My Son, MacGyver

I fear we are in for it now. Sebastian is turning into MacGyver.

I submit as evidence:

A) Two nights ago we followed him into the bathroom as he was crawling in there. He went right up to the toilet, pulled up and tried to flush the toilet.

B) That same evening I was making the fold out bed in anticipation of my mother's arrival today. Sebastian was in the room with me "helping", i.e. yanking on the sheets. One of the cats jumped on the bed. He freaking loves that cat so he tried to climb onto the bed to reach her. The bed was too high so he, I kid you not, crawled to a garbage bag of diapers I had sitting there to take out of the room with me and drug it to the bed. He then climbed on top of the bag to try to climb up on the bed. It was still too high so he gave up.

C) Last night we were battling with him to get him to sleep. He kept trying to crawl head first off of the bed. I decided to take another bedsharing family's advice and show him how to crawl off the bed back end first. Obviously we would prefer him to stay on the bed but by teaching him how to get down safely we figure it would stop some banged heads and bruises. I showed him a few times and he was having none of it. He crawled across the room, pulled up at the door, and reached towards the doorknob to get out.

Yep, we are in trouble. Next thing we know he'll be rigging a way to get out of the house with tinfoil and chewing gum.


BLW Update 3/8 - 3/21

We are starting to get into combinations of solids now rather than only individual ingredients such eggplant and pear and a piece of meat. The past two weeks Sebastian has enjoyed quite a few new recipes and seemed to like most all of them.

Again, hearts indicate favorites.

Greek salad
Tunafish casserole ♥
Ratatouille ♥
Corned beef and cabbage with potatoes ♥
Sesame seed bagel
Celery ♥
Egg salad sandwich
Veggie lasagna ♥

Yeah, Greek salad was not a hit. The lettuce was too hard for him to manage and it kept getting stuck to the roof of his mouth.

Sebastian much preferred his green bean. We steam a couple for 20 seconds in the microwave and he loves them.

Eating corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day

I've noticed that he is very aware of what he is eating in comparison to what we are eating and will get upset if what he is eating is different from what we are eating. For example, if we have grilled cheese and soup, he can have the grilled cheese but not the soup. I'll make him a vegetable in place of the soup but he doesn't like that it's different.


My Mother, My Hero

We've already established I am turning into my mother, yet sometimes things remind me that I will never be half the woman she is in certain respects.

I was truly lucky to have a mother who stayed at home with me until I was eight years old and a welcome divorce necessitated she return to work. She was a wonder mom, the type who kept a spotless house, had a home cooked dinner on the table every night, and fresh cookies in the cookie jar each week. She also was my room mom every year.

Now that I'm a stay at home mom myself I have to ask myself, do I strive to be that wonder mom? Could I even do it? I don't think I can and here's why.

I am not anyone's damn maid.

(Well, anyone other than myself and my infant son's)

Perhaps I'm just bitter. Let me clarify and say that I am thrilled I can stay home with my son. Not being able to legally work worked out for me in that aspect. I am very grateful I can watch him grow and learn every day, and spend so much time with him. Those are moments I could never give up. However, I don't understand why SAHM = maid to all.

I get it, I get that many folks think if you are a SAHM, your job is the home and you should take care of it but that means that your job is raising the kids AND taking care of the whole house. Ideally I can see that happening when Sebastian is a bit older but now, *phhhhtt*, forget it.

It's hard because sometimes Alex comes home and makes comments about food on the highchair or crumbs on the counter (not always mine)and it makes me feel like crap. I know he sometimes wonders what I do all day. I certainly don't sit on my butt and eat bon bons. Now that Sebastian is crazy mobile I literally chase him and play bodyguard ALL DAY. I can't leave him alone for a second because he'll pull up somewhere he shouldn't, be pulling books off of the shelf (having a great time while doing it), or falling over and hitting his head because he'll try to stand on his own.

He's also very clingy at the moment so most of the time I have to be right next to him or holding him. Forget peeing in peace. If I want to get anything done while he's awake I have to wear him in my Ergo.

By reading the Bump message boards you'd think my kid is an alien because unlike the two - three naps most babies his age are taking, I am lucky if Sebastian takes one, ONE! So during that one nap I have to pack all of my cleaning for the day in and try to find a few minutes for myself (like I'm doing now by writing on my blog) lest I go crazy. Plus now that it's nicer out I try to get Sebastian and I out of the house for walks or to go to the park or library a couple times a week because we both can get stir crazy stuck inside the house.

This doesn't leave much time to clean up after everyone, because that's what I am doing. Since I've started staying at home it seems I have become everyone's maid. We don't have a dishwasher so I do all dishes. I'm the only one who cleans the bathroom, the kitchen, the dinning room, the living room, or Sebastian's room. I'm the only one who vacuums, sweeps, or mops. I'm the only one who puts Sebastian's toys away, does his laundry, or organizes his room. If I didn't wash and change our sheets we'd be sleeping on the same sheets for months. It's very frustrating when there are two other adults in the house that don't help.

Now I am grateful that Alex does much of the cooking because if he didn't love it so much or do it as much, Sebastian would be living in that Ergo.

I guess my point it, how did my mom do it? How did my wonder mother not go bat shit crazy? How come women of old could do so much more than I can? Did thy hold secret resentments or did they just put up and shut up because it was "women's work" they were expected to do and love it?

We could discuss this further but Sebastian just woke up after a 30 min nap and I need to finish washing dishes, finish cleaning the bathroom, fold and put away laundry, clean the living room, get the corned beef and cabbage ready to go in the oven, prep the house for my stepdaughter's guest,.....


A New Type of Birth Control?

I was reading a blog recently that centered around what pregnant women won't tell you, or what you don't know before becoming pregnant. It was pretty funny and truthful. I mean, I sure as hell had no idea about hamburger crotch or pooping on the table (I didn't do that for the record, I even asked). One would think that some of that stuff be good enough as birth control for the 16 and Pregnant set. I don't know about that. I propose we kick it up a notch and share the things you never knew about post partum, a dual layer birth control as it were.

1. Pregnancy Brain Gets Much, Much Worse

First of all I'd like to say that I planned on writing this blog post for about four months but I kept forgetting. Mommy Brain is no joke. I thought pregnancy brain was bad but it was nothing compared to the constant fog my brain resides in. Ask me what I did yesterday and you are likely to be greeted with a blank stare. I'm sure if I could actually remember anything I could tell you a funny anecdote. I could ask Alex to share one but he probably wouldn't be able to either. Mommy Brain is catching, you see.

2.Pooping Becomes a Religious Experience

And we aren't talking a good experience, we are talking about the "grip the sides of the toilet and hope for God to strike you dead" kind of religious experience. People always talk about the pooping on the table thing like it's some horrific thing and I say, forget that; the first one, two, three (even four) bowel movements are what is horrific. I swear I needed an epidural to push a teeny tiny crap past my stitches and no amount of Colace could help me.

3. Bald is the New Black

Around three months post-partum I noticed my drains starting to clog up regularly. I would wake up with my pillow, myself, and my child covered in hair. I'd have to clean out my brush weekly. Even though all signs were pointing to a hair exodus, I was in denial. It wasn't until I really examined my hairline in the mirror and saw that on either side of my temples it looked like I was actually and truly snatched bald headed. My once beautiful pregnancy hair was gone leaving me with a head reminiscent of a chemo patient. It is finally growing back in but now my head is covered with inch long wispy baby hairs. This whole hair situation makes a weave seem like not such a bad idea.

4. Are You There God? It's Me, Jennifer.

I've always been a small boobed girl. I was made fun of in junior high for being barely an A cup. It sucked. I longed for big boobs and if I could have added boobs to a Christmas or birthday list, I would have. Luckily, I grew into a small B in adulthood but I still longed for full, luscious Victoria Secret boobs. Imagine my extreme pleasure when I went to purchase a new bra during pregnancy and I had to buy a C cup. They just kept getting bigger and better. It was like winning the boob lottery. I mean seriously look at how fantastic they are in this pic!

That's all boob, no padded bra of old and taken a day short of Sebastian's one monthday. (Of course one could write another post on why I thought that would be a good outfit to wear to my son's baptism but whatevs. Thankfully I had him blocking my boobs the entire Mass)

Anyway, I could just cry looking at those fabulous things now because they are no longer. I'm still wearing my C cup bras but take the bra off and I have full on floppy National Geographic boobs. What happened?! I mean I had heard your boobs could shrink again but what the hell is this floppy boob thing? My boobs may have been small but dammit they were perky. I want those boobs back. I swear, God, I'll never be jealous of big ol' boobs again if these saggy things go away and my small perky ones return.

5. Sexy Time is no Longer Sexy

Why? It still freaking hurts. Yep 8.5 months later and I can probably count the times we've had sex on two hands, heck one and a half hands. Tears and breastfeeding do a number on the old sex drive and vagina. It's as if I had a permanent layer of sandpaper inserted after I pushed Sebastian out. Maybe that's what my midwife was doing so long down there. It doesn't help that we bedshare with a baby who is a poor sleeper. Just getting adult alone time is an act of congress. At least it is slowly getting better, but man, that was not expected.

So there you go, my five top "Things You Never Were Told About Post Pregnancy". If the prospect of pancake boobs, a dry vagina, bald patches, painful poops, and what was the other thing again? wasn't birth control for a teen (or anyone really) I don't know what else is.


We All Turn Into Our Mothers in the End

We always hear as little girls that you turn into your mother. You think as a teen that it will never happen to you but then one day, perhaps in your 30's or even earlier, you realize that yes, you have turned into your mother.

The transformation first happened with my voice. Sometimes I say things in a tone or manner that sound just like my mom. The horror! Even Alex would notice it. Then it spread to word usage. I catch myself using words my mom use and some of them are super annoying. It happens mostly when I'm talking to Sebastian. Ummm "stinky poo"? I hated that stupid phrase as a kid so why the hell am I using it with my son?

Voice and words aside the worst possible thing about turning into my mother happened and I just about wanted to die.

It happened one evening as I was picking up Sebastian's toys in the living room. I bent over in front of Alex and he says, "Your butt is starting to look like your mom's".

Instant. tears.

You see, my mom has always been a stick, like seriously 110 lbs and 5'8. While that seems like an awesome thing to some, it isn't. She has NO ASS, none. It's really tragic and even she doesn't like it much.

The sad thing is...he's right. Pre-pregnancy one of the things I really liked about my body was my bigger butt and now it's disappearing. I don't get it. How can having a baby make your nice butt go away? And it has, I checked in the mirror. My once firm butt has sagged.

So yes ladies, not only is loss of butt something they don't warn you about post pregnancy, it can be yet another example of how we all turn into our mothers in "the end".


BLW Update 3/1-3/7

More new foods were tried this week. Again, favorites are marked with a heart.

Salsa chicken with black beans
Spanish rice
Summer sausage ♥
Chicken balls with sweet and sour sauce ♥
Egg roll (veggie)♥
Fried won ton
Beef and peppers with garlic black bean sauce ♥
Chicken fettuccine alfredo with sun dried tomato sauce♥
Yogurt with granola
Wheat english muffins

Sebastian really liked the chinese food, even though we didn't so much since it was a new place for us. He also loved the fettuccine alfredo and cried when his tray was empty. I can't say he ate it all since a lot ends up in his bib pocket. I'm glad he is enjoying so many different flavours. Again Alex and I agree that BLW was one of the best parenting choices we have made. Sebastian still tries everything placed in front of him and he hasn't gagged in weeks.

The only new food he hasn't liked much was the homemade spanish rice. We are thinking it was too spicy. Alex said next time he makes it he'll cut down on the spices.


Baby Bucket List and Living Life

Recently I've been thinking about how I spend my time. It started with Alex and I having an argument over how much I'm online. Instead of getting defensive over it (I've been working really hard on the not getting defensive thing)I realized that he was totally right. I have my comp on all day so when Sebastian is nursing, napping, or playing on his own I can pop on and check my boards. The problem is, I think I'm too emotionally tethered to them and to Facebook and I need to cut way back. I need to focus on my family and my son. So now I turn off my computer in the evenings and am working on cutting back usage during the day.

With the computer turned off I've started to think about what I could, or should, be doing instead, yes, even what I want to be doing. Those thoughts led to what I would like to do with Sebastian, or for Sebastian. Of course I could come up with a ginormous list if I wrote down everything I'd ever like to do so I've decided to stay within 5 years. The following is our baby bucket list, things I'd like to do in Sebastian's first five years. Some things may be a bit of a stretch due to finances but I'm going to include them anyway. Some things we've already done so I'll mark them off.

1. Take S to Hawaii
2. Take S to Disneyland (Planning on it for his 5th birthday)
3. Build a snowman
4. Cut down our own tree at the Christmas tree farm
5. Go sledding
6. Have S meet his Great Grammy One of my biggest IF fears was not having a child before she passed. I am so blessed that he was able to spend time with her.
7. Take S to the SF MOMA
8. Play with homemade playdough
9. Bake cookies
10. Buy S his first LEGO set
11. Have family pictures taken
12. Ride a kiddie roller coaster
13. Take S to the Monterey Bay Aquarium
14. Play in the Pacific Ocean
15. Ride on a cable car
16. Baptize S
17. Go to the fair
18. Go to the Toronto Zoo and see the polar bears
19. Go to the library every week
20. Go swimming
21. Ride a train
22. Carve a jack-o-lantern
23. Go trick or treating
24. See the Nutcracker
25. See a children's play
26. Dye Easter eggs
27. Start Sebastian's birthday art book (Drawings every year on his birthday)
28. Play in fall leaves
29. Buy S a play kitchen
30. Build a fort
31. Go rollerskating
32. Go ice skating
33. Hunt Easter eggs
34. Get pet rats
35. Read a-loud Alice in Wonderland
36. Go camping
37. Teach S to tap dance
38. Sail on a boat
39. Go whale watching
40. Eat Monterey Fisherman's Wharf caramel corn
41. Ride bikes
42. Bounce in a bounce house
43. Play hide and seek
44. Fly a kite
45. Have a picnic on the beach
46. Go to the pumpkin patch
47. Visit an apple farm and pick apples
48. Raise money for UNICEF
49. Make valentines
50. Raise butterflies
51. Paint pottery
52. Play at Dennis the Menace Park
53. Feed the ducks at the park
54. Ride a carousel
55. Create a yearly book authored by S
56. Start family game night
57. Get a smile from his big sister
58. Plant a vegetable garden
59. Go geocaching when S can really participate
60. Build a sandcastle

I'll be adding to this list as things come to me.

BLW New Food List 2/20-2/28

Time to update our BLW food list as we've introduced a handful of new foods. Again, I've marked favorites with a heart.

Homemade Mac and Cheese ♥
Mango ♥
Sloppy Joe w/out bread
Chicken stir fry with rice ♥
Toast with Apple butter
California rolls
Kappa Maki