too thrilled about, something about walking around in wet clothes all day, don't really like it. Of course I got completely drenched, worse than I ever had before. Seriously not a dry section on my body. The worst thing was that at the last "pay money to completely flood the tube of strangers" spot, Alex's new and expensive glasses flew off and haven't been seen since. Then the day just seemed to get better.
Emrys refused to ride anything. He was bored, he was hot, his legs were tired, he had a headache, he was DYING of thirst. Seriously I've never seen a kid look so morose in such an environment. You'd think we were leading him off to listen to Lawrence Welk for 6 hours. Alex finally gave him some money and sent him off to play at the arcade for the second time that day. Bethia was a good sport and rode the roller coasters with me but we didn't even ride the Demon. We missed about half of the rides, something I've never done. So Alex is right, never again, for as much as a day in the park with four people costs I could be heading somewhere tropical.
We are learning so much this summer, or at least I am.
I thought as a teen you're supposed to love roller coasters, you love amusement parks? I did when I used to go there as a teen. Sadly the day held no amusement.
Early on we went on Rip Roaring Rapids, a ride I've never been too thrilled about, something about walking around in wet clothes all day, don't really like it. Of course I got completely drenched, worse than I ever had before. Seriously not a dry section on my body. The worst thing was that at the last "pay money to completely flood the tube of strangers" spot, Alex's new and expensive glasses flew off and haven't been seen since. Then the day just seemed to get better.
Emrys refused to ride anything. He was bored, he was hot, his legs were tired, he had a headache, he was DYING of thirst. Seriously I've never seen a kid look so morose in such an environment. You'd think we were leading him off to listen to Lawrence Welk for 6 hours. Alex finally gave him some money and sent him off to play at the arcade for the second time that day. Bethia was a good sport and rode the roller coasters with me but we didn't even ride the Demon. We missed about half of the rides, something I've never done. So Alex is right, never again, for as much as a day in the park with four people costs I could be heading somewhere tropical.
We are learning so much this summer, or at least I am.
A Late Update
NAVY SEALS ACCIDENTALLY STARTED FIRE
Fort Ord: Blaze rages as crews work to contain it
"...A military spokeswoman had said Thursday that no training was going on near the fire's origin at the FBI's Military Operations on Urban Terrain area -- a compound of buildings and streets nestled in a wooded area off Eucalyptus Road near Barloy Canyon Road.
But on Friday, Installation Commander Lt. Col. Jeffrey Cairns said a team of Navy special forces was on the site on Thursday and unintentionally started the blaze while preparing to leave about 3 p.m.
"There was training involving blank ammunition and smoke grenades," Cairns said. "We believe a smoke grenade likely started it yesterday afternoon."
SEALs were finishing up training and were setting off ammunition and smoke grenades that had not been used during their training, said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Jeff Bender, a spokesman for the Navy's Special Warfare Command Center in Coronado. He would not say how long the team had been at the site, but nearby residents reported hearing machine-gun fire and explosions beginning on Tuesday."
This was the headline last Saturday on the front page of the paper. When you are right, you're right.
7/18/03
How Ironic
There's a fire burning pretty close to my house. As of 11 pm it was up to 1000 acres. Guess where it is. Yep you guessed it, right next to the forbidden city. Alex and I when we heard the news were taking bets on whether it was started by a wayward shell or flare or some such other nonsense they were playing with up there.
Of course they won't directly say they caused it and gee it's so funny how they, all of a sudden, stopped shooting after 4 whole days once the fire started. Bastards. They can't even work on containing it right now cause it's in an area of unexploded ordinance and stuff is blowing up all over the place.
Of course they won't directly say they caused it and gee it's so funny how they, all of a sudden, stopped shooting after 4 whole days once the fire started. Bastards. They can't even work on containing it right now cause it's in an area of unexploded ordinance and stuff is blowing up all over the place.
7/15/03
Awake and Not in a Good Way
Thank you Forbidden City.
Thank you for firing explosives after midnight. Thank you for deciding someone can play post apocalyptic urban soldier in the middle of the night. I realize it's for the benefit all of the US of A when the rest of the world comes gunning for us. I don't mind feeling like I'm in Iraq or being able to count how many rounds you guys are shooting off. Yeah, I'm sure the kids don't mind either....Grrrrrr
For those that don't know I live on a massive former Army base, half of it is still Army property..the other half a university. Ironic isn't it? Anyway, there's an area up in the mountains called the Forbidden City. It's a scale replica of a city made entirely out of cinder blocks complete with a sewer system. High up military types, CIA, FBI, Navy Seals get to go play GI Urban Assault Joe and shoot like crazy up there. Usually at night cause jeeze we like to shoot people at night don't we? I've even seen those yucky silent huge ass helicopters fly in a formation over campus housing a few times. Gotta love big brother.
Tonight isn't just assault riffle rounds, it's bomb blasts. I would appreciate it if they leave the bombing out of it.
Thank you for firing explosives after midnight. Thank you for deciding someone can play post apocalyptic urban soldier in the middle of the night. I realize it's for the benefit all of the US of A when the rest of the world comes gunning for us. I don't mind feeling like I'm in Iraq or being able to count how many rounds you guys are shooting off. Yeah, I'm sure the kids don't mind either....Grrrrrr
For those that don't know I live on a massive former Army base, half of it is still Army property..the other half a university. Ironic isn't it? Anyway, there's an area up in the mountains called the Forbidden City. It's a scale replica of a city made entirely out of cinder blocks complete with a sewer system. High up military types, CIA, FBI, Navy Seals get to go play GI Urban Assault Joe and shoot like crazy up there. Usually at night cause jeeze we like to shoot people at night don't we? I've even seen those yucky silent huge ass helicopters fly in a formation over campus housing a few times. Gotta love big brother.
Tonight isn't just assault riffle rounds, it's bomb blasts. I would appreciate it if they leave the bombing out of it.
7/14/03
Cars are the Devil
I just got off the phone with my new principal. Why should it matter to her that I don't drive? Why should she make it some personal professional goal for me to get my license? Why should she even give a shit? I have never let my lack of driving effect my work, my schooling, anything! It makes me so damn angry. She wouldn't shut up about it and I'm the type of person who, you try to force me to do something like that and I push all the harder back to not do it.
Yes, I am 31 and I don't drive. I don't want to drive. It scares the crap out of me. I've tried to get my license and both tests were horrifying. Why can't people just understand that you aren't incapacitated and that maybe some people choose not to drive? I fucking hate America and it's stupid SUV obsession..its now, now, now attitude. Why can't I be in the UK where sane people take the tube to work and buses and trains?
Yes, I am 31 and I don't drive. I don't want to drive. It scares the crap out of me. I've tried to get my license and both tests were horrifying. Why can't people just understand that you aren't incapacitated and that maybe some people choose not to drive? I fucking hate America and it's stupid SUV obsession..its now, now, now attitude. Why can't I be in the UK where sane people take the tube to work and buses and trains?
7/11/03
Coolness
I touched one of those today!!! I am in awe.
I have been in a teacher institute at the Monterey Bay Aquarium for the past week. For those that do not know. MBA is just about the best aquarium in the world and it's right in my back yard. It's actually turning 20 next year. I was given the opportunity to participate in this institute for Pre-K to 2nd grade teachers. It was a week long, all day long program geared towards teaching science in your classroom, specifically marine, life, and conservation. It was an exhausting albeit wonderful week. They Aquarium was overly generous in supplying us with supplies, books, cds, food, and stipends for even being involved in the program. Then they pair you with an Aquarium educator buddy who comes to your class three times to work with your kids in science. Then you have a field trip. Excellent.
We took a behind the scenes of the Aquarium tour today and I touched a Moon Jelly. It was magic.
7/1/03
Frustration
Sometimes I just want to kick certain people.
Dan, my ex husband, called me today to tell me he was sending me $200.00 (out of the $1400.00 he owes me). He proceeds to go on and on about how he misses me every day and how he misses my widow's peak and whatever other body part he happens to throw in that day. Told me he loves me. How the hell does he expect me to react? I don't give a damn that he dreams of me or that he can't get over me. I mean he couldn't say anything nice when we were together. All I got then was awful, evil shit I can't even repeat it hurts so bad. Obsession over body parts just makes me feel like the sex object he kept wanting me to be. He was too lame to realize that words and actions really affected my perception and desire of him.
All I could say was, "Dan it's been two years". I have no other reaction to him when he says these things. Apparently he tried to date but can't...talks about me all the time. *sigh* He knows I've moved on and am quite happy, at least I've told him that. Whether or not it computes is another thing.
What really pissed me off was the fact he mentioned a son of some friends of his (former friends of mine). He said how the kid was so great and how wonderful it was to play with him and be with him, hold him...how he'd like to have a kid. I could vomit...really. I told him I never wanted to hear those words come out of his mouth. HOW DARE HE??? Besides the alcohol consumption, the children issue was the largest problem. He knew I wanted a baby so bad and yet changed his mind on me saying no. To hear him say that kind of shit makes me livid.
I also found out he's good friends with some older woman who's a new teacher at the school I'm going to teach at. She knows all about me. I don't even have to explain why that's irritating. She better not EVER talk to me about him.
It just upsets me how no matter how happy and stable I am with Alex, Dan still can piss me off to no end and remind me of how we were a failure. I never expected to get divorced. When I got married it was for good and it still hurts that it has gone down like it did. And he telling me all this crap, how the hell am I supposed to react? Am I supposed to run back to him or something? It's no going to happen...it's too late.
Dan, my ex husband, called me today to tell me he was sending me $200.00 (out of the $1400.00 he owes me). He proceeds to go on and on about how he misses me every day and how he misses my widow's peak and whatever other body part he happens to throw in that day. Told me he loves me. How the hell does he expect me to react? I don't give a damn that he dreams of me or that he can't get over me. I mean he couldn't say anything nice when we were together. All I got then was awful, evil shit I can't even repeat it hurts so bad. Obsession over body parts just makes me feel like the sex object he kept wanting me to be. He was too lame to realize that words and actions really affected my perception and desire of him.
All I could say was, "Dan it's been two years". I have no other reaction to him when he says these things. Apparently he tried to date but can't...talks about me all the time. *sigh* He knows I've moved on and am quite happy, at least I've told him that. Whether or not it computes is another thing.
What really pissed me off was the fact he mentioned a son of some friends of his (former friends of mine). He said how the kid was so great and how wonderful it was to play with him and be with him, hold him...how he'd like to have a kid. I could vomit...really. I told him I never wanted to hear those words come out of his mouth. HOW DARE HE??? Besides the alcohol consumption, the children issue was the largest problem. He knew I wanted a baby so bad and yet changed his mind on me saying no. To hear him say that kind of shit makes me livid.
I also found out he's good friends with some older woman who's a new teacher at the school I'm going to teach at. She knows all about me. I don't even have to explain why that's irritating. She better not EVER talk to me about him.
It just upsets me how no matter how happy and stable I am with Alex, Dan still can piss me off to no end and remind me of how we were a failure. I never expected to get divorced. When I got married it was for good and it still hurts that it has gone down like it did. And he telling me all this crap, how the hell am I supposed to react? Am I supposed to run back to him or something? It's no going to happen...it's too late.
6/29/03
Life as a Mommy...Or Something Like It
We picked the kids up yesterday, both looking taller than ever. I don't know what they put in the water now a days but it's probably all the hormones in the milk or something.
We spent the late afternoon traipsing through the Valley Fair mall trying to find a couch cover for the nasty couch since the hamster bit a huge hole through the last one. Bethia and I ended up going into Limited Too, each getting a pet pet plushie. I bought a kadoatie and she got a ba baa. Very cute!
Next to target to pick out the couch cover we couldn't find at Macy's and new bedding for the kids. This brought us home very late so we ended up eating at 10 pm. Not the best schedule wise. We had a great talk after dinner. It felt very good for all of us to be able to communicate like that. There were no upset feelings like some of the convos at Christmas and everyone was able to open up. Both the kids expressed an interest in living with us if their mother had to move out of their current school district and enroll them in new schools. Seems the only thing keeping them there at the moment are their friends, at least in Bethia's case.
Today is a lazy day. We are eating breakfast late and plan to take the kids out to Indian for dinner. A new adventure..lol
OMG I just realized...there was no angst in this post...none....haha...weird.
We spent the late afternoon traipsing through the Valley Fair mall trying to find a couch cover for the nasty couch since the hamster bit a huge hole through the last one. Bethia and I ended up going into Limited Too, each getting a pet pet plushie. I bought a kadoatie and she got a ba baa. Very cute!
Next to target to pick out the couch cover we couldn't find at Macy's and new bedding for the kids. This brought us home very late so we ended up eating at 10 pm. Not the best schedule wise. We had a great talk after dinner. It felt very good for all of us to be able to communicate like that. There were no upset feelings like some of the convos at Christmas and everyone was able to open up. Both the kids expressed an interest in living with us if their mother had to move out of their current school district and enroll them in new schools. Seems the only thing keeping them there at the moment are their friends, at least in Bethia's case.
Today is a lazy day. We are eating breakfast late and plan to take the kids out to Indian for dinner. A new adventure..lol
OMG I just realized...there was no angst in this post...none....haha...weird.
6/27/03
I Am So Going to Throw Up
So Alex is coming home and then we will head over to the center so I can turn in my resignation. I just called to see if my boss (soon to be former) was there and she was. She was so nice and happy to talk to me. She even said "Oooh I can't wait to see you" No you don't..you don't want to because I'm the doom faeire. *sigh* I don't know if I can handle this. I've never had to resign and this is going to completely blindside them. Why do I feel evil when I'm finally doing something that is GOOD for me. I would be an idiot if I didn't take this opportunity and I just hope they see that.
6/25/03
6/24/03
Preparing for D-Day
I woke up this morning to a call from the principal at my prospective new job. We set up another interview tomorrow to talk over "ideas and possibilities" *sigh* I HATE waiting.
I'm scared about the whole prospect really. I've become quite comfortable in my situation as a Pre-K teacher. I know I am the best teacher these little ones can have. Sure lots of stuff at work stinks but there's a lot of positives as well....the kids and housing with free cable modems being one.
A new job means having to move again, not having the security ion the position I have now. I am having real fear wondering if I can actually teach older ones. I'm sure I can, I just am scared about it. I mean my god now I'm going to have to teach them how to read!!! This is if I get first of course.
Second grade is another story. Two teachers, the Vice Principal and the former Second Grade teacher (she's now moving to 8th)have said they think I would be excellent in 2nd. This is a major freak out point for me because as the 2nd grade teacher I would have to teach and plan the kids first Penance (confession) and first Holy Eucharist (communion). This is a BIG deal. To be in charge of First Communion for the Carmel Mission Basilica, the most famous mission of the California Missions is a HUGE deal. Not forgetting that I never had my own first Penance because I don't believe in it and neither does my mother...lol I've had almost all the other sacraments including Last Rights.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens. After all I believe things happen for a reason and if 2nd is where I am supposed to be...then 2nd it is.
I'm scared about the whole prospect really. I've become quite comfortable in my situation as a Pre-K teacher. I know I am the best teacher these little ones can have. Sure lots of stuff at work stinks but there's a lot of positives as well....the kids and housing with free cable modems being one.
A new job means having to move again, not having the security ion the position I have now. I am having real fear wondering if I can actually teach older ones. I'm sure I can, I just am scared about it. I mean my god now I'm going to have to teach them how to read!!! This is if I get first of course.
Second grade is another story. Two teachers, the Vice Principal and the former Second Grade teacher (she's now moving to 8th)have said they think I would be excellent in 2nd. This is a major freak out point for me because as the 2nd grade teacher I would have to teach and plan the kids first Penance (confession) and first Holy Eucharist (communion). This is a BIG deal. To be in charge of First Communion for the Carmel Mission Basilica, the most famous mission of the California Missions is a HUGE deal. Not forgetting that I never had my own first Penance because I don't believe in it and neither does my mother...lol I've had almost all the other sacraments including Last Rights.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens. After all I believe things happen for a reason and if 2nd is where I am supposed to be...then 2nd it is.
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