I'm a lame person. I have been entrenched in misery and so as to spare you all, have kept to myself. Probably not a good move but no one likes a downer.
Anyway, I should probably fill you all in on me these past couple months. The beginning of this post is a rant, or brain dump as I call them, I wrote about a month and a half ago. Read at your own risk.
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Warning: If you are a guy you probably don't want to read this. If you get easily skeeved out by body fluids you don't want to read this. If you don't want to listen to me whine, well, there's the "back" button...
I'm turning into a Bitter Betty. My last few months have been children obsessed. I'm not even talking about my 5th graders. Ugh I try to forget them as much as possible (at least the 4 kids that make every day a living hell). I'm talking about making a child obsession.
For the past 6 months my life has been TTC hell and frankly I'm tired of it and it's making me bitter.
Honestly I think HS health teachers are friggen liars! "Oh don't have unprotected sex, you'll get pregnant! Don't pull out, she'll get pregnant. Don't let him breathe on you, you'll get pregnant." Bullshit! How can two people have so much unprotected sex and not get knocked up? Every other day and then some people.
I am tired. I am tired of all the charting, taking my temp before my eyes even open and analyzing it every freaking day. I'm tired of fingering myself multiple times a day to check for...wait for it...cervical mucus. Poor Alex knows more about CM than any man should. I'm tired on peeing on stick to see if I'm ovulating and two weeks later peeing on sticks, hoping to see two lines and only ever getting one.
I'm tired of the PNVs, soy isoflaves, Omega 369, cranberry, green tea, magnesium, grapefruit juice, and baby carrots. I'm tired of all the psychosomatic symptoms and weird twinges. I'm tired of hoping every month to only have those hopes dashed on a negative pee stick or seeing spotting. And the sad thing is no matter how tired I am of it all I'll keep doing it until we reach our goal.
I know it's only been six months (we "officially" started in June but were not preventing from April on) but six months more will surely drive me batshit insane or make me incredibly depressed. If I hear, "just relax, it'll happen" one more time I'm going to punch that person in the face. Relaxing doesn't get you knocked up. We tried that anyway. I'm freaking 35 1/2. I don't have time to "relax". I already feel like I've deprived my future child of time with my mom or, God forbid, my Grammy. This breaks my heart. Obviously many women have babies later but I never thought I'd be childless at 35, never.
To make matters worse, pregnant people are everywhere. My friends, co-workers, old ex-friends (with twins for christsake!) are all knocked up. I ride the bus home and pregnant women or women with newborns just have to sit next to me out of all the seats they could choose. I hate being bitter and angry that I'm not one of them, but I am. It makes me feel so, so sad. So here I am admitting my green eyed monster and my fear that it'll never be me.
So where do we go from here? We keep trying.I keep temping. I keep praying for two lines and a "sticky bean". We endure sex with cups, ultrasounds, and bloodtests, hoping we are ok, that I'm ok. That's its just me that is tired and not my eggs.
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So that was a little over a month and a half and another BFN ago. I'm now on cycle 8. We have started fertility testing with a specialist. I have endured being poked by needles and having various liquids and devices shoved up my cervix (Boo to balloons and dye) and insurance not covering any of it. Oh yeah, the Catholic Church doesn't like fertility treatments. They think it's "degrading to the baby". Luckily everything is normal so far. Now we are just waiting on Alex's boys' results and lucky me gets to have a uterine biopsy and possible LAP. Oh joy!
I'm just really hoping that we get pregnant soon. My hope for a summer baby is gone and now I'll just take one whenever.
Of course that's just the half of it. My life is pretty much crap due to one student in particular but I'll save that rant for another time.
11/12/07
8/25/07
7/17/07
Stupid Family Drama
I don't know why the only time Alex and I fight is when the kids are here. Things have been great the past three months. A couple days with both of them here and he becomes a screaming ass.
I shouldn't really call it a fight because really it's just Alex being pissed. Apparently Bethia is sooooo sad because she couldn't see her new boyfriend. He lives in Gilroy and she wanted to go see him and stay overnight at his house and come home the next day on the bus. Supposedly the bus schedule doesn't work for her to go visit. Alex said he'd have to meet this dude's parents first before she could. Well she cried her eyes out.
Then he freaking caved and said *I* could meet the mom when they came to pick Bethia up and see if she's ok. I gave him a look to say, "why the hell did you cave?" and he freaks out on me. He goes, "What's that look for?". I said how I didn't approve but that it wasn't my choice. He already knew how I felt about her going to Gilroy to stay at her bf's house but he still kept pressing me on why I made a face. So then he got all mad saying he'd come home from work then and when I went into his office to talk to him he screamed at me to get the fuck out. I of course wouldn't until he asked me in a calm manner. That resulted in him calling me a bitch and leaving the house.
Fucking nice. We were fine, great, and then shit hits the fan. I'm tired of it. The kids are fucking drama. I'm sorry that I don't find that appropriate. I know what can happen even under parent's noses. Just because Alex was sleeping around at 14 doesn't make it ok in my eyes to even give Bethia the opportunity. I also don't appreciate that he called me a bitch in front of the kids. That's inexcuseable.
I'm pissed and I'm doubly pissed that I don't get to explain my feelings because he gets mad and storms off.
I shouldn't really call it a fight because really it's just Alex being pissed. Apparently Bethia is sooooo sad because she couldn't see her new boyfriend. He lives in Gilroy and she wanted to go see him and stay overnight at his house and come home the next day on the bus. Supposedly the bus schedule doesn't work for her to go visit. Alex said he'd have to meet this dude's parents first before she could. Well she cried her eyes out.
Then he freaking caved and said *I* could meet the mom when they came to pick Bethia up and see if she's ok. I gave him a look to say, "why the hell did you cave?" and he freaks out on me. He goes, "What's that look for?". I said how I didn't approve but that it wasn't my choice. He already knew how I felt about her going to Gilroy to stay at her bf's house but he still kept pressing me on why I made a face. So then he got all mad saying he'd come home from work then and when I went into his office to talk to him he screamed at me to get the fuck out. I of course wouldn't until he asked me in a calm manner. That resulted in him calling me a bitch and leaving the house.
Fucking nice. We were fine, great, and then shit hits the fan. I'm tired of it. The kids are fucking drama. I'm sorry that I don't find that appropriate. I know what can happen even under parent's noses. Just because Alex was sleeping around at 14 doesn't make it ok in my eyes to even give Bethia the opportunity. I also don't appreciate that he called me a bitch in front of the kids. That's inexcuseable.
I'm pissed and I'm doubly pissed that I don't get to explain my feelings because he gets mad and storms off.
6/30/07
Rest in Peace, Dear Hearts
This week has just been too hard. Two loses.
I just found out Jerry Gill passed away yesterday from liver cancer. Very few people even knew he was sick. The family wanted it that way I was told. This just breaks my heart.
Jerry was really the first director who truly believed in me and gave me a chance. I didn't look the part of Honey in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf but he cast me out a whole room full of great women due to my talent. Because of that role, doors really opened to me. I will forever be grateful.
I'll never forget the "Freaky Fridays", my 2 year stint of hanging with "GillStone", and the love and support I received from him. He will truly be missed.
I also lost my sweet baby Daisy on Wednesday night. I'll write more about that later. I just can't deal with any more death at the moment.
6/24/07
Loneliness is a Bitch
At risk of sounding like an AW loser I just have to say that I am so damn lonely. Alex has been gone for over a week and it looks like he will be gone for all of next week too. I'm just rattling around in this apartment by myself with no desire to do much of anything but sleep and cry every now and again. I have spent some time with my mom which is nice but it doesn't help the aching loneliness go away. It seems everyone is too busy as well which doesn't help. It's always better for him to be out of town when I'm working because I at least have something to occupy my time and Bethia to talk to.
I need some cheese to go with my whine.
I need some cheese to go with my whine.
6/18/07
Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please!
By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer 49 minutes ago
Sen. Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) launched a presidential campaign Tuesday that would make him the first black to occupy the White House, and immediately tried to turn his political inexperience into an asset with voters seeking change.
The freshman Illinois senator — and top contender for the Democratic nomination — said the past six years have left the country in a precarious place and he promoted himself as the standard-bearer for a new kind of politics.
"Our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, commonsense way," Obama said in a video posted on his Web site. "Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can't tackle the big problems that demand solutions. And that's what we have to change first."
Obama filed paperwork forming a presidential exploratory committee that allows him to raise money and put together a campaign structure. He is expected to announce a full-fledged candidacy on Feb. 10 in Springfield, Ill., where he can tout his experience in the state legislature and tap into the legacy of hometown hero Abraham Lincoln.
In a brief interview on Capitol Hill, Obama said the reaction has been positive and added, "we wouldn't have gone forward this far if it hadn't been this positive."
Obama's soft-spoken appeal on the stump, his unique background, his opposition to the Iraq war and his fresh face set him apart in a competitive race that also is expected to include front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York.
Obama has uncommon political talents, drawing adoring crowds even among the studious voters in New Hampshire during a much-hyped visit there last month. His star has risen on the force of his personality and message of hope — helped along by celebrity endorsements from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, billionaire investor Warren Buffett and actors Matt Damon and Edward Norton.
"I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position a year ago," said Obama, who added that as he talked to Americans about a possible presidential campaign, "I've been struck by how hungry we all are for a different kind of politics."
The 45-year-old has few accomplishments on the national stage after serving little more than two years in the Senate. But at a time when many voters say they are unhappy with the direction of the country, a lack of experience in the nation's capital may not be a liability.
"The decisions that have been made in Washington these past six years, and the problems that have been ignored, have put our country in a precarious place," Obama said.
He said people are struggling financially, dependence on foreign oil threatens the environment and national security and "we're still mired in a tragic and costly war that should have never been waged."
Clinton is expected to announce her presidential campaign within days, but her spokesman said there would be no comment on Obama's decision from the Clinton camp. Back from Iraq, she abruptly canceled a Capitol Hill news conference minutes after word of Obama's announcement, citing the unavailability of a New York congressman to participate.
Other Democrats who have announced a campaign or exploratory committee are 2004 vice presidential nominee John Edwards, former Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack, Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd and Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich. Sens. John Kerry of Massachusetts and Joe Biden of Delaware and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson also are considering a run.
Obama's decision was relatively low-key after months of hype, with no speech or media appearance to accompany his online announcement. He said he will discuss a presidential campaign with people around the country before his Feb. 10 event, and he wasted no time calling key activists Tuesday.
New Hampshire lobbyist Jim Demers talked with Obama for about five minutes. "He is extremely pumped and excited that this campaign is coming together," said Demers, who accompanied Obama on his visit to the state last month.
Obama's quick rise to national prominence began with his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and his election to the Senate that year. He's written two best-selling autobiographies — "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream" and "Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance."
Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, where his parents met while studying at the University of Hawaii. His father was black and from Kenya; his mother, white and from Wichita, Kan.
Obama's parents divorced when he was two and his father returned to Kenya. His mother later married an Indonesian student and the family moved to Jakarta. Obama returned to Hawaii when he was 10 to live with his maternal grandparents.
He graduated from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where he was the first African-American elected editor of the Harvard Law Review. Obama settled in Chicago, where he joined a law firm, helped local churches establish job training programs and met his future wife, Michelle Robinson. They have two daughters, Malia and Sasha.
In 1996, he was elected to the Illinois state Senate, where he earned a reputation as a consensus-building Democrat who was strongly liberal on social and economic issues, backing gay rights, abortion rights, gun control, universal health care and tax breaks for the poor.
The retirement of Republican Sen. Peter Fitzgerald of Illinois in 2004 drew a raft of candidates to the Democratic primary, but Obama easily outdistanced his competitors. He was virtually assured of victory in the general election when the designated Republican candidate was forced from the race by scandal late in the election.
Obama insisted during the 2004 campaign and through his first year in the Senate that he had no intention of running for president, but by late 2006 his public statements had begun to leave open that possibility.
6/15/07
4/26/07
Snip, Snip
Yeah I've been lagging on posting the reception pics but I *did* get my hair chopped off. Rayla cut off about a foot. I haven't had my hair this short since I started at MPC. Yeah...short. I like it so far though and it was good to get rid of all the unhealthy crap.
Though as Catherine in Proof would say, "It's dead. Hair is dead tissue you can't make it healthy". Either way 'tis gone. I'll have to take some pictures at dinner tomorrow.
Though as Catherine in Proof would say, "It's dead. Hair is dead tissue you can't make it healthy". Either way 'tis gone. I'll have to take some pictures at dinner tomorrow.
4/24/07
Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady ~ Ceremony
Saturday leading up to the wedding was crazy busy. Alex's family was in town as well as his best man James and his girlfriend Talieh. Alex decided we should have everyone over for breakfast. Not the best idea in my opinion but hey he wanted to do it. It was pouring outside and we had to decided what to do to show his family around. Because of the weather we decided the Aquarium. Yeah, no. Crazy Saturday crowds and even crazier parking angst caused us to just walk around Cannery Row for a few hours. Alex had stayed behind so he could finish some wedding stuff so I showed his family around. His sisters and the one brother in law who was able to make it were awesome. I'm really glad to be a part of their family and my mother is even more thrilled.
After that we headed to Gianni's for pizza with everyone. That was some more craziness. I thought this one couple was going to shank me for trying to organize a seating area for everyone next to them. Luckily we were situated about 45 minutes later. Other than Bethia throwing assinine teenage angst towards her dad the night was great. So many wonderful people were there. Many of my out of town friends got to meet each other.
Two of my lovelies stayed with me at the hotel (OMG loved the Hotel Pacific!). Mel, Cath and I had a blast even with getting kicked out of the hot tub at 10pm. Who locks a dang hot tub? Spending time with them bonding over champagne and relationship talk was seriously a highlight. I miss both of them alot. Mel in particular was a wedding rockstar with all the help she gave me the next morning. Maybe I should call her Mel Stewert since she totally doctored my chandelier candles after I broke one.She was also right there with the coffee and food trying to get me to eat.
As I was getting beautified at the salon more of my favorite people showed up to hang out and sip oh so fancy champagne in a can. LOL I felt bad for my hair stylist. I changed things on her and then made her take it out half way through and restart. The resulting hair was a-fucking-amazing though so both she and I were happy with the change. I also threw a color change on the makeup artist but that too turned out better than my trial. Even Alex kept saying (to random people) my makeup was beautiful and that was rare for someone who usually hates me in makeup.
Other people who were rock stars our wedding day were our officiant and our photographer. Our officiant, Fr. Robert was out there on a ladder hanging lanterns. He put my veil on and he tried to help me hitch my dress up when my corset kept sticking out. I know that sounds weird but believe me it was just kick ass. Shannon, my photographer, was awesome because she was game for anything we wanted to do (yeah artsy shots) and I am dying to see my pro pics. She even took some boudoir type shots before I put my dress on. I was so stoked for that because I wanted to get some done anyway.
What was also awesome was our friends who stayed to help us tear everything down. That meant more to Alex and I than anybody could realize.It was a stressful bitch and I hated having to do it rather than party and hang out with my friends but what can you do?
Most things turned out pretty well. My bouquet kicked so much ass I too it to Santa Barbara with me. My dress was the most gorgeous thing ever and I'm so depressed at the thought of not wearing (or sleeping it it) again. Of course some things were totally jacked like the damn wind that ruined everything including my hair, the centerpieces, and guestbook table. I was super upset when I didn't have music to walk down the aisle to. (I felt so bad for Tim because it wasn't his fault). I almost cried but just sucked it up and walked anyway. It sucked that it was so amazingly cold and that lots of people left early. But what can you do. You can't control the weather and I just had to let stuff go. I think people still had a good time regardless.
Alex always used to say why get married. it's just a piece of paper. The best thing about the day was Alex's look on his face after we were married and him saying to me, "This feels so different, it feels so much better". That kicks ass.
The following are some pics taken by my brother in law Dwayne. I'm still waiting on my pro pics and pics from any other kind person who wants to send some my way. *hint, hint, Amber, Alicia, and Heather* I have a couple hundred right now so obviously I'm only posting a tiny fraction.
Alex and Fr. Robert
Pretty maids in a row
Painting the daruma doll. We both were painting it but I'm not in the pic. It's a great picture of Bethia.
This my, "Yay they're married, now where are my grandbabies?" picture of my lovely mom.
I love his face in this picture. Awww.
Well, I'll try to post some reception pictures tomorrow. I'm pooped.
Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady Part 2
So then there was bachelorette #2. Lovely ladies, Alicia and Jenn took me out to dinner and then out for a night of drinking and playing "That Guy". I was kicking myself for not bringing it on the cruise so we had to play it out on Alvarado.
We had a blast and had many Irish Car Bombs...ok Alicia and I did ;)
Such a cute pic, wish it wasn't blurry.
A sign of things to come perhaps?
Blurry action pic of Cameron as "Perfect Guy".
Jen Sercia and "Grind Guy"
Jen looks hot, I look silly.
The next day they both took me to lunch and for a massage at the Monterey Plaza Hotel. I really needed that. Thank you so much for everything ladies! It was another great weekend.
Sadie, Sadie, Married Lady Part 1
Our wedding day has come and gone and what a day, and time leading up to it, it was.
Wedding festivities started with Ms. evil Ambolina trying to sneaky and taking me on a surprise bachelorette cruise to Mexico. The paranoid over planner I am I had it figured out down to the ship we were on but kudos to her for keeping it from me and enlisting others to do the same.
We had a great time but man it was crazy. Some random cruise thoughts...
- Carnival Cruises are filled with drunk crazies.
- Amber and I are cursed. Loud idots will follow us wherever we are in order to wake us up at some god awful hour.
- Mountain biking in Mexico with no shade, not a good idea.
- "That girl" is freakin' hilarious. That girl face planted in the middle of the bar would have been funnier.
- Coffee!!!!!!!
- Cruise ship shows are sooooo bad. Why must they stick the bigger girl in a horrible, skimpy flapper outfit and make the guys carry her around over their heads?
- People would rather drown than listen to lifeboat instructions.
- Where's my $500 piece of art?
- Destino was kick ass.
- Mexico, or at least Ensinada was extremely depressing. The poverty was heartbreaking. I couldn't believe the amount of liquor ads on all the buildings.
- That drunk chick in the stairwell, she "rides John Deeres". Yep "she has a boyfriend named John and she riiiiides him". LOL
- Carnival Cruises are no place for children.
- Comedians are likely to cause a riot or at least some bitches pulling hair.
- Leopard bar = hotness.
Yeah good times! The amount of food they threw at you on the ship was crazy. It's like they wanted you to walk off the boat drunk and 50lbs heavier. It was certainly an adventure and I'm so grateful to Amber for doing all that for me. I have very few pics because Amber took them and hasn't sent them yet
*stares at Amber until she send me some pics*
Lifejackets are cool.
Gaze at the superfro! This was a white woman people!!!
So cool casino slots I NEVER got to play. People were always on it :( I don't blame them though. How could you not play something that cute and bright, not to mentioned named Lucky Lemmings?!
Sporty Ambo she's like a spicegirl, only better.
I love people who don't read. I photoshopped the pic a bit so you can read and revel in the great parenting. I count four kids in the pic but there were actually five in there.
2/27/07
Now We've Just Got to Win
By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer 40 minutes ago
Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) announced his bid for president Saturday, a black man evoking Abraham Lincoln's ability to unite a nation and a Democrat portraying himself as a fresh face capable of leading a new generation.
"Let us transform this nation," he told thousands shivering in the cold at the campaign's kickoff.
Obama, 45, is the youngest candidate in the Democrats' 2008 primary field dominated by front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and filled with more experienced lawmakers. In an address from the state capital where he began his elective career 10 years ago, the first-term U.S. senator sought to distinguish himself as a staunch opponent of the Iraq war and a White House hopeful whose lack of political experience is an asset.
"I know I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of Washington. But I've been there long enough to know that the ways of Washington must change," Obama said to some of the loudest applause of his 20-minute speech.
Obama is looking to cap his remarkable, rapid rise to prominence with the biggest political prize of all — the presidency. His elective career began just 10 years ago in the Illinois Legislature. He lost a bid for a U.S. House seat, then won the Senate seat in 2004, a relatively smooth election made easier by GOP stumbles.
In his speech, Obama did not mention his roots as the son of a man from Kenya and a woman from Kansas, his childhood in Hawaii and Indonesia or the history he would make if elected. That compelling biography has turned him into a political celebrity.
Instead, he focused on his life in Illinois over the past two decades, beginning with a job as a community organizer with a $13,000-a-year salary that strengthened his Christian faith. He said the struggles he saw people face inspired him to get a law degree and run for the Legislature, where he served eight years.
He tied his announcement to the legacy of Lincoln, announcing from the building where the future 16th president served in the state Legislature.
"We can build a more hopeful America. And that is why, in the shadow of the Old State Capitol, where Lincoln once called on a house divided to stand together, where common hopes and common dreams still live, I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America," Obama said. His voice rose to a shout as he spoke over the cheers from thousands who braved temperatures in the teens.
"I know it's a little chilly, but I'm fired up," Obama said as he took the podium with his wife Michelle and daughters Malia, 8, and Sasha, 5, with U2's "City of Blinding Lights" blaring on the speakers.
Local authorities estimated the crowd at between 15,000 and 17,000.
Obama gained national recognition with the publication of two best-selling books, "Dreams From My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope," and by delivering the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 — the same year he was elected to the Senate. His optimistic message and personal story immediately sparked talk of his White House potential.
"He's young and he's fresh," said 22-year-old Rachel Holtz, a graduate student from DeKalb, Ill., who plans to work in education.
Brenda and Michael Talkington, who live near Muncie, Ind., said they have never been involved in a political campaign, but both were laid off from jobs with a lighting company and plan to volunteer for Obama.
"He makes you feel like it is possible to change things," Brenda Talkington said.
She seemed to be reading from Obama's playbook.
He spoke of reshaping the economy for the digital age, investing in education, protecting employee benefits, insuring those who do not have health care, ending poverty, weaning America from foreign oil and fighting terrorism while rebuilding global alliances. But he said the first priority must be to end the war in Iraq.
"It's time to admit that no amount of American lives can resolve the political disagreement that lies at the heart of someone else's civil war," he said. He noted that he was against the invasion from the start.
Obama talked how previous generations have brought change — fighting off colonizers, slavery and the Great Depression, welcoming immigrants, building railroads and landing a man on the moon.
"Each and every time, a new generation has risen up and done what's needed to be done," he said. "Today we are called once more — and it is time for our generation to answer that call."
The Old State Capitol was where Lincoln launched his unsuccessful 1858 U.S. Senate campaign against Stephen Douglas with his famous "House Divided" speech. During his presidential campaign in 1860, Lincoln used rooms in the second floor as his political headquarters, and his body lay in state there in 1865.
Obama said it is because of Lincoln that Americans of every race face the challenges of the 21st century together.
"The life of a tall, gangly, self-made Springfield lawyer tells us that a different future is possible," Obama said. "He tells us that there is power in words. He tells us that there is power in conviction. That beneath all the differences of race and region, faith and station, we are one people. He tells us that there is power in hope."
Obama planned to travel throughout Iowa on Saturday and Sunday before a homecoming rally Sunday night in Chicago.
By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer 40 minutes ago
Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) announced his bid for president Saturday, a black man evoking Abraham Lincoln's ability to unite a nation and a Democrat portraying himself as a fresh face capable of leading a new generation.
"Let us transform this nation," he told thousands shivering in the cold at the campaign's kickoff.
Obama, 45, is the youngest candidate in the Democrats' 2008 primary field dominated by front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and filled with more experienced lawmakers. In an address from the state capital where he began his elective career 10 years ago, the first-term U.S. senator sought to distinguish himself as a staunch opponent of the Iraq war and a White House hopeful whose lack of political experience is an asset.
"I know I haven't spent a lot of time learning the ways of Washington. But I've been there long enough to know that the ways of Washington must change," Obama said to some of the loudest applause of his 20-minute speech.
Obama is looking to cap his remarkable, rapid rise to prominence with the biggest political prize of all — the presidency. His elective career began just 10 years ago in the Illinois Legislature. He lost a bid for a U.S. House seat, then won the Senate seat in 2004, a relatively smooth election made easier by GOP stumbles.
In his speech, Obama did not mention his roots as the son of a man from Kenya and a woman from Kansas, his childhood in Hawaii and Indonesia or the history he would make if elected. That compelling biography has turned him into a political celebrity.
Instead, he focused on his life in Illinois over the past two decades, beginning with a job as a community organizer with a $13,000-a-year salary that strengthened his Christian faith. He said the struggles he saw people face inspired him to get a law degree and run for the Legislature, where he served eight years.
He tied his announcement to the legacy of Lincoln, announcing from the building where the future 16th president served in the state Legislature.
"We can build a more hopeful America. And that is why, in the shadow of the Old State Capitol, where Lincoln once called on a house divided to stand together, where common hopes and common dreams still live, I stand before you today to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America," Obama said. His voice rose to a shout as he spoke over the cheers from thousands who braved temperatures in the teens.
"I know it's a little chilly, but I'm fired up," Obama said as he took the podium with his wife Michelle and daughters Malia, 8, and Sasha, 5, with U2's "City of Blinding Lights" blaring on the speakers.
Local authorities estimated the crowd at between 15,000 and 17,000.
Obama gained national recognition with the publication of two best-selling books, "Dreams From My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope," and by delivering the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 — the same year he was elected to the Senate. His optimistic message and personal story immediately sparked talk of his White House potential.
"He's young and he's fresh," said 22-year-old Rachel Holtz, a graduate student from DeKalb, Ill., who plans to work in education.
Brenda and Michael Talkington, who live near Muncie, Ind., said they have never been involved in a political campaign, but both were laid off from jobs with a lighting company and plan to volunteer for Obama.
"He makes you feel like it is possible to change things," Brenda Talkington said.
She seemed to be reading from Obama's playbook.
He spoke of reshaping the economy for the digital age, investing in education, protecting employee benefits, insuring those who do not have health care, ending poverty, weaning America from foreign oil and fighting terrorism while rebuilding global alliances. But he said the first priority must be to end the war in Iraq.
"It's time to admit that no amount of American lives can resolve the political disagreement that lies at the heart of someone else's civil war," he said. He noted that he was against the invasion from the start.
Obama talked how previous generations have brought change — fighting off colonizers, slavery and the Great Depression, welcoming immigrants, building railroads and landing a man on the moon.
"Each and every time, a new generation has risen up and done what's needed to be done," he said. "Today we are called once more — and it is time for our generation to answer that call."
The Old State Capitol was where Lincoln launched his unsuccessful 1858 U.S. Senate campaign against Stephen Douglas with his famous "House Divided" speech. During his presidential campaign in 1860, Lincoln used rooms in the second floor as his political headquarters, and his body lay in state there in 1865.
Obama said it is because of Lincoln that Americans of every race face the challenges of the 21st century together.
"The life of a tall, gangly, self-made Springfield lawyer tells us that a different future is possible," Obama said. "He tells us that there is power in words. He tells us that there is power in conviction. That beneath all the differences of race and region, faith and station, we are one people. He tells us that there is power in hope."
Obama planned to travel throughout Iowa on Saturday and Sunday before a homecoming rally Sunday night in Chicago.
2/5/07
Global Warming is Good for You
You've heard it here first.
Oh man, so much to talk about so little space. First off I showed my class An Inconvenient Truth a couple weeks ago. I was given permission by my principal to show it and had also received an email from the Diocese of Monterey encouraging teachers to get a free copy of AIT for their classrooms. We watched it stopping here and there to clarify and discuss things. It was like I lit a match under their 11 year old butts. They are appalled at the state of today's world and were amped up to do something about it. We spent another class period the following day discussing what we and specifically they could do. One student suggested that they write letters to politicians voicing their concern over global warming and encouraging U.S support for the Kyoto Protocal. The letters they produced were quite eloquent for kids so young and some even took it upon themselves to write personal letters to the President, Speaker Pelosi, and Al Gore in addition to the class produced letters.
Global warming has become a personal cause for many of them...all but one. Two weeks after we watched the film I received the following email from a parent...
Oh yeah there is just so much comedy gold here it's ridiculous. My principal wrote him back and read him the riot act about following protocol and such since the parent CC'd the email to the pastor and other random people. I think what pissed him off was that his older son watched it in his class a couple weeks after we did and brought up some issues at home. Why the dad mailed me and not the other teacher is beyond me. Either way he can fucking suck it because I had permission from my principal and the Catholic Church.
Friday four students brought in current events about global warming. "Blowbag's" (principal's name for him) son raised his hand and said his parents didn't like him talking about global warming and that his mom said it was "bull". Oh yeah nice talk there. He went on and on about how "my whole family is republican" and how global warming is "political". The other kids looked at him like he was a loon. They couldn't understand (and said so) how global warming was a political issue when it had to do with the sustainability of the earth. I told the student that I didn't know what to tell him except while he was free to express his opinion and feel differently, I had permission to speak of such things and was not going to stop.
As of Monday night no email from his irate parent about that. Dude needs to take a look at the Catholic Church's stance on global warming and how the Church feels that we are stewards of God's creation of earth.
From 2001: http://www.usccb.org/sdwp/international/globalclimate.htm
Or: http://www.osjspm.org/globalwarming
Sure they aren't as liberal as I like, far from it, but they aren't saying, "fuck the polar bears, humans are the best thing EVA!"
The whole situation has just filled my little liberal heart with glee. I especially love that Al Gore was just nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Bring it home baby. If only to rub it in the nose of the naysayers and polar bear haters.
Oh man, so much to talk about so little space. First off I showed my class An Inconvenient Truth a couple weeks ago. I was given permission by my principal to show it and had also received an email from the Diocese of Monterey encouraging teachers to get a free copy of AIT for their classrooms. We watched it stopping here and there to clarify and discuss things. It was like I lit a match under their 11 year old butts. They are appalled at the state of today's world and were amped up to do something about it. We spent another class period the following day discussing what we and specifically they could do. One student suggested that they write letters to politicians voicing their concern over global warming and encouraging U.S support for the Kyoto Protocal. The letters they produced were quite eloquent for kids so young and some even took it upon themselves to write personal letters to the President, Speaker Pelosi, and Al Gore in addition to the class produced letters.
Global warming has become a personal cause for many of them...all but one. Two weeks after we watched the film I received the following email from a parent...
Dear Ladies,
Alec and Adam told me they viewed Al Gore's movie as titled above. If there is anyone more biased than he about what government's role in effecting human behavior related to climate change, I, frankly, can think of none other. Certainly, there has to be better, objective sources about the impacts of human activity on climate change than a hack politician who once told his constituents he was "Pro-Live", then "adjusted" his views to conform to Democrat party orthodoxy to "Pro-Choice" when it was politically expedient. Books have been written about Al Gore's political flip-flops and hypocrisy. Is he really a valid source of objective scientific information?
Here's an inconvenient truth Al Gore fails to render: more people die of the cold than of the heat according to The Potential Impacts of Climate Variability and Change on Temperature Related Morbidity and Mortality in the United States by Michael A. McGeehan and Maria Mirabelli from he Center for Disease Control.
This is just one point that actually refutes the Chicken Little hysteria of Al Gore. In other words, Global Warming for far more people would actually be a good thing, an inconvenient truth Al Gore doesn't mention.
Read from the link below.
http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0091-6765%28200105%29109%3C185%3ATPIOCV%3E2.0.CO%3B2-8&size=LARGE
I've also attached below another study that Al Gore may actually have used as a source confirming the number of deaths due to hot weather.
Extreme heat and cold
a. Impacts
Extremes of temperature have well-known impacts
on human health. There are indications that the num-
ber of heat-related deaths in the United States have
been increasing in recent years (Changnon et al.
1996a), but heat-related death tallies are suspect (cf.
Donoghue et al. 1997). Ellis (1972) showed that the
hot summers of 1952–55 each resulted in more than
500 deaths, with > 5000 heat deaths estimated in 1963
and 6700 in 1966 (Avery 1985). More than 15 000
heat-related deaths are estimated to have occurred in
the heat waves of 1980 (U.S. Senate Special Commit-
tee on Aging 1983). Unfortunately, statistics on human deaths caused by heat can be biased by many fac-
tors and accurate numbers are usually not available
except under isolated circumstances of major heat
extremes and when special studies are conducted.
Statistics based on identification of heat as the cause
of death by a medical examiner are usually much lower
than statistics based on comparison of overall death
rates. For example, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports 1678 deaths in 1980 (Parish 1997),
based on medical examiner identification; far fewer
than the 15 000 reported in congressional hearings.
The number of deaths due to extreme cold during
the 1979–94 period varied from 267 deaths in 1992
to a high of 524 deaths in 1989, based on statistics from
the CDC. The time distribution over this brief period
does not suggest any obvious trend.
Well, well, no obvious trend.
Furthermore, there is absolutely not disagreement in the scientific community that global climate changes have occurred throughout the existence of the planet before Adam and Eve made their appearance in the Garden of Eden. Climate change has always occurred and caused behavioral changes in humans. They move.
So now you are having the kids send letters to legislators to support the Kyoto Agreement. This is stepping beyond the line of educating. This is propagating opinions that are political in nature. Why not just give the kids registration cards to send home so parents can register in the Green Party?
The Kyoto Agreement actually excuses China and India from spewing coal burning. China is building 10 coal burning plants a week I've heard. When is the last time our country built a coal burning plant?
Finally, my last reading of Catholicism is that humanity is the crown of creation. How many people dying of cold due to lack of availability of petroleum-based fuels are worth a polar bear?
If you want to educate our kids to think, why not have them view alternative viewpoints such as John Stossel from ABC http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=1739076 for a balanced view of the what climate change is all about.
Please cease and desist political advocacy and offer our children the WHOLE TRUTH they deserve!
Tom XXXXXXXX
Unlike Al Gore, who just refused to debate the issue recently (Chicken Little), I will gladly debate anyone about Al Gore's movie for Junipero Serra School and enlighten your student body about the wonders of enlightened capitalism and why it would have been terribly unwise to agree to the Kyoto prescriptions
Oh yeah there is just so much comedy gold here it's ridiculous. My principal wrote him back and read him the riot act about following protocol and such since the parent CC'd the email to the pastor and other random people. I think what pissed him off was that his older son watched it in his class a couple weeks after we did and brought up some issues at home. Why the dad mailed me and not the other teacher is beyond me. Either way he can fucking suck it because I had permission from my principal and the Catholic Church.
Friday four students brought in current events about global warming. "Blowbag's" (principal's name for him) son raised his hand and said his parents didn't like him talking about global warming and that his mom said it was "bull". Oh yeah nice talk there. He went on and on about how "my whole family is republican" and how global warming is "political". The other kids looked at him like he was a loon. They couldn't understand (and said so) how global warming was a political issue when it had to do with the sustainability of the earth. I told the student that I didn't know what to tell him except while he was free to express his opinion and feel differently, I had permission to speak of such things and was not going to stop.
As of Monday night no email from his irate parent about that. Dude needs to take a look at the Catholic Church's stance on global warming and how the Church feels that we are stewards of God's creation of earth.
From 2001: http://www.usccb.org/sdwp/international/globalclimate.htm
Or: http://www.osjspm.org/globalwarming
Sure they aren't as liberal as I like, far from it, but they aren't saying, "fuck the polar bears, humans are the best thing EVA!"
The whole situation has just filled my little liberal heart with glee. I especially love that Al Gore was just nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Bring it home baby. If only to rub it in the nose of the naysayers and polar bear haters.
1/21/07
So....Sick
This is one of those times when death seems so much better...
I've had a constant fever since Thursday afternoon. The fever starts to break, I sweat like crazy, and nope it goes right back up. Pair the fevers with a nasty cough, a horrible sore throat, and general weakness and you have a very sick girl. So sick they had to cancel Sat. and Sun performances. Yeah that adds to me feeling good, but what can you do. I can't talk.
The only time I feel I'm in a semi normal state is in the shower, which I have to do two to three times a day to wash the sweat off/keep warm. I'm hoping the meds I have are going to help because despite what the doctor says 4+ days of constant fever can't be good.
I'm going back to sleep...
I've had a constant fever since Thursday afternoon. The fever starts to break, I sweat like crazy, and nope it goes right back up. Pair the fevers with a nasty cough, a horrible sore throat, and general weakness and you have a very sick girl. So sick they had to cancel Sat. and Sun performances. Yeah that adds to me feeling good, but what can you do. I can't talk.
The only time I feel I'm in a semi normal state is in the shower, which I have to do two to three times a day to wash the sweat off/keep warm. I'm hoping the meds I have are going to help because despite what the doctor says 4+ days of constant fever can't be good.
I'm going back to sleep...
1/18/07
Proof Review
By NATHALIE PLOTKIN
Herald Correspondent
To open the 2007 drama season, the Unicorn Theatre really scored a winner with their production of "Proof," David Auburn's Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award-winning play in the Carl Cherry Center in Carmel.
Thought-provoking and audience attention-grabbing, this contemporary and lively script captures interest and holds it as it proceeds along a rather convoluted path in telling its emotionally meaty story.
There are several flashbacks and they are carefully listed in the program to help the audience keep track of events which would have a puzzling lack of continuity otherwise.
"Proof" tells the story of a young woman (Catherine) who has taken on the task of being the caregiver for her mentally ill father (Robert).
She has dropped out of college to do so and since her father was a mathematical genius, she is afraid that not only has she inherited his genius, but also his insanity.
The play opens with a dialogue between father and daughter on the eve of his funeral.
She sees him, as does the audience, and she speaks to him, but the question is raised about the reality of the scene and whether or not she is hallucinating. Yet there is a real bottle of warm champagne in the scene.
There is another, older, daughter (Claire) who walked away from the situation, but who took over the responsibility of the financial support of her father and sister.
She is a self-contained, emotionally detached person who is interested in doing right for her possibly dysfunctional sibling.
Then there is Hal, a former graduate student of the father who is attracted to the younger sister, but who wants to find some mathematical inspiration and career enrichment by going through the 130 notebooks the professor scribbled in during his illness.
Skip Kadish as the mentally ill father must create an almost chameleon-like emotional persona which he handles very skillfully.
In a heartrending scene when his illness reasserts itself after he has been in remission for a year, he is masterful.
Jennifer Muniz (Catherine) has the role of the willingly self-sacrificing daughter who must not only care tenderly for a difficult sick man, but must also face her fears about herself.
Stony faced, rigidly postured and coldly resistant to offers of help, she portrays the tortured inner depths of personality that make her riveting as she emphatically refuses to accept well-meant advice.
She captures sympathy as she struggles with her internal doubts and demons.
Lynette Graves is the older sister who wants to "do right" by Catherine. Her strong sense of duty is very well projected and she bears up under the coldly vituperative rejection she is the target of.
She shows how her patience is sorely tried, yet her underlying hidden warmth and caring strength are apparent.
When, in two major face-to-face, almost knock-down and drag-out confrontations, Muniz and Graves reveal the full force of the differences and resentments they have toward each other, there was crackling and powerful electricity coming from the stage.
Omar Hussain as Hal, the graduate student who cares for Catherine, also shows strength and purpose in facing up to the intractible reactions of Catherine.
He too, is warm and understanding and there is a well-projected maturity of character which adds humanity to the problems he is faced with. Still, his motivation is questionable as to its true reasons.
Director Carey Crockett guided his fine cast through an intelligently conceived and very well-integrated performance except for some seemingly overlong scene changes.
These were four special people bringing life to the author's ideas in realistic, yet emotionally colored performances, which at times included adult language.
Crockett's sense of theatrical proportion made this a fine beginning for the year and a memorable play that should not be missed.
1/16/07
Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please!
By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer
49 minutes ago
Sen. Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) launched a presidential campaign Tuesday that would make him the first black to occupy the White House, and immediately tried to turn his political inexperience into an asset with voters seeking change.
The freshman Illinois senator — and top contender for the Democratic nomination — said the past six years have left the country in a precarious place and he promoted himself as the standard-bearer for a new kind of politics.
"Our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, commonsense way," Obama said in a video posted on his Web site. "Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can't tackle the big problems that demand solutions. And that's what we have to change first."
Obama filed paperwork forming a presidential exploratory committee that allows him to raise money and put together a campaign structure. He is expected to announce a full-fledged candidacy on Feb. 10 in Springfield, Ill., where he can tout his experience in the state legislature and tap into the legacy of hometown hero Abraham Lincoln.
In a brief interview on Capitol Hill, Obama said the reaction has been positive and added, "we wouldn't have gone forward this far if it hadn't been this positive."
Obama's soft-spoken appeal on the stump, his unique background, his opposition to the Iraq war and his fresh face set him apart in a competitive race that also is expected to include front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York.
Obama has uncommon political talents, drawing adoring crowds even among the studious voters in New Hampshire during a much-hyped visit there last month. His star has risen on the force of his personality and message of hope — helped along by celebrity endorsements from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, billionaire investor Warren Buffett and actors Matt Damon and Edward Norton.
"I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position a year ago," said Obama, who added that as he talked to Americans about a possible presidential campaign, "I've been struck by how hungry we all are for a different kind of politics."
The 45-year-old has few accomplishments on the national stage after serving little more than two years in the Senate. But at a time when many voters say they are unhappy with the direction of the country, a lack of experience in the nation's capital may not be a liability.
"The decisions that have been made in Washington these past six years, and the problems that have been ignored, have put our country in a precarious place," Obama said.
He said people are struggling financially, dependence on foreign oil threatens the environment and national security and "we're still mired in a tragic and costly war that should have never been waged."
Clinton is expected to announce her presidential campaign within days, but her spokesman said there would be no comment on Obama's decision from the Clinton camp. Back from Iraq, she abruptly canceled a Capitol Hill news conference minutes after word of Obama's announcement, citing the unavailability of a New York congressman to participate.
Other Democrats who have announced a campaign or exploratory committee are 2004 vice presidential nominee John Edwards, former Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack, Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd and Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich. Sens. John Kerry of Massachusetts and Joe Biden of Delaware and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson also are considering a run.
Obama's decision was relatively low-key after months of hype, with no speech or media appearance to accompany his online announcement. He said he will discuss a presidential campaign with people around the country before his Feb. 10 event, and he wasted no time calling key activists Tuesday.
New Hampshire lobbyist Jim Demers talked with Obama for about five minutes. "He is extremely pumped and excited that this campaign is coming together," said Demers, who accompanied Obama on his visit to the state last month.
Obama's quick rise to national prominence began with his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and his election to the Senate that year. He's written two best-selling autobiographies — "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream" and "Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance."
Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, where his parents met while studying at the University of Hawaii. His father was black and from Kenya; his mother, white and from Wichita, Kan.
Obama's parents divorced when he was two and his father returned to Kenya. His mother later married an Indonesian student and the family moved to Jakarta. Obama returned to Hawaii when he was 10 to live with his maternal grandparents.
He graduated from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where he was the first African-American elected editor of the Harvard Law Review. Obama settled in Chicago, where he joined a law firm, helped local churches establish job training programs and met his future wife, Michelle Robinson. They have two daughters, Malia and Sasha.
In 1996, he was elected to the Illinois state Senate, where he earned a reputation as a consensus-building Democrat who was strongly liberal on social and economic issues, backing gay rights, abortion rights, gun control, universal health care and tax breaks for the poor.
The retirement of Republican Sen. Peter Fitzgerald of Illinois in 2004 drew a raft of candidates to the Democratic primary, but Obama easily outdistanced his competitors. He was virtually assured of victory in the general election when the designated Republican candidate was forced from the race by scandal late in the election.
Obama insisted during the 2004 campaign and through his first year in the Senate that he had no intention of running for president, but by late 2006 his public statements had begun to leave open that possibility.
1/15/07
In Honor...
Somehow this madness must cease. We must stop now. I speak as a child of God and brother to the suffering poor of Vietnam.
I speak for those whose land is being laid waste, whose homes are being destroyed, whose culture is being subverted. I speak
for the poor in America who are paying the double price of smashed hopes at home and death and corruption in Vietnam. I
speak as a citizen of the world, for the world as it stands aghast at the path we have taken. I speak as an American to the
leaders of my own nation. The great initiative in this war is ours. The initiative to stop it must be ours.
Martin Luther King, Jr., The Trumpet of Conscience, 1967.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies
hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction
of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of
annihilation.
Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength To Love, 1963.
Today my students watched The Children's March about the black children of Montgomery Alabama who marched in order to get arrested. It was hard for some of them. A couple of the girls cried. At the end they realized just a little bit more than before how important it is for kids to be activists and to change the negatives they see around them. They are already fired up after watching An Inconvenient Truth so tomorrow we will be writting letters to our government officials (the kids idea) and hoping their voices are heard.
Math Geek and the Countdown
Three months from today I'll be a hitched lady again. I think about all I have to do in the next few months and it makes my head spin. It doesn't help that I am neck deep in a show and immersed in fifth grade (I'm all about the activism and colonial studies these days).
Proof has opened with possibly the shortest rehearsal period I have experienced and the largest line load I have ever had. I thought Communicating Doors was bad with the one five minute scene being the only one I wasn't in. I think the one scene in Proof is about three minutes. At least I don't feel emotionally wasted afterwards like Our Town though should I with this one?
It's been great to work with my "dad" again. I think I need to start having contracts that dictate that my dad has to be Skip and my mom has to be Theresa. It's nice to feel close to people like that. We've gotten some nice feedback from people who liked our show better than the movie (not hard) and the London production (say what?) so we'll see what happens.
Ack it's late, what the hell am I doing up?
Proof has opened with possibly the shortest rehearsal period I have experienced and the largest line load I have ever had. I thought Communicating Doors was bad with the one five minute scene being the only one I wasn't in. I think the one scene in Proof is about three minutes. At least I don't feel emotionally wasted afterwards like Our Town though should I with this one?
It's been great to work with my "dad" again. I think I need to start having contracts that dictate that my dad has to be Skip and my mom has to be Theresa. It's nice to feel close to people like that. We've gotten some nice feedback from people who liked our show better than the movie (not hard) and the London production (say what?) so we'll see what happens.
Ack it's late, what the hell am I doing up?
11/25/06
Eberhardt has a groupie
By NATHALIE PLOTKIN
Herald Correspondent
Our Town" worked its subtle magic once again in the MPC Theatre Company's production of Thornton Wilder's American dramatic classic.
Written in 1938, Wilder broke with theatrical production methods. He specified a bare stage with only a few tables and chairs as scenery and no props, relying rather on sound effects and actors miming their actions to carry the plot forward.
There is a Stage Manager who talks to the audience and keeps them informed as the play progresses, which was quite an innovation at the time. This interactive device has been much imitated ever since.
But, times are now drastically different. The world has changed in the way we live and the things we take for granted, still the feelings of humanity presented during the three acts of "Our Town" have held on very strongly and feelingly.
Throughout the evening they endured and ultimately reached out emotionally as they built the story slowly and subtly.
The Stage Manager, authoritatively played by Mark Shilstone-Laurent, sets the scene by describing the physical layout of Grover's Corners, N.H.
Then he introduces the players in the drama and his observations are the connecting links for the various events that ensue.
This was surely the playwright's inspired method of avoiding cumbersome set changes.
The first act consists of an enactment of an ordinary, uneventful day in a rural town.
You meet the two families whose lives are depicted. Dr. Gibbs (Jerry Gill) is the overworked, old-fashioned, compassionate country doctor (he makes house calls).
Denise Guarnery, his loving and earnest wife, is an equally old-fashioned figure of a loving, caring help mate and mother.
They have a teen-age baseball playing son, George, and a strong-minded young daughter, Rebecca.
Their neighbors, the Webbs, are an equally hard working couple. Mr. Webb is the editor of the town newspaper and Skip Kadish makes him an intelligent and understanding man.
Mrs. Webb (Sally Burns), another wife and mother typical of the era, was firm but lovingly concerned about taking care of her teenage daughter Emily and a young son, Wally.
As the act progresses, the Stage Manager fleshes out the details of their lives so that in the second act, which shows how the teenagers fell in love and married, they had become people we knew.
George Gibbs (Jason Mask) and Emily Webb (Jennifer Muniz) are two very endearing players.
Their attraction to each other is acted with simple charm and a gentleness that is seldom seen now. Their ability to show their emotions and fears at the idea of marriage feel very real.
Finally, Wilder draws all the threads together in the third act, which is the emotional climax of the play.
Set in the town cemetery seven years later, we learn that Emily had died in childbirth, a situation far more common in the early 1900s.
It is her interaction with the other inhabitants of the cemetery and her realization that you can't go back to regain the appreciation of life that was lacking when you had it, that brings the play to its warm, yet heart-wounding ending. It truly touches a chord.
Director Peter De Bono had a competent cast to work with and he paced the play so that it built in intensity as it went along.
At first, there was a rather too-deliberate pace, but as the plot deepened and the involvement of interest became established, it all came together very convincingly.
But, there were times when the cast seemed to forget there was an audience out there and did not project very well.
Some amplification would help, particularly when the action was toward the rear of the stage.
However this was not true of Peter Eberhardt, who made the role of the frustrated alcoholic choir director a standout part.
His bitterness was palpable and Michael Robbins made the cameo role of the long-winded Professor Willard both funny and audible.
As always, the details that help make a production a success were very well carried out. Sound, lights, costumes were all exemplary and the large cast had strength and depth.
If you would like a nostalgic "Our Town" fix, here's an opportunity to get it.
11/8/06
Happy Days are Here Again
Seriously could this day have gone any better?
House...check
Senate...check
Rumsfeld out on his ass...check
You want to know how happy we are at our house? Alex actually said this morning that he felt like putting an American flag on the car! What?! Yeah...that's happy. And what did we see on the pit while driving to work?
IMPEACH 'EM
LOL
House...check
Senate...check
Rumsfeld out on his ass...check
You want to know how happy we are at our house? Alex actually said this morning that he felt like putting an American flag on the car! What?! Yeah...that's happy. And what did we see on the pit while driving to work?
IMPEACH 'EM
LOL
11/7/06
Nail Biter ~ Blue Power
OMG this election is killing me.
Dare I have hope that we win both the house and the senate? Please America, convince me of your intelligence and conviction in sending our lame ass government a message that they need to make some big changes. Bush and co. need a "come to Jesus meeting" in a big way and hopefully this will be the way. A jail term wouldn't hurt either.
This is the first election I voted straight down the party line. I admit I didn't even consider voting for anyone else. This was too important an election. The state of the country sickens me where I once used to have so much love and pride for America. How sad is that?
Anyway I have hope. Barack was just on tv and I kid you not, I'll campaign for that man if he runs in '08. God willing.
Dare I have hope that we win both the house and the senate? Please America, convince me of your intelligence and conviction in sending our lame ass government a message that they need to make some big changes. Bush and co. need a "come to Jesus meeting" in a big way and hopefully this will be the way. A jail term wouldn't hurt either.
This is the first election I voted straight down the party line. I admit I didn't even consider voting for anyone else. This was too important an election. The state of the country sickens me where I once used to have so much love and pride for America. How sad is that?
Anyway I have hope. Barack was just on tv and I kid you not, I'll campaign for that man if he runs in '08. God willing.
10/29/06
Goodbye Grover's Corners, Goodbye Emily
Damn I can't even type the subject line without tearing up. This show has been such an emotional, creative journey for me. I have had the opportunity to work with some of the best people, and to quote Jason, we really have become a family. In all the shows I've done in the past 15 years, I've never seen a cast, or director for that matter, so choked up with tears at closing. I couldn't even look at Skip. Jason...well you're the best.
I've said it before and I'll say it one last time, I never would have thought 20 years ago when I first read Our Town that I'd actually have the opportunity to play Emily. I'll be storing my script next to the paperbook copy I stole from school in 7th grade where I underlined all of Emily's lines.
This show, I think, will be a turning point for me, much as Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf was. I have a show lined up for January (Alex is going to kill me) and others in the horizon. I have received the most amazing compliments from everyone, so much so I don't even know what to say. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for the support and for moving me and letting me move you.
So long Emily. You have touched my heart and I will forever carry you with me.
"Goodbye. Goodbye world, goodbye Grover's Corners, and Mama and Papa. To clocks ticking and my butternut tree, and to Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee and new ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping and waking up. Oh world you're far to wonderful for anyone to ever realize."
I've said it before and I'll say it one last time, I never would have thought 20 years ago when I first read Our Town that I'd actually have the opportunity to play Emily. I'll be storing my script next to the paperbook copy I stole from school in 7th grade where I underlined all of Emily's lines.
This show, I think, will be a turning point for me, much as Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf was. I have a show lined up for January (Alex is going to kill me) and others in the horizon. I have received the most amazing compliments from everyone, so much so I don't even know what to say. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for the support and for moving me and letting me move you.
So long Emily. You have touched my heart and I will forever carry you with me.
"Goodbye. Goodbye world, goodbye Grover's Corners, and Mama and Papa. To clocks ticking and my butternut tree, and to Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee and new ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping and waking up. Oh world you're far to wonderful for anyone to ever realize."
10/20/06
The Crystal- Light Cult
Yay...relaxation! I am so glad I took a personal day off today so I could sleep all I wanted before the show tonight. Sleep makes me happy.
There's a funny occurance happening in my classroom. I'm a Crystal Light drinker. Bethia and I started drinking it because neither of us likes the taste of plain water. I can hardly ever drink it, and I know I need to drink water, so Crystal Light seemed to be the answer. I drink it at school in little water bottles using the Crystal Light on the Go packs (fabulous idea by the way) and the fifth graders asked me about it. I told them it was Crystal Light and that I drink it because I can't stand the taste of plain water and I liked it because it was sugar free and I was able to drink the water I needed too.
Seems Crystal Light has become a cult in fifth grade. Half the kids now drink it. They carry their little water bottles and On the Go packs all over the place. They have conversations about which flavor is the best. They loudly proclaim that it's sugar free to who ever will listen. They have even gotten their parents hooked on it.
It cracks me up but it's scary how much influence I have on them in certain regards.
Oh and as for Crystal Light, I recommend the raspberry lemonade.
There's a funny occurance happening in my classroom. I'm a Crystal Light drinker. Bethia and I started drinking it because neither of us likes the taste of plain water. I can hardly ever drink it, and I know I need to drink water, so Crystal Light seemed to be the answer. I drink it at school in little water bottles using the Crystal Light on the Go packs (fabulous idea by the way) and the fifth graders asked me about it. I told them it was Crystal Light and that I drink it because I can't stand the taste of plain water and I liked it because it was sugar free and I was able to drink the water I needed too.
Seems Crystal Light has become a cult in fifth grade. Half the kids now drink it. They carry their little water bottles and On the Go packs all over the place. They have conversations about which flavor is the best. They loudly proclaim that it's sugar free to who ever will listen. They have even gotten their parents hooked on it.
It cracks me up but it's scary how much influence I have on them in certain regards.
Oh and as for Crystal Light, I recommend the raspberry lemonade.
10/19/06
Our Town Opens
Our Town at MPC's Morgan Stock Stage.
October 19, 2006
In 1938, audiences were startled by Thornton Wilder's barebones production of Our Town. By dispensing with the normal trappings of theater, it broke down the traditional narrative form and became one of the first widely-hailed postmodern theatrical classics. Nearly 70 years later, it's the writing that continues to mesmerize audience and invigorate directors like MPC's Peter DeBono. [RM]
8pm/Fri-Sat; 2pm/Sun. The Morgan Stock Stage at the MPC Theatre Company, 980 Fremont St., Monterey. $18/in advance; $25/door; $20/seniors; $15/young adults (20 and under); $10/children 12 and under. 646-4213 or Ticketguys.com.
9/24/06
Our Town and Stuff...
Man it was a week.
Much sadness for Peter, Cliff, and their families this week. Jerry was such a neat guy. I had always wanted to work with him and we would talk about it now and then. He loved my Helen Kane impersonation and would always give me the best compliments and feedback on my performances. I know he will be missed greatly in the theatre community.
Our first week off book for Our Town. The week started off well but of course as we got closer and closer to act three I was toast. Why oh why can't I memorize like I used to? Damn plur!! LOL It's been good times though. Jason and Mark make me laugh regularly, something I'm always happy to do. (Though not on stage Mark!!! "Kiss the bitch". Heh)
Fifth grade has been very busy and amusing. Our days are over in what seems like two hours. I never seem to have enough time to finish everything I need to do with them, which sucks because it's a lot. They are however, pretty much the same as they were in second grade, just taller. My little friend in second grade continues to be my little friend in fifth grade. At least he's respectful of me. He told the after school aide that I was awesome. Current events have also proven to be an interesting weekly event. Why this past Friday we had discussions ranging from the politics of nuclear disarmament and our lovely president, the dangers of kitty litter to pregnant women, birth defects, and hermaphrodites, breast cancer and nipple piercings. Yeah you read right. I stopped that last one right away but man Fifth graders are interesting.
Much sadness for Peter, Cliff, and their families this week. Jerry was such a neat guy. I had always wanted to work with him and we would talk about it now and then. He loved my Helen Kane impersonation and would always give me the best compliments and feedback on my performances. I know he will be missed greatly in the theatre community.
Our first week off book for Our Town. The week started off well but of course as we got closer and closer to act three I was toast. Why oh why can't I memorize like I used to? Damn plur!! LOL It's been good times though. Jason and Mark make me laugh regularly, something I'm always happy to do. (Though not on stage Mark!!! "Kiss the bitch". Heh)
Fifth grade has been very busy and amusing. Our days are over in what seems like two hours. I never seem to have enough time to finish everything I need to do with them, which sucks because it's a lot. They are however, pretty much the same as they were in second grade, just taller. My little friend in second grade continues to be my little friend in fifth grade. At least he's respectful of me. He told the after school aide that I was awesome. Current events have also proven to be an interesting weekly event. Why this past Friday we had discussions ranging from the politics of nuclear disarmament and our lovely president, the dangers of kitty litter to pregnant women, birth defects, and hermaphrodites, breast cancer and nipple piercings. Yeah you read right. I stopped that last one right away but man Fifth graders are interesting.
8/22/06
I Can't Take it Anymore
My dear sweet baby Sweetpea died about 20 min ago. She was fine for most of the day, her usual happy kamakazi rattie self. When we got home from getting groceries I looked in the cage and saw her rolling around funny. Then for a couple hours she alternated hopping around with dragging her legs behind her. Then she seemed to magically get better. I had hope that she could make it til the morning to go to the vet. I kept checking on her and while I was at the cage she jumped on the door like she always did to come out. I opened it and she climbed up my arm to my shoulder. She died in my arms not 5 min later.
This hurts so bad because she was my little baby runt rattie from the beginning. I held her from the time she was born. It's like one of my own children dying.
What makes it worse was that I lost my old Zoe girl on Friday. Zoe was three so it was horribly sad yet expected. I love my rats so much but if I lose another one in any short period of time I'm going to lose it. They always come to me right before they die. I don't know why they do it.
Zoe, who was always skittish of people until the end when she wouldn't let me put her in the cage for a day. We spent some quality snuggle time in the end.
I'll add a picture of Sweetpea on July 4th when I can scan it.
5/7/06
LIfe at 15,000 Feet
I did it!
I cannot thank Amber enough for the most wonderful birthday present. This was truly a highlight of my life! I love you!
It was strange how I wasn't scared at all, especially at the door which was where I thought I would get nervous. The actual jumping out of the door part happened so fast you couldn't even think. You just went. I was also surprised at how long we were up in the air. It seemed like quite a long time. It was so amazing just floating (though we were really falling) in the air and being able to look all around like that. Above the clouds the view was spectacular. Suposedly Skydive Monterey Bay is the highest skydive in California at 15,000 feet and if you pay for the 18,000 feet jump you are doing the highest jump in the US. So cool! As you can see in the video I'm grinning like a fool the whole time. That was how I felt. Elated!
Another awesome thing I saw was a rainbow. Did you know rainbows are actually circular? Like doughnuts. We see them as arches on the ground but from above they are circles.
I can't go on enough about the experience and about how much it meant to me. It is certainly something I would do again. I'd even consider taking a class. I love birds and up there, I was a bird.
P.s Craziness....my mom wants to do it now. I think she's insane. That or she just wants the damn video. The following are stills from the DVD.
Lee my awesome Jumpmaster getting me ready. I loved him. He really made me feel comfortable about the whole thing.
I was going "OMG" and "Wow" the whole time. I tried to take everything in while I was up there.
Weeeeee!
Lee just pulled the chute.
On the ground once again. The adrenaline kick was craaazy. I was jumping up and down for like 30 min afterwards. I looked like a raving lunatic I'm sure to all the poor saps waiting to get on the plane and freaking out.
If you would like to watch the video
12/22/03
Shake, Rattle and Roll
Oooh earthquake!!
Just has a 6.5 about 2 hrs south of us. This was a big one lots of rolling around and doors swinging. At first I thought I was just delusional from all the work and late hours but it kept going and going. Alex didn't feel it and he was outside working on the car. Poor guy he's dissapointed.
I may be crazy but I love earthquakes.
Just has a 6.5 about 2 hrs south of us. This was a big one lots of rolling around and doors swinging. At first I thought I was just delusional from all the work and late hours but it kept going and going. Alex didn't feel it and he was outside working on the car. Poor guy he's dissapointed.
I may be crazy but I love earthquakes.
12/11/03
Catching Up
Grrr to nights where I think so much that I can't sleep..not to mention Alex is working late on a report and I can't seem to sleep anymore unless he's in the bed with me.
I haven't updated in over a months and so much has gone on. Some good, some sad, and some down right shitty.
Work has had it's ups and downs. We are going through accreditation right now. WASC is a bitch. Tons of meetings on top of meetings to write this huge document to prove we are a worthwhile school. This of course leads up to observations and such. Last year at the preschool we went through Cal State funding rigmarole and that was a treat in and of itself but it was nothing like this. Last year I sailed through it not even needing to go through a personal inquisition because the State went through all my paperwork with a fine tooth comb and found it "flawless". We received a perfect score. I'm sure this will go just as well but I'm afraid for the inquisition mainly because I am new there.
Second grade is growing on me more, though there are some days all I can think about it coming home and going to sleep as soon as I get up. We had an excellent unit on Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) at the end of October/beginning of Nov. We had an altar set up in class with pictures of loved ones who had passed along with candles, marigolds, and our decorated sugar skulls. The children were so interested in it, it was a beautiful thing. We are very fortunate in that we are a private Parochial school because we are able to cover things that many schools could not.
This mainly is the religious aspect of cultures.
On the last day of out unit we went into the Mission graveyard and had a prayer ceremony and the children were able to lay flowers on the Native American graves there. It was very moving with the children being so respectful and happy to be able to gift them with flowers. It really helped bring the idea of remembrance in death. Of course I cried when we all talked about those that had gone in our families who were special to us. The looks on the kids faces were pure shock. Some even started to tear up themselves. Seems they never saw a teacher cry before but it gave us an opportunity to talk about missing those we loved and about how anyone can cry and it's ok.
Thanksgiving went well too...at least in the classroom. There is nothing better than being able to dispel a myth and teach the truth. Luckily the resources on the 1621 Harvest Festival are growing and today's children will hopefully have teachers who refuse to teach stereotypes. Again I must seem like the militant socialist at school or something because my mother was absolutely livid with me when we had a conversation on the subject. She doesn't understand why we can't say Pilgrims or why I refuse to say Indians. She thinks the traditions should stay in place and doesn't believe me when I say ther aren't true. *sigh* Some people are so stuck in their ways.
Thanksgiving itself started out pretty lame. For some reason I turned on the parade..why? And there was this big ol' float with Judy Collins singing on it and all sorts of happy "pilgrims and indians" dancing around it. What the hell!!! The colonists never wore all black or those stupid tall hats. The Wampanoag didn't wear long flowing feather headdresses!!! Don't people realize by portraying Native Americans all the same way that it would be the same as saying and portraying all Europeans wearing the same traditional dress and speaking the same language? Grrr I could go on but I won't.
All I know is for some reason my views became comical relief to my mother and to my family at the dinner table on Thanksgiving, with my cousin's husband going, "So Jennifer I hear you have a problem with Pilgrims and Indians." Everyone laughed at the following conversation..they thought it hilarious. I ended up crying and walking out of the building. Alex was pissed, he almost had us leave. They are just ignorant, what can I do? Ok so maybe ignorant isn't the word. They just haven't had their eyes opened to the world around them and freed themselves from the American world view. There..that's nicer.
On the Alex front things are going very well. We had such a wonderful birthday weekend for him. It was just pure happiness. It was funny because he brought up a ring discussion and talked about where we might get married. That made me happy because I so often suppress any wedding thoughts or convos cause I don't want to freak him out. I've been told a ring will not be an Xmas present but maybe soon. I just know he's the one for me, he supports me, he loves me, he makes me happy. He loves my rats, he makes me steaks, and he cares for the world as I do. How lucky am I?
I haven't updated in over a months and so much has gone on. Some good, some sad, and some down right shitty.
Work has had it's ups and downs. We are going through accreditation right now. WASC is a bitch. Tons of meetings on top of meetings to write this huge document to prove we are a worthwhile school. This of course leads up to observations and such. Last year at the preschool we went through Cal State funding rigmarole and that was a treat in and of itself but it was nothing like this. Last year I sailed through it not even needing to go through a personal inquisition because the State went through all my paperwork with a fine tooth comb and found it "flawless". We received a perfect score. I'm sure this will go just as well but I'm afraid for the inquisition mainly because I am new there.
Second grade is growing on me more, though there are some days all I can think about it coming home and going to sleep as soon as I get up. We had an excellent unit on Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) at the end of October/beginning of Nov. We had an altar set up in class with pictures of loved ones who had passed along with candles, marigolds, and our decorated sugar skulls. The children were so interested in it, it was a beautiful thing. We are very fortunate in that we are a private Parochial school because we are able to cover things that many schools could not.
This mainly is the religious aspect of cultures.
On the last day of out unit we went into the Mission graveyard and had a prayer ceremony and the children were able to lay flowers on the Native American graves there. It was very moving with the children being so respectful and happy to be able to gift them with flowers. It really helped bring the idea of remembrance in death. Of course I cried when we all talked about those that had gone in our families who were special to us. The looks on the kids faces were pure shock. Some even started to tear up themselves. Seems they never saw a teacher cry before but it gave us an opportunity to talk about missing those we loved and about how anyone can cry and it's ok.
Thanksgiving went well too...at least in the classroom. There is nothing better than being able to dispel a myth and teach the truth. Luckily the resources on the 1621 Harvest Festival are growing and today's children will hopefully have teachers who refuse to teach stereotypes. Again I must seem like the militant socialist at school or something because my mother was absolutely livid with me when we had a conversation on the subject. She doesn't understand why we can't say Pilgrims or why I refuse to say Indians. She thinks the traditions should stay in place and doesn't believe me when I say ther aren't true. *sigh* Some people are so stuck in their ways.
Thanksgiving itself started out pretty lame. For some reason I turned on the parade..why? And there was this big ol' float with Judy Collins singing on it and all sorts of happy "pilgrims and indians" dancing around it. What the hell!!! The colonists never wore all black or those stupid tall hats. The Wampanoag didn't wear long flowing feather headdresses!!! Don't people realize by portraying Native Americans all the same way that it would be the same as saying and portraying all Europeans wearing the same traditional dress and speaking the same language? Grrr I could go on but I won't.
All I know is for some reason my views became comical relief to my mother and to my family at the dinner table on Thanksgiving, with my cousin's husband going, "So Jennifer I hear you have a problem with Pilgrims and Indians." Everyone laughed at the following conversation..they thought it hilarious. I ended up crying and walking out of the building. Alex was pissed, he almost had us leave. They are just ignorant, what can I do? Ok so maybe ignorant isn't the word. They just haven't had their eyes opened to the world around them and freed themselves from the American world view. There..that's nicer.
On the Alex front things are going very well. We had such a wonderful birthday weekend for him. It was just pure happiness. It was funny because he brought up a ring discussion and talked about where we might get married. That made me happy because I so often suppress any wedding thoughts or convos cause I don't want to freak him out. I've been told a ring will not be an Xmas present but maybe soon. I just know he's the one for me, he supports me, he loves me, he makes me happy. He loves my rats, he makes me steaks, and he cares for the world as I do. How lucky am I?
11/6/03
Some Days you Just Pray for it to be Over
This week has been parent conferences and all of them so far have gone great, the parents have been very supportive and understanding of why their child received the grade they did. They have been willing to work with my suggestions on how to work on certain subjects.
Then several parents have also mentioned my "friend" Nicholas, voiced concerns over his behavior in class from what their children tell them. One of my students even plays "Ms. Jennifer" She dresses up in her moms high heels, puts on glasses and lines up all her stuffed animals. She also has to repramand her stuffed Nicholas A LOT. How sad is that? He not only is effecting the children at school, he is also going home with them. It makes me very sad. It isn't fair that I have to devote so much time and energy to a child who could give a shit and who behaves horribly while the others stand by and wait. I am just getting so anry inside about him and it really scares me because I've never felt that way towards any child I've worked with.
Things had been getting better. He had started using the Hooked on Phonics program and with his improving reading skills he was feeling better about himself and about school. He became sort of a buddy and though he still misbehaved quite a bit, he was easier to deal with and teach. Last week things started going downhill. He wasn't listening or following directions as well. He started ignoring my requests to unpack his backpack or clean up his area around his desk. He spread his papers and books all over the floor and played constantly with his pencils and crayons. He continued his way of walking into the classroom after the bells, walking slowly like an old man, far behind the class and deliberatly holding us up. He added this behavior into the classroom whenever he needed to go back to his seat. Whining "I am!!!" When I asked him to please walk quickly back to his seat.
Last Thursday I called him back into the classroom as he was going to lunch to clean his area. Imagine books and pencils and papers and a jacket all spread out on the floor and on the desk next to him. I told him to clean it before he left for lunch. He tried to put some of it in the empty desk next to him (the buffer desk) I explained to him that he had his desk and that his things were to go into it. He whined and ignored my requests, putting the things into it anyway. I reminded him that he refused to sit in that desk before when it was his assigned desk and that now he had made his choice and had to stick with it. Basically it became a battle of the wills with me refusing to let him do anything until he put his things away in his desk and hang up his jacket. He backtalked me several times and after a warning from me, left the room.
I go to my lunch and immediatly am confronted with a gaggle of 1st grade girls who tell me Nicholas hit them with his lunchbox, that he was swinging it at them and hitting them. We are talking about five girls crying about being hit. So I write him up and the principal decides he will be suspended the next day, Halloween.
The parents are called and from what the principal told me the mother freaks out, saying that she feels we pick on her precious poopsie. Whatever. The principal wants me to write him up for disrespect for me but I didn't. Turns out somewhere in a parent meeting the principal had with his parents, that Nicholas is allowed to come to school the next day and join in on all the school fun. How that happened I don't know.
So things have just gotten worse. He argues with me all the time. He left his backpack on the ground the other day after I asked his row to unpack (I call the children by rows to unpack). So I remind him his row was called. 10 min later it's still on the floor. I tell him he needs to put his pack away. He argues with me that I hadn't told him. "Nicholas, I did" "No you didn't" Seriously argues with me even when the other kids say yes I did. Today he left his backpack on the floor for 45 min. Tomorrow if he does it again and tries to talk back to me he is going to the office. And if he refuses to go like the last time I tried to send him off, I am calling in the very big math teacher to come carry him out. I'm tired of that shit.
The whining, the picking, the arguing, the willful disobediance is driving me crazy and making me not want to go to work.
To make matters worse the parents send a note attached to his reportcard today listing all the things they want to discuss with me tomorrow. Things like:
-"Under spelling it is noted that he needs improvement with assigned lists. Based on tests it appears he does well. What improvements would you like to see?"
Hmm ok lets look at the grade book. First of all the category for improvement was "Mastery of assigned lists" He has a score of, 100, 0, 94, 100, 56, 82, 60, 94 for an average of 73...no mastery there.
-"Under conduct all boxes are checked as needs improvement. We were questioning the "respects school property" and "respects personal property"> We have not heard of any problems before."
He trashes his desk, throws his books around (which are school property), refused to put his clothes in their proper place and constantly picks all the erasers out of the classroom pencils. Not cause for a parent conference but certainly cause for a mark on his report card.
-"We noticed low score in conduct (Oh really *snark*). Previously I suggest a behavior modification program, but I have not received any feedback regarding behaviors in the class".
They were also told they needed to write up a letter with what they were doing to help Nicholas and finally turned it in. They also stated that hey were going to put him in counseling. I thought that was what the list of behaviors was for. They cancelled their appointment with the therapist and now say he doesn't need one. So why do they need a list? Besides, why ask for a list full of negative behaviors when they'll never believe it anyway. They run the gamut and cover all negative behaviors...seriously he does them all except for like setting fire to things. I have discussed things he does in class with them in meetings and in notes and they always say he never does anything like that at home.
-"We are flustrated (huh?)with communication since school started we have only received about 2-3 notes. In order for us to help we need more communications."
I have four notes, two conferences, and four notices of concern (ie. referrals). Perhaps she is referring to the stalker like activity of her two calls to me at my HOME one night and then once the next morning before I went to work. I don't take business calls at home and I didn't answer the phone.
Anyway it goes on and on and I am hoping it goes well tomorrow. The V. Principal is going to be sitting in on the meeting, supporting me. I am soooo angry and soo tired of the whole situation I just want to run away. I'm tired of the blame on both the parent's and child's part. For christ sakes he blames everything on me or his classmates. "My stomach is mad at you!" "Why?" "Because it's hungry." Yeah all my fault.
If you are a praying sort please offer up something for me. I could use all the help and good thoughts, spells, incantations whatever, I can get. I feel so negative and so worn down from this situation.
Then several parents have also mentioned my "friend" Nicholas, voiced concerns over his behavior in class from what their children tell them. One of my students even plays "Ms. Jennifer" She dresses up in her moms high heels, puts on glasses and lines up all her stuffed animals. She also has to repramand her stuffed Nicholas A LOT. How sad is that? He not only is effecting the children at school, he is also going home with them. It makes me very sad. It isn't fair that I have to devote so much time and energy to a child who could give a shit and who behaves horribly while the others stand by and wait. I am just getting so anry inside about him and it really scares me because I've never felt that way towards any child I've worked with.
Things had been getting better. He had started using the Hooked on Phonics program and with his improving reading skills he was feeling better about himself and about school. He became sort of a buddy and though he still misbehaved quite a bit, he was easier to deal with and teach. Last week things started going downhill. He wasn't listening or following directions as well. He started ignoring my requests to unpack his backpack or clean up his area around his desk. He spread his papers and books all over the floor and played constantly with his pencils and crayons. He continued his way of walking into the classroom after the bells, walking slowly like an old man, far behind the class and deliberatly holding us up. He added this behavior into the classroom whenever he needed to go back to his seat. Whining "I am!!!" When I asked him to please walk quickly back to his seat.
Last Thursday I called him back into the classroom as he was going to lunch to clean his area. Imagine books and pencils and papers and a jacket all spread out on the floor and on the desk next to him. I told him to clean it before he left for lunch. He tried to put some of it in the empty desk next to him (the buffer desk) I explained to him that he had his desk and that his things were to go into it. He whined and ignored my requests, putting the things into it anyway. I reminded him that he refused to sit in that desk before when it was his assigned desk and that now he had made his choice and had to stick with it. Basically it became a battle of the wills with me refusing to let him do anything until he put his things away in his desk and hang up his jacket. He backtalked me several times and after a warning from me, left the room.
I go to my lunch and immediatly am confronted with a gaggle of 1st grade girls who tell me Nicholas hit them with his lunchbox, that he was swinging it at them and hitting them. We are talking about five girls crying about being hit. So I write him up and the principal decides he will be suspended the next day, Halloween.
The parents are called and from what the principal told me the mother freaks out, saying that she feels we pick on her precious poopsie. Whatever. The principal wants me to write him up for disrespect for me but I didn't. Turns out somewhere in a parent meeting the principal had with his parents, that Nicholas is allowed to come to school the next day and join in on all the school fun. How that happened I don't know.
So things have just gotten worse. He argues with me all the time. He left his backpack on the ground the other day after I asked his row to unpack (I call the children by rows to unpack). So I remind him his row was called. 10 min later it's still on the floor. I tell him he needs to put his pack away. He argues with me that I hadn't told him. "Nicholas, I did" "No you didn't" Seriously argues with me even when the other kids say yes I did. Today he left his backpack on the floor for 45 min. Tomorrow if he does it again and tries to talk back to me he is going to the office. And if he refuses to go like the last time I tried to send him off, I am calling in the very big math teacher to come carry him out. I'm tired of that shit.
The whining, the picking, the arguing, the willful disobediance is driving me crazy and making me not want to go to work.
To make matters worse the parents send a note attached to his reportcard today listing all the things they want to discuss with me tomorrow. Things like:
-"Under spelling it is noted that he needs improvement with assigned lists. Based on tests it appears he does well. What improvements would you like to see?"
Hmm ok lets look at the grade book. First of all the category for improvement was "Mastery of assigned lists" He has a score of, 100, 0, 94, 100, 56, 82, 60, 94 for an average of 73...no mastery there.
-"Under conduct all boxes are checked as needs improvement. We were questioning the "respects school property" and "respects personal property"> We have not heard of any problems before."
He trashes his desk, throws his books around (which are school property), refused to put his clothes in their proper place and constantly picks all the erasers out of the classroom pencils. Not cause for a parent conference but certainly cause for a mark on his report card.
-"We noticed low score in conduct (Oh really *snark*). Previously I suggest a behavior modification program, but I have not received any feedback regarding behaviors in the class".
They were also told they needed to write up a letter with what they were doing to help Nicholas and finally turned it in. They also stated that hey were going to put him in counseling. I thought that was what the list of behaviors was for. They cancelled their appointment with the therapist and now say he doesn't need one. So why do they need a list? Besides, why ask for a list full of negative behaviors when they'll never believe it anyway. They run the gamut and cover all negative behaviors...seriously he does them all except for like setting fire to things. I have discussed things he does in class with them in meetings and in notes and they always say he never does anything like that at home.
-"We are flustrated (huh?)with communication since school started we have only received about 2-3 notes. In order for us to help we need more communications."
I have four notes, two conferences, and four notices of concern (ie. referrals). Perhaps she is referring to the stalker like activity of her two calls to me at my HOME one night and then once the next morning before I went to work. I don't take business calls at home and I didn't answer the phone.
Anyway it goes on and on and I am hoping it goes well tomorrow. The V. Principal is going to be sitting in on the meeting, supporting me. I am soooo angry and soo tired of the whole situation I just want to run away. I'm tired of the blame on both the parent's and child's part. For christ sakes he blames everything on me or his classmates. "My stomach is mad at you!" "Why?" "Because it's hungry." Yeah all my fault.
If you are a praying sort please offer up something for me. I could use all the help and good thoughts, spells, incantations whatever, I can get. I feel so negative and so worn down from this situation.
10/27/03
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg
Total frustration...
I should be working on lesson plans right now but I am upset by a "meeting" my principal and I had. Seems she thinks I am too dependant on my mother...that we have lunch together already so I shouldn't need to sit next to her at meetings. ??? Didn't realize there was anything wrong with sitting next to a certain person at a meeting.
She insinuated that I needed to be more social with everyone else which is a bunch of hooey. Anyone who really knows me knows I talk to everyone. I told her that I didn't sit next to my mother to talk because I was under the impression that we were having a meeting not a social gathering. Anyway long story short she made me cry and I really get po'd when people make me cry.
She ended up saying she was sorry that she offended me. Seems she was a bit jealous as she thought I was confiding my woes with my mother and not with her. *eye roll* Whatever. I don't tell people that crap...well except for my journal right ;)
I should be working on lesson plans right now but I am upset by a "meeting" my principal and I had. Seems she thinks I am too dependant on my mother...that we have lunch together already so I shouldn't need to sit next to her at meetings. ??? Didn't realize there was anything wrong with sitting next to a certain person at a meeting.
She insinuated that I needed to be more social with everyone else which is a bunch of hooey. Anyone who really knows me knows I talk to everyone. I told her that I didn't sit next to my mother to talk because I was under the impression that we were having a meeting not a social gathering. Anyway long story short she made me cry and I really get po'd when people make me cry.
She ended up saying she was sorry that she offended me. Seems she was a bit jealous as she thought I was confiding my woes with my mother and not with her. *eye roll* Whatever. I don't tell people that crap...well except for my journal right ;)
10/24/03
Beyond Borders
Just got back home from seeing Beyond Borders with Alex. It was avery powerful film for us almost reducing us to tears throughout. If you are a sheep I would not recommend seeing it as it isn't an entertaining movie. It is instead a movie that forces you to realize the reality that is beyond our happy, comfy borders of McDonalds, malls and fast cars.
It made me want to do something even more, as it did Alex. He said he would leave right now if it weren't for the kids. I understand for I'd be out there if it weren't for my family. I don't know how I could leave my mom behind but I feel this calling in a way that has been growing steadily for about 2 years now.
Where do I go...how do I even begin?
On a different note, the army once again fucked up.
...Not out of control MY ASS! We drove by it coming home and there were massive flames dangerously close to homes in Seaside. Interesting how we got a notice that the fire was 90% contained at like 11am.
It made me want to do something even more, as it did Alex. He said he would leave right now if it weren't for the kids. I understand for I'd be out there if it weren't for my family. I don't know how I could leave my mom behind but I feel this calling in a way that has been growing steadily for about 2 years now.
Where do I go...how do I even begin?
On a different note, the army once again fucked up.
Fort Ord Burn Out Of Control
1,270 Acres Of Thick Brush Burned
POSTED: 3:30 p.m. PDT October 24, 2003
UPDATED: 9:29 p.m. PDT October 24, 2003
SEASIDE, Calif. -- A prescribed burn at the former Fort Ord has blackened 1,270 acres and is out of control, Action News reported Friday afternoon.
The burn started about 8:30 a.m. and the smoke from it could be seen for miles as it drifted out over Monterey Bay and into some communities.
About 500 acres of thick brush was scheduled to be burned in an effort to remove thick ground cover so that crews can reach dangerous unexploded ordinance that lies beneath.
Earlier in the day, a spokesman for the company in charge of the burn, Firestop, said it was a successful burn, although not everything went as planned. Officials said the blaze did escape the fire line at one point, forcing engineers to change their plans, but that it was not out of control.
"Wildfire is sometimes unpredictable. It has a tendency to do the things it wants to do ... all we can do is plan for those contingencies, which we did, and bringing it back into line when it gets outside of what expected," Firestop spokesman Rich Foster said.
More than 80 personnel, including 12 helicopters, are on hand to battle the flames.
Army officials said there are no more burns scheduled at the site until next summer.
...Not out of control MY ASS! We drove by it coming home and there were massive flames dangerously close to homes in Seaside. Interesting how we got a notice that the fire was 90% contained at like 11am.
10/21/03
It's almost Wednesday
Just wanted to show everyone a picture I took today.
We may look sweet, we may look cute...but ooooooohhhhhh.
I had another observation today. The day wasn't working in my favor. Coach was on leave today so we had no PE my prep time for my science lesson and the lesson in which I was to be observed and graded. So there goes the prep time. I was amazed however because for an hour and a half straight they we silent as can be...perfectly well behaved and calm..working hard on handwriting and then art projects. I was shocked. Then Rey came in for science and it was a whole different story. My computer and projector set up didn't work and they started spazzing out towards the end. *sigh* Hands on science became let's toss the rock around. I had to really raise my voice.
Rey strangely loved that...okay....you wouldn't think they would want you to "yell" at your students but whatever. I got a glowing review. Another shocker but hey I'm just glad this bout is over until next month.
I also collected about 7 or 8 cards and pictures today. for some reason the kids were being loves and handing me pictures and poems left and right. It made me feel good because after visiting my former school last Monday I was missing my babies real bad along with all the love they share. A teacher needs to feel appreciated and loved you know?
We may look sweet, we may look cute...but ooooooohhhhhh.
I had another observation today. The day wasn't working in my favor. Coach was on leave today so we had no PE my prep time for my science lesson and the lesson in which I was to be observed and graded. So there goes the prep time. I was amazed however because for an hour and a half straight they we silent as can be...perfectly well behaved and calm..working hard on handwriting and then art projects. I was shocked. Then Rey came in for science and it was a whole different story. My computer and projector set up didn't work and they started spazzing out towards the end. *sigh* Hands on science became let's toss the rock around. I had to really raise my voice.
Rey strangely loved that...okay....you wouldn't think they would want you to "yell" at your students but whatever. I got a glowing review. Another shocker but hey I'm just glad this bout is over until next month.
I also collected about 7 or 8 cards and pictures today. for some reason the kids were being loves and handing me pictures and poems left and right. It made me feel good because after visiting my former school last Monday I was missing my babies real bad along with all the love they share. A teacher needs to feel appreciated and loved you know?
10/12/03
Why in God's Name?
U.S. May Expand Access To Endangered Species
By Shankar Vedantam
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, October 11, 2003; Page A01
The Bush administration is proposing far-reaching changes to conservation policies that would allow hunters, circuses and the pet industry to kill, capture and import animals on the brink of extinction in other countries.
Giving Americans access to endangered animals, officials said, would feed the gigantic U.S. demand for live animals, skins, parts and trophies, and generate profits that would allow poor nations to pay for conservation of the remaining animals and their habitat.
This and other proposals that pursue conservation through trade would, for example, open the door for American trophy hunters to kill the endangered straight-horned markhor in Pakistan; license the pet industry to import the blue fronted Amazon parrot from Argentina; permit the capture of endangered Asian elephants for U.S. circuses and zoos; and partially resume the trade in African ivory. No U.S. endangered species would be affected.
Conservationists think it's a bad idea. "It's a very dangerous precedent to decide that wildlife exploitation is in the best interest of wildlife," said Adam Roberts, a senior research associate at the nonprofit Animal Welfare Institute, an advocacy group for endangered species.
Killing or capturing even a few animals is hardly the best way to protect endangered species, conservationists say. Many charge that the policies cater to individuals and businesses that profit from animal exploitation.
The latest proposal involves an interpretation of the Endangered Species Act that deviates radically from the course followed by Republican and Democratic administrations since President Richard M. Nixon signed the act in 1973. The law established broad protection for endangered species, most of which are not native to America, and effectively prohibited trade in them.
Kenneth Stansell, assistant director for international affairs at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, said there has been a growing realization that the Endangered Species Act provides poor countries no incentive to protect dying species. Allowing American hunters, circuses and the pet industry to pay countries to take fixed numbers of animals from the wild can help protect the remaining animals, he said.
U.S. officials note that such trade is already open to hunters, pet importers and zoos in other Western nations. They say the idea is supported by poor countries that are home to the endangered species and would benefit from the revenue.
Officials at the Department of Interior and Fish and Wildlife, who are spearheading many of the new policies, said the proposals merely implement rarely used provisions in the law.
"This is absolutely consistent with the Endangered Species Act, as written," said David P. Smith, deputy assistant secretary at the Department of Interior for Fish and Wildlife and Parks. "I think the nature of the beast is such that there are critics who are going to claim some kind of ulterior motive."
Animal welfare advocates question the logic of the new approach, saying that foreign countries and groups that stand to profit will be in charge of determining how many animals can be killed or captured. Advocates also warn that opening the door to legal trade will allow poaching to flourish.
"As soon as you place a financial price on the head of wild animals, the incentive is to kill the animal or capture them," Roberts said. "The minute people find out they can have an easier time killing, shipping and profiting from wildlife, they will do so."
The proposals also trigger a visceral response: To many animal lovers, these species have emotional and symbolic value, and should never be captured or killed.
The Endangered Species Act prohibits removing domestic endangered species from the wild. Until now, that protection was extended to foreign species. Explaining the change, Stansell said, "There is a recognition that these sovereign nations have a different way of managing their natural resources."
10/3/03
Oh the Guilt
The last few days have been something else. Last night I had to attend and be a speaker at the first Sacramental Preparation meeting for my second grade parents and those parents of the parish children going through the Sacraments this year. This is the reason I didn't want to teach second grade. I went through all the Sacraments myself but I probably shouldn't be teaching them. I also am divorced and living with someone which is a big no no.
So right before the presentations start Fr. Emil who is a youngish priest who will be part of the Sacrament program asks me when he finds out who my mother is (the school secretary) if I was the one getting married...no I say. "Oh is it your sister?" No I don't have a sister. The Sunday School teacher then pipes in, "Jennifer you'll already married aren't you?" Which I have to answer I was 'cause I can't lie *sigh*. So then I mention that I was wanting to get an annulment to which Fr. Emile says he's on the tribunal and we can talk about it afterwards.
So the meeting bombs...for me at least. Being a theatre person I can talk out my ass for ages...have no problem being in front of people but I was not doing well this night. I should have sounded canned and read off my handouts but nooooo I had to try to wing it without reading and sounded lame in the process.
Afterwards. I talked with Fr. Emile in the rectory for a couple minutes about the whole annulment thing. I had to cry of course. Sometimes divorce seems like such a shameful thing, you failed or you didn't try hard enough. He was very kind about it and said some people were just not meant for each other. Then the whole cost of an annulment came up and I burst into tears again..even worse when he said that I wouldn't have to worry about it and that he would have the church take care of it. It's damn expensive and partially the reason I've waited for so long.
So now I have to fill out all the paperwork, obtain witnesses (5 of them), and write out our history (5 pages worth). Then it goes to the diocese tribunal (court) and then to the archdiocese if it makes it through the first round. All this to clear my marriage slate. Or not, as Fr. Emile said, to say it never happened but that it was non Sacramental. *sigh* I don't plan on getting married in the church again but I didn't want to be committing a major "sin" whenever I do get remarried.
Either way my future with communion is doomed..which sucks for my job.
Sometimes religion sucks.
And that brings us to today. My relationship with the secretary at the school is unique because well she's my mom..so I see my mom every day. After school she came into my room to talk with me about something I was angry with her for doing. She had told me that she sent my ex a birthday card. I know she had done this the last two years we were not together as well as to all his family but give me a break...we're divorced now...I have someone new. So I was mad. She said she didn't put love on it or anything. She just wanted to send him one since she sends them to everyone else in his family. I explained why I was angry and she understood but didn't say she'd stop.
Then she started tearing up about the whole loss of "family" (like we all were that close) with the divorce (like they talked to me at all after the separation). When she cries I cry so I was trying to hold it together. Then she starts in on the full blown tears because she isn't a grandma yet and "she wants a grandbaby". I don't need to hear that crap because I already hurt not having a kid. I want one so bad it drives me batty but what can I do? I can't have one now, I'd lose my job. I don't want to have one before I get re-hitched anyway. She thinks she is going to be an ancient grandma but she doesn't realize that I don't want to be an older mother either. Her crying and making me feel like shit doesn't help anything. It just makes it worse.
Alex told me the other day he wasn't ready to get married right now because he wasn't happy with himself. Well I would think if that was holding me back I would start doing something about it. I don't see him doing anything to lose weight which is what he is unhappy about. Eating HUGE portions of food and snacking all through the night doesn't help. I can't help him and I can't ever talk to him about it because he just gets mad. So no self satisfaction, no ring...no babies. *sigh*
So right before the presentations start Fr. Emil who is a youngish priest who will be part of the Sacrament program asks me when he finds out who my mother is (the school secretary) if I was the one getting married...no I say. "Oh is it your sister?" No I don't have a sister. The Sunday School teacher then pipes in, "Jennifer you'll already married aren't you?" Which I have to answer I was 'cause I can't lie *sigh*. So then I mention that I was wanting to get an annulment to which Fr. Emile says he's on the tribunal and we can talk about it afterwards.
So the meeting bombs...for me at least. Being a theatre person I can talk out my ass for ages...have no problem being in front of people but I was not doing well this night. I should have sounded canned and read off my handouts but nooooo I had to try to wing it without reading and sounded lame in the process.
Afterwards. I talked with Fr. Emile in the rectory for a couple minutes about the whole annulment thing. I had to cry of course. Sometimes divorce seems like such a shameful thing, you failed or you didn't try hard enough. He was very kind about it and said some people were just not meant for each other. Then the whole cost of an annulment came up and I burst into tears again..even worse when he said that I wouldn't have to worry about it and that he would have the church take care of it. It's damn expensive and partially the reason I've waited for so long.
So now I have to fill out all the paperwork, obtain witnesses (5 of them), and write out our history (5 pages worth). Then it goes to the diocese tribunal (court) and then to the archdiocese if it makes it through the first round. All this to clear my marriage slate. Or not, as Fr. Emile said, to say it never happened but that it was non Sacramental. *sigh* I don't plan on getting married in the church again but I didn't want to be committing a major "sin" whenever I do get remarried.
Either way my future with communion is doomed..which sucks for my job.
Sometimes religion sucks.
And that brings us to today. My relationship with the secretary at the school is unique because well she's my mom..so I see my mom every day. After school she came into my room to talk with me about something I was angry with her for doing. She had told me that she sent my ex a birthday card. I know she had done this the last two years we were not together as well as to all his family but give me a break...we're divorced now...I have someone new. So I was mad. She said she didn't put love on it or anything. She just wanted to send him one since she sends them to everyone else in his family. I explained why I was angry and she understood but didn't say she'd stop.
Then she started tearing up about the whole loss of "family" (like we all were that close) with the divorce (like they talked to me at all after the separation). When she cries I cry so I was trying to hold it together. Then she starts in on the full blown tears because she isn't a grandma yet and "she wants a grandbaby". I don't need to hear that crap because I already hurt not having a kid. I want one so bad it drives me batty but what can I do? I can't have one now, I'd lose my job. I don't want to have one before I get re-hitched anyway. She thinks she is going to be an ancient grandma but she doesn't realize that I don't want to be an older mother either. Her crying and making me feel like shit doesn't help anything. It just makes it worse.
Alex told me the other day he wasn't ready to get married right now because he wasn't happy with himself. Well I would think if that was holding me back I would start doing something about it. I don't see him doing anything to lose weight which is what he is unhappy about. Eating HUGE portions of food and snacking all through the night doesn't help. I can't help him and I can't ever talk to him about it because he just gets mad. So no self satisfaction, no ring...no babies. *sigh*
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