Attack of the Carboholic

It has happened. My once good, well rounded eater has been replaced by the carbmonster. Where he used to love his veggies and meat, he now will toss them aside for the cats or the floor to eat. Some nights it seems like he has eaten nothing. Hand him a Ritz, a piece of bread, or his new fave, a Vegetable Thin and he'll inhale that thing quicker than I can pick a cast aside piece of strawberry off the floor.

All is not lost though because he still has a love affair with all things briney. Pickles, awesome! Olives, heaven! Seriously, what kid passes up a nice juicy strawberry to nom on a Kalamata olive? Oh yeah, my kid.

The carb addiction must be a toddler thing because I see posts about other babies his age doing the same thing. When I start to worry about his nutrition, I just comfort myself my being glad we are still nursing. At least he's eating something other than Nabisco/Christie products. Maybe they'd like a spokesbaby.


One of the Worst Books Ever

Well, certainly one of the worst to read a week away from your baby's first birthday.

I happened across this book while at a local Christian bookstore, getting a baptism present for one of our favorite little dudes. Oh. my. god, I had to shut it quick before I started crying big ugly tears right there in the store.

I mean this one ranks up there with Robert Munsch's Love You Forever. You remember that one where the grown man rocks his elderly mother on his lap as she had done for so many years. KILLS ME.

You can see a few pages here but get out the tissue.
"Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts;
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave me to your past.
And I will be left thinking of
of a lifetime of your lasts..."
"The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time when you said you'd marry
me when you got old.
Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I'd have known they were your last?"
Seriously, bad idea.
I am so not ready for his birthday to come. Please sweet boy, please stop, for just a little while. I'm not ready to let go.


New Meanings, New Beginnings

This Sunday is Father's Day which historically is a day in which I'd rather gargle turpentine than celebrate. I believe I started calling it Non-existent Father's Day in my teens and oft wished they had Hallmark cards celebrating it or cards you could give to moms for being both mom and dad. Who knows, they probably have them now.

See, my dad was an abusive asshole, probably still is considering that he's still alive as far as I know. That day was never a time to celebrate and its arrival would always make me cry many daddy-less tears, second only to watching the father and daughter dance at a wedding (I have to leave the room for those).

However, now I can put that behind me. I can start anew with the afore dreaded Father's Day. Father's Day has new meaning for me this year.

I only have to look at my husband playing with Sebastian or hear him tell him he loves him to have that sadness wiped away. I can celebrate what my son has and what he and my husband have given me rather than what I don't have and for that I am so grateful.

I may get irritated at my husband sometimes and wish he helped me more, I may get pissed off at the whole me/him/step-daughter triangle, but he is first and foremost a great dad and boy does he love his kids.

Thank you Alex for what you have given me and for how much you love our baby. I love you and Happy Father's Day!